#honestly i thought about this for way too long and kind of want to just get it out of my drafts and into the world
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how seventeen would act with reader having daddy issues
WARNINGS: it may be sensitive to some people, and there are mentions of past traumas and family issues. mostly of it is basically, seventeen and their family taking care of you <3
a/n: this was an ask that was in my inbox for a long time, sorry about this đ„ș and worse, I was writing it, and the light have gone off, so ivĂ© lost the drabble and I cant find in my inbox, I just know that it was from my bestie hannieween, sorry about the long time đ„șđ I hope you like it
seungcheol: already planning how to spoil you just to make up for what you didnât get. this man would not let you suffer through those awkward, tense family reunions. the second you even hint at feeling uncomfortable, heâs pulling you out of there and taking you straight to his familyâs place. his dad, a total sweetheart. heâs the type to sit you down, ask how youâre doing, and genuinely listen. and thatâs when it hits youâthis is where seungcheol gets his protective streak. his dadâs got the same energy, always making sure youâre taken care of. itâs like youâre part of their family now, and honestly, it feels better than anything youâve ever known.
jeonghan: heâs sneaky about it, but in the most loving way. like, he knows youâve got that hole where support should be, and heâs filling it without making it obvious. heâd get his mom and dad to invite you over for a casual dinner, but then itâs all about you. âoh, y/n loves pasta, mom,â heâd say, nudging you under the table when you get shy. his parents adore you, and jeonghanâs sitting back, watching you laugh at his dadâs corny jokes with this smug little grin, like, yeah, thatâs my baby.
joshua: heâd plan random trips to his familyâs place, just so you can hang out with his mom. like, one weekend, youâre baking cookies with his mom, and the next, youâre playing guitar with his uncle. josh is always hovering, making sure youâre comfortable, but lowkey beaming when he sees you getting along with his family. heâs super patient, tooâhe never pushes, just waits for you to open up when youâre ready. and when you do... heâs holding your hand, whispering, âsee? they love you, just like i do.â
junhui: heâd make sure you feel like you belong there too. heâd take you home during the holidays, and suddenly, his momâs treating you like her own kid. jun would sit next to you at dinner, quietly making sure youâre okay, squeezing your hand under the table whenever he notices you getting overwhelmed. heâs just sitting there, watching it all unfold, thinking, yeah, this is what you deserve.
hoshi: this man would straight-up share his dad with you. like, heâd plan trips for the three of youâfishing, hiking, picnics, you name it. and heâd be so proud when you start opening up to his dad. he gets that itâs gonna take time, but when he sees you laughing at his dadâs terrible puns, heâs smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. sometimes, when hoshiâs away for schedules, youâd even hang out with his dad without him. heâll be texting you like, âmy dad loves you more than me now đ.â and even when heâs away for work, his family still makes time for you, calling you over to hang out or have dinner.
woozi: jihoonâs not big on family talk, but he knows you are, and he gets it. instead of dragging you into his family stuff, he makes a point of creating a new kind of support for you. like, you want to skip a stressful family dinner? cool, youâre spending the night at his place, binge-watching your favorite shows and eating takeout. heâs not one for big gestures, but he makes sure you always know youâre not alone. his quiet, steady presence is the comfort you never knew you needed.
wonwoo: heâd just sit there, letting you talk, and then hit you with the most thoughtful response ever, like, âyou didnât deserve that, but you deserve everything good now. let me be that for you.â giving you the worldâs warmest hug, heâd probably start joking about being your emotional support cat forever.
minghao: he fully believes in breaking cycles, so heâs the guy who helps you redefine what family even means. heâd take you to meet his ambient, his friends, his family, everywhere where he KNOWS you'll be taken care off. heâd also start little traditions with you, like Sunday morning walks or trying new restaurants, just to build something stable and comforting for you. he's not trying to be your dadâof course. but he's trying to make programs that he remembered doing with his dad and that somehow, marked his trajectory. he wants you to experience that too.
mingyu: when shit gets heavy, he doesnât try to fix it all at onceâhe just sits with you, lets you cry on his shoulder, strokes your hair, and whispers, âyouâre not alone, okay? youâve got me.â when youâre ready, heâs like, ânow, what do you want to do about it?â and heâll back you no matter what. heâll drag you out to do the most random shitâkaraoke, late-night drives, baking cookies at 2 a.m.âjust so youâre not stuck in your head. and when you thank him later, heâs like, âwho, me? nah nah.â
seokmin: he is the kind of guy whoâll carry youâliterally. if youâre overwhelmed, heâll scoop you up like you weigh nothing and plant you on the couch with snacks, a blanket, and whatever dumb movie he picked. âyou donât need to do anything today,â he says, plopping down beside you with the softest smile. but also, he wonât sugarcoat things, but he also doesnât let you get stuck in negative self-talk. âyouâre worth more than what he made you feel.â
seungkwan: got a sixth sense for this kinda thing. you donât even have to say the wordsâhe knows. heâs the type to gently steer the convo every time someone in your family says something shitty, or heâll swoop in with some sarcastic-ass joke to take the heat off you. but when itâs just the two of you, heâs soft as hell, cuddling you, stroking your hair, and reminding you that heâs your safe space now. heâd probably even offer to go with you to therapy, just to sit there and hold your hand.b
vernon: heâll say the goofiest shit to make you laughâlike doing terrible impressions of your least favorite family members or purposely messing up on kendama. doesnât even try to hide how much he loves you. when youâre down, heâs the type to turn everything into a youâre amazing campaign. random notes in your bag, impromptu âyouâre so coolâ chants, and hugs so tight they might crack your ribs.
chan: babyâs the sweetest. heâs lowkey hurt that youâve had to deal with that kind of stuff, so he makes it his mission to show you what love and support really look like. chanâs family would love you, and heâd be so excited to share them with you. heâd plan little visits where itâs just you, him, and his parents, so itâs not overwhelming. later, heâd check in, like, âdid you have fun? was it okay?â because all he wants is for you to feel loved and safe.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen x reader#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#svt imagines#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen fic#seungcheol x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#junhui x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader#woozi x reader#minghao x reader#mingyu x reader#seokmin x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#dino x reader#chan x reader#scoups x reader#soonyoung x reader#jihoon x reader#dokyeom x reader
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CINDERELLAâââJOE BURROW
request: "Reader is going out with girlies and dressed sexy that joe almost got mad at reader cuz he doesnât want reader going out with that dress and suddenly obsessed with boobies and told reader they cant breath in that dress" for @crispppykreme
The dress wasnât new, but it might as well have been, given how long it had languished at the back of your closet. A slinky little thing, sleek black with a neckline that danced on the edge of scandal and just enough shimmer to catch the light in all the right places. It was the kind of dress that didnât just suggest confidenceâit demanded it.
You were proud of how you looked, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror, twisting slightly to check every angle. The effort had paid off: hair done, makeup sharp, heels that made your legs look miles long. Tonight was about the girlies, a rare night out that wasnât dinner and wine but cocktails and dancing, the kind of carefree, late-night escapades you hadnât had in months.
Joe had been fine about it earlier, or at least you thought he had. There was an absentminded âHave fun, baby,â thrown your way when youâd mentioned your plans this morning. But now, as his eyes scanned you from head to toe like he was taking inventory, you could feel the tension radiating off him from across the room.
âYouâre really wearing that?â His voice wasnât loud, but it carried an edge that made you freeze mid-reach for your clutch. You turned slowly, eyebrow raised, trying to read the expression on his face.
âUh, yeah? Whatâs wrong with it?â You kept your tone light, playful, even though the way he was looking at you made your skin prickle. Joe wasnât one to throw around his opinions about your outfits, and honestly, you appreciated that about him. He knew you had your own style, your own vibe. But tonight? Something about tonight had apparently made him forget that.
He stepped closer, his hand running down his face as he let out a slow, deliberate sigh. âItâs not that itâs bad. Itâs justâŠâ His gaze dropped to your chest, and he gestured vaguely in that direction. âThat dress. I mean, are you sure itâs comfortable? Theyâuh, youâdonât look like you can even breathe in it.â
For a second, you just blinked at him, your brain scrambling to catch up. Then it hit you, and the corner of your mouth twitched despite yourself.
âOh,â you said, the teasing lilt unmistakable. âThatâs what this is about.â
Joe crossed his arms, clearly trying to play it cool, but the flush creeping up his neck betrayed him. âIâm just saying. Itâs kind of⊠tight, donât you think?â
You couldn't stop the grin spreading across your face, even as Joe triedâand failedâto keep his cool. He was too easy to read, the faint crease between his brows giving him away completely.
âOh, come on,â you teased, grabbing your clutch and turning back toward the mirror. âYouâve seen me wear tighter.â
âThatâs not the point,â he shot back, his voice firmer now, enough to make you glance at him in the mirror. He was standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe like some kind of judgmental Greek statue, all broad shoulders and furrowed brows.
âThen what is the point, Joe?â you asked, raising an eyebrow. âBecause Iâm getting the vibe that itâs not about how tight this dress is.â
He huffed, running a hand through his hair in that way he always did when he was trying to sort through his words. âThe point is,â he said slowly, âyouâre going out looking like⊠like that. And I know exactly how guys are gonna act when they see you.â
You turned around now, giving him your full attention. âGuys? Plural? Is that what this is about?â
âItâs not about guys,â he said quickly, but the words came out too rushed, too defensive. He shifted his weight, unfolding his arms, clearly trying to walk the line between annoyed and reasonable. âItâs about⊠I donât know. I just donât want anyone thinking they can look at you like that.â
âLike what?â you asked, stepping closer, biting back a laugh as you pressed your palm to his chest. His heartbeat thumped steadily beneath your hand, but you could feel the tension in him.
âLike⊠like youâre up for grabs or something.â His jaw clenched, and his eyes darted away from yours, like saying it out loud embarrassed him.
You blinked, genuinely taken aback for a moment. âJoey,â you said, softening your tone, âyou realize thatâs not how this works, right? Just because I look good doesnât mean Iâm inviting attention. And even if someone does lookâso what? Iâm coming home to you.â
His eyes flicked back to yours at that, softening slightly, but his lips pressed into a stubborn line. âYeah, but youâre mine,â he muttered, the words barely audible but so pointed they hung heavy in the air.
You couldnât help itâyou burst out laughing. âYours?â you repeated, shaking your head in disbelief. âWhat, are you going to put a sticker on me that says âProperty of Joe Burrowâ?â
He groaned, his hand raking through his hair again. âYou know thatâs not what I mean.â
âDo I?â you shot back, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. âBecause it kinda sounds like youâre saying I canât wear what I want unless it gets your approval.â
âThatâs not what Iâm saying at all!â he said quickly, but the way his ears were turning pink made you think he was second-guessing himself.
âThen what?â you asked, crossing your arms now, mirroring his earlier stance. âBecause, if you think Iâm changing out of this dress just because it makes you nervous, youâve got another thing coming.â
He stared at you for a moment, his jaw working, clearly torn between frustration and surrender. âItâs not nervous,â he mumbled finally. âItâs just⊠look, youâre too damn sexy, okay? There. I said it. And I'm not there to make sure nobody thinks they can have you.â
You raised an eyebrow, your grin growing wider. âOhhh, I see,â you said, dragging out the words. âSo, this isnât about the dress at all. Itâs about you being jealous.â
His face scrunched like he wanted to deny it, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he settled for muttering, âIâm not jealous.â
âRight,â you said, stepping closer to him again. âBecause youâre totally fine with me going out looking like a âdamn goddess,â as Iâm sure some guy at the bar is going to say.â
Joe groaned again, tipping his head back against the doorframe. âDo you have to do this?â
âYes,â you said brightly, standing on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. âBecause itâs fun watching you squirm.â
He sighed, his hands finally coming to rest on your hips, pulling you in closer. âIâm serious, though,â he said, his voice lower now, quieter. âYou look amazing. Too amazing. And I trust youâI doâbut that doesnât mean I trust every drunk guy whoâs gonna see you tonight.â
âI can handle drunk guys,â you said softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. âAnd besides, you know Iâd never let anyone get too close.â
âI know,â he admitted, resting his forehead against yours. âI just hate the idea of someone thinking they even have a chance.â
âWell, they donât,â you said simply, smiling up at him. âYouâre the only one who gets to peel me out of this dress later.â
His lips twitched into a smirk at that, and you could feel some of the tension leaving his shoulders. âYeah, youâre damn right I am.â
You grinned, giving him another quick peck on the lips before stepping back. âNow, are you done being dramatic, or do I need to remind you that this is my night out?â
He sighed, letting his arms drop but not stepping back. âFine,â he said, though his tone still had a hint of reluctance. âBut if youâre not home by midnight, Iâm calling.â
You laughed, grabbing your Chanel clutch and heading for the door. âSure, Cinderella. Whatever you say.â
âł make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
âł thank you for reading all the way through, as always âĄ
#nfl fic#nfl imagine#nfl players#joe burrow#joe burrow bengals#cincinnati bengals#joeyb#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow smut#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow x you#joe burrow x y/n#joe burrow x oc
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hi, I hope you are well!
i have a askk
what about Genshin Impact characters with a fem!reader who has powers similar to Gojo Satoru?
Hey! Sorry for the late delivery đ
You didn't specify which characters you wanted so I just put the ones I thought fit on my proposal đ
Characters: Wanderer (Scaramouche), Lisa, Diluc, Xiao, Thoma, Lumine/Aether (both travelers).
Content: It can be interpreted as platonic or romantic, some swear words perhaps, mention of violence typical of the Jujutsu Kaisen canon, reader is gn but more like male because Gojo is a man.
Comments and reblogs are very welcome âĄ
[Name] was a complex individual. He/She came to Teyvat along with the traveler, apparently being from a noble family from his/her and the traveler's original world. Yet, his/her incredibly strong strength and abilities coupled with his/her arrogant personality make the residents of Teyvat confused.
"What the f*ck are you doing?" Wanderer, or Scara, as you call him against his will, while you two were on a mission, looking for mint for the traveler.
"Can't you see? Water fall! Hehe~" you laughed foolishly as your technique prevented the water from reaching you, making a small waterfall above your head.
Scara let out a sound similar to a grunt mixed with a deep sigh.
"Why in the world traveler just have to put me with you?"
âOh, stop complaining. I bet youâre secretly having fun.â
âHaving fun? What in Teyvat makes you think thatâs fun?â Scara narrowed his eyes at [Name], clearly exasperated.
âWell, youâre still here, arenât you? If you really wanted to leave, you would have found a way by now.â
For a moment, the Wanderer was silent, his prepared response dying in his throat. He stared at the waterfall, and as much as he wanted to deny it, there was something... comforting about the scene. Something so simple, yet so absurdly peaceful that he couldn't help but let his guard down a little. He looked away, sulking.
"You're insufferable." he finally muttered, though his voice sounded less sharp.
"That sounds like a compliment coming from you!" [Name] replied with a wink.
Scara gave him a long, sharp look. "If you don't find the mint in ten minutes, I'll throw you under the waterfall for real."
The traveler was worried that you would end up killing each other. Surprisingly, you are always cursing each other but you have never gotten physical.
Perhaps it helped that the traveler made it clear to the Wanderer that you were the strongest in your world. Scara is not stupid, he doesn't pick fights with the stronger ones. Yet, he learned a lot about the kind of person you are.
"I'd like to find those artifact books before the traveler gets mad at me. I mean, Lumine/Aether can even cry!" [Name] said with an overly dramatic air, leaning forward slightly as she stared at Jean.
Jean just shook her head and sighed. Despite everything, a slight smile played at the corners of her lips, evidence that she did, in fact, find [Name]'s antics amusing.
"You never miss a chance to put on a show, do you?" Jean commented.
At the top of the stairs, Lisa watched the exchange with a mix of amusement and curiosity.
Leaning against the banister, she looks at [Name]. âHmm, if I were crying, would you comfort me? Honestly, I would love that.â
[Name] looked up at Lisa, eyes shining with provocation. âAh, Lisa, but you never cry! Youâre too strong for that.â
âAha, really?â Lisa smiled and laughed softly.
When Traveler asked if you really thought Lisa was that strong or were joking, you just shrugged.
Honestly, Lisa could be really strong!... or it could be pure flattery too, who knows?
âWhat kind of bartender doesnât like alcohol?â [Name] asked, arching an eyebrow as watched Diluc with a wry smile, fiddling with the dessert glass you had just finished devouring.
Diluc paused for a moment, the cloth falling onto the counter with a restrained sigh. He stared at [Name] with an expression that was on the edge of patience, his eyes narrowed. "I don't think you're the ideal person to judge me," Diluc retorted, his fingers touching the glass gently. "Being the psychotic for sweets that you are, I mean."
You made a dramatic movement of placing your hand over your chest, simulating an expression of exaggerated offense.
"Aaah, but that has nothing to do with it! I don't own a wine cellar!" You replied, turning your face away.
"If I work as a gravedigger, do I need to be buried?" Diluc said dryly, placing the glass back on the shelf with precision.
"That doesn't even make sense!" [Name] exclaimed, shrugging. "You're just making things up because you have no arguments." the sarcasm was clear in your voice, but there was also a subtle glint in your eyes that suggested you was enjoying the exchange.
Diluc let out a sigh, looking more tired than irritated.
"Tell me, [Name], why exactly is someone who clearly doesn't enjoy alcohol here in my wine cellar, filling my counter with candy crumbs?" he asked, taking a step towards the counter to organize the bottles with meticulous precision.
[Name] made a dramatic gesture with the hands, smiling teasingly. "Oh, it's nothing. I just like looking at your face and your red hair~"
Diluc huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at [Name] with a mixture of irritation and resignation. â[Name], donât you have anything better to do than break into my wine cellar and distract me while I work?â he asked, his tone exasperated but low enough not to draw the attention of his employees.
âNo, actually, I donât,â [Name] replied, with a mischievous smile that contrasted with Dilucâs scowl. âBesides, you have to admit that company does lighten the mood of this place. Itâs so⊠melancholy. It seems like someone here is carrying a lot of grief.â
Dilucâs eyes narrowed, but he didnât bite at the provocation. He slung the cloth over his shoulder and grabbed a fresh bottle of wine to organize the shelves, turning his attention back to his work. âIf you think this place is gloomy, maybe you shouldnât be here. Iâm sure Jean or Albedo would love to hear your unnecessary comments elsewhere.â
âBut neither of them have that hair,â [Name] replied, plucking an imaginary strand out of the air and twirling his fingers theatrically. âYou know, you could use a little more lightheartedness. Maybe I should bring you some sweets next time. Something that matches your hidden charm.â
âI donât need a lightheartedness, and certainly not your sweets scattered all over the counter,â Diluc retorted, finally turning to face him. âWhy are you really here, [Name]? It canât be just to tease me.â
[Name]âs expression changed for a moment, the playful smile softening. âMaybe I enjoy your company, Diluc. Itâs refreshing to see someone so⊠genuine. No matter how grumpy they are.â
Diluc was silent for a few seconds, his red eyes fixed on the you. He sighed, as if admitting a silent defeat, and went back to work. "Do whatever you want. Just don't leave any more crumbs on my counter."
[Name] laughed, leaning forward to support him with her elbows. "I knew that deep down you like me, redhead. You just don't know how to admit it."
"In your dreams..." Diluc replied, but the corner of his mouth almost threatened to form a smile.
You're honestly annoying. But he likes you. But he doesn't admit it.
"You really don't talk much, do you?" [Name] commented, leaning forward a little. "But that's okay, I'm good enough for two." Your voice was filled with a confidence that didn't go unnoticed.
"I'm also the type who doesn't have the patience for a long silence. In my world, being the strongest is something that comes naturally. No one dares to doubt that, and I can assure you that my power is something... unquestionable."
âYou talk too much.â Xiao finally replied, his voice low and somewhat harsh, as natural of his voice. âAnd yet⊠you have no idea what it means to truly carry the weight of eternity.â He pause. âI am a Yaksha, you know. We are more than just strength.â
"You have this aura of mystery, this... silence one. I'm very good at noticing details. And you, my friend, are full of them." You say, your tone naturally laden with arrogance, but Xiao sharpens his eyes.
"Very presumptuous for someone young." Xiao says, but shakes his head in the end.
It may not seem like it, but he is not bothered by your presence.
You tend to talk a lot, he honestly doesn't mind. It may seem like he's not listening, but he is.
He cares about you. Even though you keep saying that you are the strongest in your world. He wasn't around to see your displays of power, so he doesn't believe it.
He knows your arrogance will get you into trouble. That's why he's always around.
âThoma, itâs been a while!â [Name] exclaimed with a wide smile, your eyes shining with amusement as you saw Thomaâs blond head in the distance at the shop where the Kamisato Clanâs caretaker was buying some items for the day.
Your voice echoed through the street, carrying an unmistakable confidence, as if you had just met an old friend after a long period of absence.
Thoma, who had been distracted by picking out some ingredients for dinner, looked up quickly, immediately recognizing [Name]âs presence. He smiled back, his expression friendly and relaxed, his eyes sparkling with a hint of humor.
âOh, ah! [Name]!â he exclaimed, raising one of his hands in greeting. He took a step towards [Name], with his usual welcoming smile.
"How have you been, Thoma?" [Name] asked with a mischievous smile. "Continuing your mission to solve all the problems in Inazuma, as always?"
Thoma, for his part, chuckled softly, leaning forward slightly, his eyes shining with amusement. âI try. But what about you? Howâs life in Teyvat? Still enjoying your⊠âgamesâ?â Thomaâs tone was friendly, in no rush to get serious about any conversation, but it was also a bit teasing. He knew [Name] had a tendency to make fun of situations and people, though he could also tell that behind that arrogance was something else, something more human.
âAh, you know⊠Life is much more interesting when you can joke around with others. I canât help but be amused by the situations you and your Kamisato Clan get yourselves into.â
Thoma laughed, his smile now wider, he had grown accustomed to this dynamic of teasing and teasing between them. "I know, I know. But if you need help with any problems, you know where to find me."
"I know," [Name] replied, smile turning into a more relaxed expression, but still with a glint of mischief in the eyes. "I just hope you don't get into too much trouble with your duties. I don't want you to be too busy to help me when I need it."
You two act like you've known each other for ages. It honestly surprises everyone around.
Thoma cares about you just like Xiao does, but he personally believes that you are capable of handling yourself even without ever seeing your displays of power.
You've known each other for a long time. A really long time. Like, since birth.
Aether knows you like the back of his hand. Your family has always been rich and famous in the world you came from, your clan being the largest. Yet, you know the twins by literally sneaking them into your house.
"Come on, come up!" A child [Name] insists at the small window of your room. Aether was crouched on the lawn and whimpered.
"I canât do it! It's too high!" Aether says.
"Ugh, you crybaby!" [Name] grumbles.
You then start to rummage through your room looking for something. You grab a stool, quickly climbing onto it and leaning against the window. "Give me your hand."
"U-Uhh, but what if I fall??" Aether says hesitantly.
"Hurry up!"
Even though he was scared, Aether closed his eyes tightly and grabbed [Name]'s hand.
"I won't let go. I'll never let go." [Name]'s words made Aether open his eyes, seeing those deep vibrant blue eyes, and a smile. Not malicious like usual, but honest. "See? You don't have to be afraid of anything."
You didn't really let go of him. You never let go of him.
And he couldn't be happier about it.
You two will find Lumine. And you all will go home, together.
âTsk, this is ridiculous.â [Name]âs voice was cold, but filled with a quiet anger that made even Lumine feel uncomfortable.
You had always been the type of person to keep himself in control, but when your emotions boiled over, it was clear how unpredictable you could be. Lumine watched as your made impatient gestures, she can count on one hand the times she's seen you so upset.
âThat fatui trash thinks he can mess with you? Good news, he CANNOT,â [Name] continued, voice a bit louder than usual, revealing a fierce anger that rarely displayed.
You was referring to Tartaglia, who had tried to approach Lumine with a sly smile, his intentions veiled, as always. Lumine didnât respond right away.
She leaned forward a little, looking at him with a surprised expression.
âWhy are you so upset about this?â she asked.
âBecause no one has the right to treat you that way,â you said, still carrying an inner strength that could not be ignored. âI will not allow some piece of weak trash to think he can do whatever he wants.â
âYou really need to stop getting so angry over that small thing.â Lumine says, but quickly shakes her head. "I can take care of myself, you know."
âI know you can defend yourself, Lumine, but sometimes the world needs to remember whoâs really in control.â [Nome] spoke with renewed confidence, but this time it was more of a statement than a threat.
"You don't have to worry, [Name]. I can take care of myself." Lumine said in a soft but firm tone.
[Name] watched her for a moment, and for a brief second, the gaze softened. "I know, Lumine. I know." You finally murmured.
Like, yeah. No one messes with the ones you care about.
#genshin impact x reader#xiao x reader#aether x reader#lumine x reader#genshin impact lisa x reader#lisa x reader#thoma x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#diluc x reader#genshin impact imagine#genshin impact x you#genshin impact xiao#genshin impact thoma#genshin impact lisa
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Edge of Redemption
Loganâs life as a priest is built on a fragile foundation of faith and restraint. But then you appearâhis greatest temptation, threatening to tear down everything heâs worked so hard to build. Salvation is within reach, but the closer he gets to you, the more he wonders if itâs worth the cost.
Priest!Logan x Reader (9.1k wc)
TW: 18+ MDNI; nsfw, religious blasphemy/sacrilege, priest/church employee relationship, power dynamics, age gap relationship, light choking/breath play, dubious consent themes, emotional manipulation, religious guilt/shame, light degradation, praise kink, explicit language, sexual tension, touch starvation, passionate/rough sex, semi-public intimacy, forbidden relationship, dom/sub themes, emotional vulnerability, morality crisis, internal conflict, power imbalance dynamics, religious conflict, mild degradation through religious themes, consensual acts with power dynamics, office/workplace setting intimacy a/n: this was supposed to be 1k words... and so many tags bc honestly i felt so... religiously guilty LOL but this concept has been on my mind FOREVER. Not beta'd so probs lots of mistakes/repetition. I wanted to do smth different so...
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11/24/24Â
Logan thought the church would cleanse him, that its walls would shelter him from the shadows heâd carried so longâbut some sins were too hard to let go. The echoes of his past clung to him like a second skin, unyielding, no matter how many prayers he muttered or candles he lit. Every sermon, every hymn, every whispered confession felt like an act of penance, but the peace he sought remained just out of reach.
He had learned to take refuge in the routines, in the rhythm of prayer and scripture, as if repetition alone could dull the ache in his soul. The childrenâs laughter from the Sunday school classes brought moments of light, though even that felt like a reminder of all heâd never haveâa life untainted by regret.
Then you arrived.Â
A disruption he hadnât anticipated, your presence was unassuming yet magnetic, your voice soft but firm as you led the children from their classroom to their parents. It was the first time in a long time Logan had noticed somethingâsomeoneâbeyond the weight of his own guilt. He told himself it was nothing. She was a teacher, a kind soul, and he was a man who had no right to be drawn to kindness.
But kindness, he found, had a way of reaching the places he had worked so hard to lock away.Â
The first time you approached him, it was to ask about the churchâs history. A notebook held close to your chest, a warm and unassuming smile. âFather Logan, I was hoping you could help me with something.â
He hesitated, his pulse quickening despite himself. âOf course. What do you need?â
You stepped closer, your presence filling the small space between the both of you. âThe children were asking about the stained-glass windowsâthe stories they tell. I wanted to be sure I got it right before the next class.â
Logan glanced at the nearest window, its depiction of Saint Michael vivid in the afternoon light. He cleared his throat, forcing his focus to the question. âSaint Michael, the archangel,â he began, keeping his voice steady. âA symbol of divine protection. The sword he carries is meant toâŠâ His voice faltered as you tilted your head, watching him with quiet attentiveness.
âMeant to what?â you asked softly.
âTo strike down the forces of evil,â he finished, though the words felt hollow in his mouth.Â
The conversation stayed with him long after you left, your notebook tucked under your arm and your footsteps fading into the quiet of the church. Logan stayed behind, lingering by the window watching your shadow disappear around the corner.Â
âââÂ
This Sundayâs rain had come out of nowhere, a sudden deluge that hammered against the stained-glass windows and turned the world outside into a blur. Logan had stayed late, as he often did, finding solace in the quiet of the empty church. The flickering candlelight and the rhythm of the storm outside gave him a sense of calm he rarely found anywhere else.
He was about to extinguish the last of the candles when a faint noise caught his attentionâa soft rustling sound coming from the far corner of the sanctuary. His brow furrowed as he moved toward the noise, his boots echoing softly against the stone floor.
And then he saw you.Â
You were seated near the back of the church, a book in hand and papers spread out beside you. Your damp cardigan draped over the seat beside you. Your hair was slightly disheveled, as you indulged in your book, oblivious to his presence.Â
âWhat are you doing here so late?â Loganâs voice broke the silence, low and steady but laced with curiosity. âChurch let out hours ago.â
You startled, your bookmark slipping from your fingers as you looked up at him, wide-eyed. âFather Logan! IâI didnât mean to startle you.â
He crossed his arms, his gaze softening as he took in your flustered expression. âYou didnât answer my question.â
You smiled sheepishly, closing the book in your hands. You gestured to the papers beside you, âI was trying to get a head start on next weekâs lesson. The storm caught me off guard, and I figured Iâd wait it out here instead of getting soaked.âÂ
Logan let out a soft sigh, shaking his head. âYou know, most people wouldâve taken the storm as a sign to go home.â
âMost people donât have twenty kids asking them questions I donât have answers to,â you countered, your smile growing as you tucked your bookmark between random pages. âBesides, itâs kind of nice here at night. Quiet. Peaceful.â
He leaned against the nearest pew, watching as you carefully toyed with the edges of the book. âItâs not safe for you to be out this late, especially with the weather like this.â
âIâll be fine,â you said lightly, though the way you avoided his gaze told him you werenât entirely convinced.
Logan frowned, the protective instinct he tried so hard to suppress flaring to life. âAt least let me walk you to your car when the rain lets up. I donât want you getting caught out there alone.âÂ
âItâs okay F-father, Iâm not one for driving in the rain anyway.â You turned to look up at him, already finding him staring down at you.Â
Logan didnât look away, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. The way you said Father, like it was unfamiliar on your tongue, made something in him stirâa dangerous sometthing he had no business feeling. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to focus on the present.
âYouâre planning to wait out the storm here, then?â he asked, his voice lower, quieter.
You gave a small shrug, your gaze dropping back to the notebook in your lap. âIf thatâs okay. It sounds like it might be letting up soon,â Lie. âIt wonât be long if thatâs okay.â You hug yourself and itâs then that Logan realizes your arms are bare, save for the thin straps holding your top up.Â
Loganâs gaze followed your hands as you hugged yourself, the thin fabric of your top stretching over your arms. His eyes lingered, just for a moment too long, before he registered the goosebumps that had begun to rise on your skin. The soft glow of the candlelight flickered across your bare arms, highlighting the subtle tremor in your posture that unbeknownst to him had nothing to do with the storm.
He cursed under his breath, shifting uncomfortably where he stood. There was a small pang of guilt in his chestâthis wasnât right. He wasnât supposed to notice. He wasnât supposed to care.
But he did.
Logan cleared his throat, his voice rougher than usual. âYouâre cold,â he stated, though it wasnât really a question. It was a simple observation, but it hung in the air between you, thick with unspoken implications. His gaze flicked to the heavy downpour outside the stained glass windows, and then back to you, looking small and vulnerable in the dim light of the church.Â
You gave a sheepish shrug, clearly not wanting to admit it. âIâm fine. Really.â
Loganâs eyes narrowed, the protective instinct kicking in before he could stop it. âNo, youâre not,â he muttered, more to himself than to you.Â
He took a few steps toward you, his eyes scanning the room before settling on the door to his office. âIâve got some coffee in my office. Itâs warm, and itâll help.â
Before you could protest, he was already moving toward the office, and without thinking, he added, âCome on. Itâs not safe to stay out here for too long.â
You followed without much hesitation, the soft patter of the rain accompanying your steps as you entered his small, dimly lit office. The door clicked shut behind you, and the air inside was warmer, filled with the faint smell of coffee beans and old books.
Loganâs office was sparse but functional, with a small desk cluttered with papers, and a bookshelf lined with books, most of them theological texts, some old, some well-worn. It felt like a space where thingsâboth literal and emotionalâwere tucked away, just as he liked it. But tonight, with you standing just a few feet away, the room felt different.
He motioned to the plush velvet chair in the corner of his office, his back turned as he prepared the coffee. âHave a seat,â he said, his voice softer now, but still edged with that familiar tension. "Iâll make it quick."
You settled into the chair, and Logan noticed how you kept your arms tightly crossed over your chest. His gaze flickered over to the window, the rain still relentless outside, though now it felt like a distant background to the simmering awareness between you two.
The sound of the coffee pot bubbling was the only noise for a few moments, and Loganâs mind wandered against his will. He tried not to let his thoughts drift to the way you had looked at him earlier, the softness in your eyes that made him forget himself for a second. The way your voice had caught when you said Father, the hesitation heâd caught there. It was the smallest thing, but it gnawed at him.
He cleared his throat and handed you the mug, the warmth of it radiating through his hand as he held it out to you. âHere.â
You took it, your fingers brushing his briefly, and for the briefest of moments, Logan felt something pulse beneath his skinâa flicker of heat that wasnât just from the coffee.
âThank you,â you said softly, lifting the mug to your lips. The warmth seemed to bring some color back to your face, and you looked up at him again. âI didnât expect to be stuck here this late.â
He nodded, his arms crossed over his chest now, posture tense, as if trying to keep himself contained. âI know. But the stormâŠâ He trailed off, his gaze flickering back to the window yet again, though he wasnât really looking at it anymore.
You took a sip of the coffee, the warmth spreading through your chest, but it wasnât enough to chase away the slight tension that had settled between you. âI shouldâve left earlier, but I didnât want to risk driving in this. And I wanted to get aheadâŠâ You trailed off, your voice suddenly quieter, almost apologetic.
Logan's eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze flickering from the window back to you. He noticed the way you hesitated, the subtle shift in your posture as if you were choosing your words carefully. The air between you two felt heavier now, a quiet pulse of unspoken things that neither of you were acknowledging outright.
âYou wanted to get ahead?â Logan asked, his voice low but gentle, as if he were trying to coax you into sharing.
You nodded, your eyes not meeting his as you took another sip of coffee. âYeah. For next week. Iâve got so much to prepare for with the kids, and I didnât want to fall behind. They deserve more than half-effort.â You paused, a flicker of self-doubt crossing your features before you continued, âAnd, well, during the week... Iâm usually too busy.â
Logan didnât know why, but hearing you speak so earnestly, so committed to your work, made something stir in him. Heâd seen a lot of people come and go in this church, but there was something about you that made him feel like he was seeing the world through a new lens. Something soft, something untainted.
"That's admirable," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "You care a lot about them."
Your eyes met his at that, and for a brief moment, there was something like understanding shared between you two. A connection neither of you had planned on, but one that was impossible to ignore.
The quiet was starting to feel uncomfortable now, like something was building, and neither of you knew exactly how to handle it. Logan, never one to let things fester too long, cleared his throat again, stepping away from his desk to give you a little space.Â
âFather Logan,â you asked, staring at the pattern on your silk skirt, your voice soft but with a trace of curiosity, âI was wondering⊠when we speak of sin and redemption, how do we know when weâve truly atoned? Is there a moment when the weight finally lifts, or is it something we just carry forever?â
Logan blinked, the question taking him by surprise. He had expected something simplerâmaybe a question about the liturgy, or the history of a saintâbut this was different. It was deep, personal, something that touched the core of who he was.
He stood still for a moment, unsure how to answer. There were words, sure, but they all felt empty, hollow. Redemption wasnât something you could define so easily, not when you were so steeped in your own sins.
But before he could find a way to respond, you continued.
âIâve always wondered about it,â you said, your tone almost hesitant, as if you were unsure if you should ask at all. âDo you ever feel like itâs impossible? Like no matter how hard you try, you canât truly be... free?â
The question hung in the air between you, thick and heavy. It felt like you were both asking something deeper than what had been spoken.
Loganâs gaze softened, but he didnât know how to answer yet. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair and turned toward the stack of books near the desk.
âWell,â he began, âI donât know if thereâs a clear answer to that. But⊠maybe thereâs something in one of the texts that could give a little more insight.â
He moved toward the pile of books atop the bookshelf beside you, where his most worn ones were stacked. âJust give me a second,â he muttered, crouching down to search through the shelf.
As Logan knelt beside you, his focus shifted to finding the right book, his hand brushing against the spines of the leather-bound volumes. There was something in the way you watched him, quiet and patient, that made the simple act of reaching for a book feel far more intimate than it had any right to.
Finally, he pulled one free, and with a quiet sigh, he straightened his back, holding the thick tome carefully in his hands.
âThe answer may be in here,â Logan said, turning back toward you.
Logan shifted the heavy book in his hands, glancing at the faint text on the cover. The storm outside had cast the room in shadows, the only light coming from the faint glow of the streetlamp outside the rain-streaked window. He let out a soft sigh, realizing he couldnât read a word.
âItâs too dark,â he murmured, his gaze flicking to the small lamp perched on the side table next to the chair you were sitting in. His brow furrowed slightly as he assessed the space.
Without thinking too much about it, Logan leaned forward, the weight of his body shifting slightly closer to yours.
âIâll turn this on,â he said, his voice low, almost hesitant.
He reached across you, his chest brushing lightly against your knees where they were flush against the velvet cushion. The nearness made your breath hitch, and you froze, your eyes flickering to his face as he leaned in further.
Logan was suddenly hyperaware of how close he was to youâcloser than heâd been to anyone in years. The faint scent of your perfume mixed with the rain lingered in the air between you, soft and utterly disarming. He could hear your shallow breath, could feel the heat radiating off your skin as his fingers found the switch on the lamp.
The quiet click of the lamp filled the silence, and a soft, warm light illuminated the room. Logan didnât pull back right away. His hand lingered on the lampâs base for a second too long, his head tilted slightly toward you but he still didnât dare make eye contact, your faces just inches apart now.
When he finally shifted, his gaze flickered down, catching the way your lips parted as if you were about to say something. He didnât know why, but he couldnât move, couldnât bring himself to step away as quickly as he should have.
The air felt heavier now, charged with something neither of you could name. His throat tightened as he swallowed hard, his pulse drumming in his ears. The coffee mug in your hands suddenly felt scorching, but you clutched it tighter, hoping the pain could anchor you to reality.
âSorry,â Logan murmured, his voice rough as he pulled back slightly, though not enough to fully retreat. His knees remained firmly planted beside your chair, and the way his presence loomed made it impossible to look anywhere but at him.
The soft glow of the lamp cast shadows across his sharp features, making his eyes seem darker, more intense, as they searched yours for something he didnât dare to name.Â
He cleared his throat and let out a shaky breath and, without meaning to, his voice dipped lower. âFreedom⊠it's a tricky thing,â he murmured. âWe all want it, think we can earn it. But sometimes, it feels like we're just running in circles. We try to shake the past, but it stays with usâlike a shadow that never fades.â
Heat crawled down your neck as his eyes searched yours, searching for some understanding, as if the weight of his words could somehow make it easier to admit the truth.Â
âYou ask if itâs impossible,â Logan continued, his voice quieter now, the storm outside still raging. âThe thing is⊠it's not about whether it's impossible. It's about the fact that sometimes, we crave the things that keep us trapped. We want freedom, but part of us still holds on to the chains we know.â
His gaze finally dropped to the book in his hand, fingers tightening around the leather binding. âThe hardest struggle isnât denying what we know is wrong. Itâs living with the knowledge that sometimes, what we crave most feels impossibly, painfully right. And thatâs the test. Can we break free from that?â
There was a long pause, the room thick with the weight of his words. Logan turned the book in his hands slightly, his eyes lingering on the pages but his mind clearly elsewhere. The connection between the two of you now felt more palpable than ever. There was a shift in the airâa change, as if the weight of his words had unlocked something in you.
You held your breath, unsure if you should speak, but the tension in the room was almost unbearable. His gaze was so intense, like he was waiting for something, and in that moment, you realized you were, too.
"Sometimes," you began, your voice quiet but steady, "it feels like the harder we try to let go, the more we get pulled in. Like we're just meant to repeat the same cycle."
Loganâs eyes flickered with something unreadable, his gaze flicking to yours for the briefest of moments. His lips parted as if he was about to speak, but he held back.
It was strange, almost like he didnât want to say anything that would break the fragile balance that had settled between you both. And yet, there was something about your wordsâtheir softness, the unspoken meaning behind themâthat seemed to strike him more than you anticipated.
You shifted in your seat slightly, aware of how close heâs been, the air between you thick with unspoken understanding.
"Itâs like we're doomed to always want what we shouldnât," you continued, the words slipping out before you could stop them, your voice tinged with an emotion you hadnât fully grasped. "Maybe thatâs the only thing thatâs really free... the craving."
Logan's jaw tightened slightly, his eyes narrowing just a fraction, but his expression betrayed nothing. He took in your words, his gaze unwavering, but for the first time since youâd started speaking, something flickered behind his eyesâsomething raw, something just as vulnerable as your admission.
You hadnât meant it like that. You hadnât meant to give voice to that desire, to hint at something deeper. But Logan... Logan heard it.
And when he opened his mouth, the words came out more hoarse than he intended.
"Youâre right," he said, his voice quieter now, more thoughtful. "Cravingâs the only thing that feels like freedom sometimes... but it's also the thing that keeps us from it." He paused, eyes lingering on yours with a sharpness that made your heart skip a beat. âAnd maybe thatâs where we get stuck.â
For a moment, there was nothing but the low hum of the storm outside and the sound of your breath mingling in the charged space. It was as if everything hung on the edge of his next words, like both of you were waiting to see what would break the stillness.
You couldnât look away. Not now. Not when the air between you was so thick with the things you hadnât dared to say.
There was a softness in his gaze now, something like an invitationâsomething you couldnât quite place, but it made your pulse quicken all the same.
For a second, it felt like the space between you had narrowed to nothing, the tension unspoken but alive, and then Loganâs voice broke through again, quieter than before.
âSometimes itâs not about breaking free,â he murmured, his lips close enough for you to feel the heat in his words. âSometimes itâs about giving in. To what we crave, what we need.â
You swallowed, your breath coming faster now, realizing just how close he wasâhow close you were to crossing a line neither of you had dared to touch. And when you met his gaze again, there was a question there. A challenge, almost, like he was daring you to acknowledge it.Â
You shifted in your seat a smidge, knees brushing against his chest again. Logan looks down at your fingers pinching the fabric of your skirt between your fingers. You lean in close.Â
âTell me father, do you think the sweetest part of surrender is giving in, or the release that follows?âÂ
You could hear Logan's jaw clench as you leaned back to look him in the eyes.Â
The room seemed to hold its breath, the storm outside a distant roar compared to the thunderous pulse of tension between you. Loganâs eyes darkened, a flicker of something predatory flashing across his face before his expression smoothed into something unreadable. His hand, still gripping the book, trembled slightly as if he was barely keeping himself in check.
For a long moment, neither of you moved, the weight of your words hanging in the air like a challenge. You could feel the heat radiating from him, the space between you now almost unbearable. His gaze lingered on your lips, then your eyes, before returning to the fabric of your skirt, where your fingers still toyed with the fabric.
His voice, when it came, was rough, almost a whisper. "Itâs the release that makes everything make sense," he murmured, his gaze piercing as he leaned just a fraction closer, his breath ghosting across your skin. "But the act of giving in... thatâs where we find out just how far weâre willing to go."
Your heart hammered in your chest, and despite the intensity, there was something in his words, in the way he spoke them, that felt like an invitationâlike the first step toward something neither of you could take back. Loganâs eyes locked with yours again, this time with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat.
"You want to know whatâs sweetest, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice lowering to a gravelly growl, his hand finally moving from the book to rest just a breath away from your skin. "Itâs the release... but only after youâve let go completely. Thatâs when itâs real."Â
You barely had time to register his words before Logan's hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around your throat with a force that made your pulse spike. It was a gentle pressure, but it was enough to send a jolt of heat through your body, your breath hitching as his lips crashed against yours in a kiss that was anything but soft.Â
His lips were frantic, almost demanding as he lapped at the inside of your mouth, as though he could taste the tension between you both and needed to consume it, to devour it whole. The pressure on your throat was intoxicating, just enough to make everything else fade into the backgroundâjust the weight of his hand, the heat of his mouth on yours, the way your body instinctively leaned into him, unable to resist.Â
You couldnât help but whine when he deepened the kiss, his thumb brushing over your pulse, sending electric shivers down your spine. The world outside, the storm, the heavy airâeverything else seemed to dissolve, leaving only the rawness of the moment, the undeniable connection that had built between you both.Â
Logan pulled back, his breath heavy, but his hands didnât leave you completely. His fingers grazed your throat before sliding to your cheek, his touch softer now, almost apologetic. His gaze flickered for a moment, conflicted, before he let out a low, frustrated exhale discarding the book.
"Shit, sorry," he muttered, his voice rough, the usual controlled demeanor slipping. "I donât usuallyâ"
He trailed off, his words fading as if he was still trying to make sense of the rush of emotion that had overtaken him. For a heartbeat, you thought he might pull away entirely, the weight of his apology making him retreat. But before you could second-guess, you grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer.
Logan didnât resist. Instead, his lips hovered near your ear, his breath warm against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.
"Iâve wanted you," he admitted in a low whisper, the rawness of his voice making your heart race. "Since the moment I saw you, Iâve wanted nothing more than to have you." His now empty hand lightly ghosted your calf, running the back of his finger up and down your smooth skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
"But the church... itâs taught me something, hasnât it?" he continued, his voice lowering almost to a murmur, as if he was wrestling with a deeper truth. "Itâs not just about following every rule or duty.â His finger trailed higher, his thumb caressing your knee, then teasing the sensitive skin where your leg bent.
âThereâs a passage in Ecclesiastes that says, âTo everything, there is a season.ââ He spoke with a quiet intensity, his words lingering in the air like a weight neither of you could ignore. âSometimes, you donât wait for permission. If somethingâs right in front of you, you donât hesitateâyou take it. You donât wait for the world to tell you when the time is right.â
His fingers pressed deeper into your skin, the subtle pressure sending a rush of heat through you. Then, his palm splayed across your thigh, squeezing the tender meat with a possessiveness that left no room for doubt. The touch was slow, deliberate, as though he was marking his territory, claiming what had always been his. The air between you both thickened, each word and touch drawing you closer to the point of no return.Â
He pressed his lips to your neck, his breath hot against your skin, the words heavy with the weight of his need. "And right now," he murmured, his fingers curling into your skin, tightening as though he couldn't hold back any longer, "Iâm done waiting."Â
With that, his grip on your thigh tightened, drawing a soft whine from your lips. The hand that had been caressing your cheek slid to the back of your head, tangling in your hair as he pulled you into another heated kiss. Your fingers instinctively clenched tighter around the fabric of his shirt, tugging him closer, as though the space between you was too much to bear.
Once he felt you leaning into the kiss, his hand then trailed a slow, deliberate path down your body, grazing your curves until it reached your ankle. Then, just as slowly, it traveled back up the unoccupied side of your body, his touch sending waves of heat through you as his fingers slid beneath the thin fabric of your skirt.
One of your hands came to rest on his, the warmth of his palm searing your skin as he kneaded the soft flesh of your thigh. You let out a breathy sigh, and he responded with a low, gravelly groan, the sound vibrating against your lips.
Your fingernails grazed the nape of his neck, drawing him closer as you leaned back into the seat. He followed without hesitation, his weight pressing against you, grounding you, yet setting your pulse racing. Instinctively, your legs shifted, parting to let him settle between them, the growing heat between you thick with tension that begged for release.
His hands gave your thighs a final, firm squeeze, sending a shiver rippling through you before they began their slow descent down your legs to your ankle. His thumbs hooked under the edge of your skirt, the fabric gathering in his hands as he teased it higher, exposing more of your skin inch by inch. For a fleeting moment, his lips left yours, leaving you gasping softly at the sudden loss of contact, your body craving the return of his warmth.
Loganâs gaze fell to your lips, now swollen and parted, his own hovering close as though he couldnât bear to pull away completely. He leaned in again, capturing your bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle nip, tugging just enough to send a jolt of heat coursing through you. When he finally eased back, his eyes dropped lower, dark with a hunger that made your breath hitch. His chest rose and fell heavier now, his focus riveted to your legs as they shifted, parting wider in silent invitation.
Your body acted on instinct, your knees lifting to bracket his hips, pulling him closer as his hands found the heat of your thighs. His fingers slid beneath the soft skin, pushing your skirt higher with deliberate, torturous slowness. When the edge of the fabric reached just shy of exposing your underwear, he stopped, his grip tightening on your thighs as though anchoring himself. His gaze flicked back to yours, the weight of his restraint palpable, even as his dark eyes betrayed just how close he was to losing it entirely.
His voice came out rough, low, barely more than a whisper, his hand faltering for a moment as the fabric inched higher.
"You donât know what youâre doinâ to me. This... I shouldnât even be thinkinâ about it, let alone..."
His words trailed off as your underwear came into view, the soft lace hugging your curves in a way that made his breath stutter. He let out a low, guttural noise, his fingers flexing against your thighs.
"Christ, sweetheart... youâre gonna ruin me."
His hands moved with purpose now, sliding higher until they engulfed the swell of your ass, his palms kneading the soft flesh as though he could no longer help himself. With a single, deliberate push, he bunched the fabric of your skirt around your waist, his thumbs brushing down to press against the delicate bows resting on your hips.
His thumbs were toying with the fragile bows at your hips, brushing against the lace that barely concealed you. Your breath hitched, and you swore you felt him tremble against you, the tension in his body wound so tightly it was as if he might snap at any moment.
Logan let out a shaky breath, one hand sliding up your back pushing the fabric of your top exposing a small sliver of your back, kneading your flesh with both hands like he was memorizing every inch. "I swore I wouldnât... I told myself Iâd keep my hands off you," he admitted, his tone strained, like he was confessing a sin. "But everytime you walk in here lookinâ like that, sittinâ there all sweet... and then thisâ"
His thumb scraped the lace, grazing your skin so lightly it was almost unbearable. A moan catches in your throat, his jaw clenching, as he let out a frustrated growl, his hand gripping the meat of your thigh like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
"This is wrong," he muttered, though his actions betrayed his words as he pushed you upward towards him, until his lips found the curve of your jaw, trailing fire down to your throat. "But, God help me, I donât think I care anymore."
You whimpered softly as his teeth scraped against your pulse, his hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin as his fingers explored, teasing along the edge of your underwear.
"I should stop," Logan said, his voice rough and filled with conflict, even as his hand tightened on your hip. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and clouded with want. "Tell me to stop. Tell me to walk away, and Iâll do it."
But you didnât. You couldnât. Instead, your hands shakily slid up to cradle his face, your thumbs brushing over his rough stubble as you pulled him in close, pausing just before your lips touched. Barely brushing together, you breathed in each otherâs air, trying to catch your breath but only becoming dizzier. âF-father, please,â you murmured against his lips, the words barely audible but carrying all the certainty he needed.
Loganâs eyes darkened even further, and he swallowed hard, his breath shaky as his hands came up to cup your face. âWho am I to deny help to someone in need?â he murmured, almost to himself, as if trying to convince himself this was justified. âItâs my duty, isnât it? To guide... to offer support... even when itâs hard.â He pulls you closer to his hips.Â
You nodded more enthusiastically than you intended, your body shivering with anticipation. Your lower stomach burned with arousal, the need to feel him building with each second. The cold air of the office contrasted with the slick warmth between your legs, a sensation that desperately needed to be satiated.
The shift in your posture, the way your body responded to him, was all the confirmation he needed. His gaze flicked between your lips and your eyes, his jaw tightening as he leaned in to capture your lips yet again in another heated kiss.Â
He nipped and licked at your lips, the soft pressure of his teeth sending a jolt of heat straight through you. His breath mingled with yours, slow and deliberate, as if he were savoring the moment, tasting the very air between you. Then, with a groan, his tongue traced the edge of your bottom lip before slipping inside, exploring the warmth of your mouth.
Your body responded instinctively, lips parting to welcome him, your tongue meeting his in a slow, teasing dance. Every movement was deliberate, an exploration, a taste, and yet it felt like he was trying to draw you deeper into him with each brush of his tongue against yours. The warmth of his mouth, the way he gently pulled you closer, ignited a desperate ache between your thighs.
You whimpered softly as his hand slid down your back, fingers splayed to press you further into him. His hips pressed into yours, hard and unmistakable, the evidence of his desire undeniable. You felt the heat of his body, the burn of his touch, every nerve on edge, every inch of your skin on fire.
His kiss deepened, more urgent now, as if the need to consume you, to claim you, was taking over. He tilted your head just slightly, deepening the angle, and his tongue moved more aggressively, exploring with a hunger that matched the pounding of your heart. Every time he pulled back, the slight break in the kiss only heightened your yearning, the cool air rushing in before his lips found yours again, harder, more demanding.Â
With a small groan, Logan pulled away and it was then you realized he had unzipped his pants and set his cock free, painfully strained as it lightly grazed the inside of your thigh. Each time he huffed a heavy breath you could feel the heat emanating from his cock atop your soaked folds.Â
You began squirming beneath him, the anticipation becoming unbearable. You tried to lift your hips, desperate to meet him, to feel some kind of relief, but his grip on your knees was unyielding, anchoring you in place. Small whines escaped your throat, breathless and needy, as you wriggled beneath him, trying to close your legs, raise your hips, anything to alleviate the ache.
âS-sweetheartââ His voice faltered, thick with restraint, and your movements came to a sudden halt. You froze, looking up at him through hazy, half-lidded eyes, your chest rising and falling rapidly. You were intoxicated, drowning in the heat between you, his presence suffocating in the best possible way.
His hands tightened around your knees, his fingers digging into your skin as if trying to hold himself together, to maintain some semblance of control. His eyes flicked down to where your body was reacting to him, your legs attempting to press tightly together, your hips still instinctively shifting. His gaze darkened, swallowing thickly as his breath hitched.
"God help me," Logan muttered under his breath, as if asking for forgiveness, but his voice was raw with something far less holy. âFuuuckââ He breathed out when he finally allowed himself to touch you.Â
Years of only having his hand as company, mixed with months of pining after you made him feel more adolescent as he had hoped. His body lurched violently forward as one hand grasped at the armrest and the other at your groin, as he slid his thick cock against your silk covered folds, the fabric immediately glossing over with your slick. His hips picked up their pace, almost involuntarily with how wet the both of you were, he was desperate for friction.Â
You throw your head back in frustration, the mix of need and restraint between the two of you creating an almost unbearable tension. Your movements become more erratic as you try to help, attempting to rock your hips against him, but the uncoordinated motions from both of you do little to satisfy the ache in your stomach. The lack of control between you only intensifies the frustration, the heat building without any relief.
Loganâs breath hitches, his jaw clenching as he watches your desperate movements. A shameful growl rumbles in his chest, and without warning, his hand on the armrest moves to your throat. His thumb presses against the side of your pulse, feeling the frantic rhythm beneath his touch, while his fingers tighten around your neck, not enough to hurt, but enough to still you.
The pressure on your throat forces your movements to slow, your breath coming out in shaky gasps as his grip reminds you of his dominance. His hooded and hazy eyes darken, filled with an intense mixture of restraint and something far more primal.Â
âStay still sweetheart,â His chest heaves. âI promise, Iâll give you everything you want.â The hand not on your throat moves between your legs and pushes his cock down against your drenched pussy. Your thighs spread impossibly further as the pressure on your clit increases. Small moans leave your lips each time the tip of Loganâs cock halts beneath the swell of your clit each thrust harder than before.Â
It isnât until he fists the base of his shaft, where he lines the drooling tip of his cock with your seemingly tight entrance through the flooded fabric of your panties. Itâs obvious he enjoys teasing you, and restraining himself. He slowly pushed his hips forward, guiding the head of his dick past your entrance watching as his precum beads against the pink fabric the deeper he buried.Â
You threw your head back in both frustration and ecstasy. Relishing in the way his thick head stretched your pulsing entrance. A loud moan ripping its way through your throat but stopping short when Loganâs hand clenched tighter around your neck.Â
He let out a feral grunt, as he tried to sink further into your tight hole not yet able to bury himself completely.Â
"God, sweetheart... you feel so damn good, like Iâm finally touching heaven." He pulls his hips back, his breath ragged. "But I canât... I can't let myself get lost in this. You deserve better than... than whatever this is."
Despite being pinned against the seat by his grip on your throat, your heart races with the fear that he might pull away. Your hand reaches out, grabbing for the arm thatâs keeping you still, your fingers scrambling desperately for purchase. The other moves to grasp his shirt, fingertips tugging at the fabric as if you could pull him back, keep him close.
"Please," you gasp, the word slipping from your lips before you can stop it. "D-donât pull away." Your body arches instinctively, aching for more of the pleasure heâs been withholdingâthe sensation just barely within your grasp. Logan doesnât say anything in response, his eyes heavy and focused as he watches you squirm beneath him, his silence more consuming than any words could be.
The hand around your throat loosens, his fingers shifting to the back of your neck, and in that instant, the air between you changes. His touch softens briefly, but then his eyes darken again, a storm of desire and restraint fighting for dominance. He leans in closer, and you donât hesitateâyou wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him in as your hips lift to meet him, desperate for more, for release. Your lips part as small cries escape, mingling with needy whispers for him.
"How can I say no when this angel sent from heaven begs me so nicely?" Loganâs voice is thick with disbelief, as though heâs trying to convince himself that this isnât happening. His lips press against your neck, nipping and kissing, while his hips grind against yoursâslow and purposeful. But thereâs an edge to his movements now, a crack in his control.
Suddenly, the tension breaks.
"Fuck it," Logan growls, the words a harsh release of everything heâs been holding back. His hands grip you tighter, pulling you to him with a ferocity that leaves you breathless. "I canât hold back, sweetheart." His voice is low, gravelly, as his hips slam forward, no longer restrained, no longer holding back.
âOh,â You gasp as his hips drive in and out of you."M-moreâ" The cry tears from your throat as you clutch at his back. He finally gave in, but it wasn't enough. His grunts in your ear and stuttering hips tell you he needs more too.Â
"P-please father L-Logan," you whisper, overwhelmed by sensation, hands desperately searching for anchor. Your fingers tangle in his hair.Â
He's lost in you now, consumed by your body beneath his, the taste of your skin, the sound of your breath. There's no more hesitation or restraint. Logan surrenders to his primal need for you, every shred of self-control abandoned. When his lips crash onto yours, it's fierceâpure, raw desire with no trace of softness.
You whine into his mouth and he eats every sound like itâs his last meal. He grabs you at the bend of your knee, holding your leg up as he uses his other hand to hold your thighs open as he rams into harder. The fabric of your soaked panties pulling taut against your entrance each time he thrust back into your heat.Â
âMore, moreââ You cried out, when he gave one particularly hard thrust and rather than burrowing himself deep inside you, to both your dismay he instead rubbed against your folds. You sobbed in frustration.Â
âP-please,â you plead, your voice trembling as you pull his head against your chest, desperation lacing every syllable. âIâm a good girl, Father Logan, I-IâŠâ Your words falter as tears begin to spill from the corners of your eyes, slipping down your flushed cheeks.
Logan pulls away and freezes at the sight, his breath catching in his throat. For a moment, he canât look away from the way youâve unraveled beneath himâthe way your body trembles, how your tears glisten in the dim light, and the broken pleas falling from your lips. His chest tightens with a dangerous mix of pride and guilt, the weight of what heâs done settling heavily on him.
"Aw, sweetheart..." he murmurs, his voice softer now, the rough edges dulled by an unfamiliar tenderness. He tilts his head, pressing his lips to your damp cheek, tasting the salt of your tears as he whispers, "Don't cry." His thumb gently brushes away a tear. "I've got you now. I'm sorry for makin' you wait so long."
His lips move to yours, soft and deliberate, a kiss that holds both apology and promise. As he adjusts, his hands steady themselves, sliding to your hips. His fingers find the edge of your underwear, and with a careful, almost reverent touch, he moves the fabric aside.Â
Without breaking the kiss he guides his throbbing cock to your entrance, and his hips twitch forward. You cry out, but his tongue muffles your sounds. He grabs the tops of your thighs, gripping them hard enough to know marks will be there tomorrow.Â
âOh, God.â He comes to his full height when he pulls you to the edge of the seat, his hips make sharp contact with the back of your thighs and Logan pulls you impossibly close.Â
âHnnâŠah!â You mewled, your body constricted, overwhelmed with the new sensation of being filled to the brim. âFatherâŠâ You reached between your legs to try and push him back but he grabs your wrists, holding your palms flush against the heat of his happy trail. Your fingers clench, yanking at the hair between your fingers, and he lets out a low chuckle. His hips jerk.Â
âI was tryna take this slow, sweetheart.â He tries to bury himself deeper, and you moan at the delicious pain of being stretched.
âAhhâŠâ He lets out a devious chuckle as he feels you throb around him. âBut now that youâre squeezing me so tight, princess, I donât think I can.â He snaps his hips forward, and a breathy sigh of pleasure escapes his lips as his tip hits the pulsing wall of your arousal.
A cry rips from your throat as he pulls back from the hilt, his movements slow and deliberate, dragging against every sensitive inch of you. The emptiness is brief but unbearable, a plea spilling from your lips before he slams back into you, harder this time, his rhythm becoming punishingly deliberate.
"Youâre somethinâ sacred," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion, his hands trembling as they grip you tighter, holding you as if you might slip away. "And me? Iâm a man still chained to the things Iâve done. I donât know why God would give me you... not when I ainât even begun to earn forgiveness."
His words hang heavy in the air, a confession borne of guilt and reverence as his thrusts grow deeper, more desperate. Itâs as though heâs pouring all his contradictionsâhis desire, his regret, his unworthinessâinto every movement, every touch.
âYet here you are,â he murmurs against your skin, his lips brushing against your neck between ragged breaths. âLike a gift I donât deserve, like somethinâ holy, and IâŠâ
Between your moans, your hand wriggles free from his grasp, trembling fingers reaching up to press gently over his mouth. His words falter as his eyes meet yours, dark and brimming with emotion.
âDonât,â you whisper, your voice shaky but firm. âDonât overthink it. Just⊠just feel me.â You arch your back and thrust your hips to meet his movements, a quiet gasp slipping from your lips at the raw intensity of the connection between you.
His breath hitches against your palm, the tension in his body melting as if your words have unraveled something deep inside him. Slowly, his lips part, and he kisses the tips of your fingers reverently, like an unspoken promiseâa vow to let go, to give in.Â
His grip on your hips tightens, his pace quickening as he loses himself in you completely, every thrust a declaration of everything heâs too afraid to say aloud. His lips trail down the curve of your wrist, his body trembling as you murmur mantras.Â
âYes, yes, yesââ Each cry ripped from your throat, every time his cock stuffed you full. âOh God, yes.â You yelled, as his pace became violent.Â
Loganâs pace grows more frantic, each thrust a calculated mix of dominance and desperation. His breath is heavy, and the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the space between you, your cries echoing through the room.
But as your body trembles beneath him, he suddenly slows, pulling back just enough to make you gasp. His eyes lock onto yours, dark and intense. âIâm not close to God,â he growls, his voice rough with lust and something elseâsomething conflicted. âNever have been. I donât deserve a fucking angel like you⊠but damn if Iâm not enjoying every moment of this.â
A twisted smirk curls on his lips as he watches your expression shift, the heat of his touch still burning against your skin. âSay it. Say âFather Logan,ââ he demands, his hands gripping you harder. âTell me you can feel the guilt, the sin in every fucking inch of me. Say it.â
You moan softly as his grip tightens, your body arching beneath him, your fingers digging into his shoulders as the heat between you intensifies. Despite the sinful nature of his words, the way his voice trembles with need makes your breath catch in your throat.
âIâ Father Logan,â you gasp, the words slipping from your lips in a mixture of pleasure and desperation, the name falling so easily from your mouth, like itâs the only thing that feels right in that moment.
Loganâs smirk deepens, but there's a trace of something more in his eyesâsomething raw and uncontrollable. He presses in harder, his pace picking up again, each thrust making you cry out as he fills you completely. His lips brush against your ear, and he lets out a low, satisfied chuckle.
âDamn right, sweetheart,â he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. âYouâve got no idea how much I love hearing that. It makes this⊠all of it feel real.â He leans down to kiss you roughly, his hands pushing you further into the mattress as he continues his relentless rhythm. "Iâm so fucking far from anything holy, but you make me feel... like maybe I can be something good for you. Just for you."
The tension builds again, making every thrust deeper, harder, a wild mix of passion and pain as he drives you both toward something inevitable. He holds you close, his breath hot against your skin, his nameâa prayer and a sinâescaping from your lips with each frantic cry.
âCome on princess, I know youâre burning up down here.â His heavy hand presses down on your stomach, and you sob. He was nowhere near wrong, waves of heat ran from the tips of your toes, to the center of your core.Â
âI know youâre close âcause Iâm close.â He holds your hips as he comes back up to his full height, lifting you with him as he rests his knee on the edge of the seat. The new position allows him to somehow hit deeper at a different angle and thatâs all it takes to make your vision fade, and see white light.Â
Your body shakes violently as the coils in your stomach finally unravel, a string of curses leave your lips, as your hips jerk violently. Logan still chasing his release.Â
âOh fuck,â Logan chokes out in a low, gravelly tone, his voice rough with need. His hands grip your hips tighter, his pace never slowing, even as you tremble beneath him.Â
He pants, his words barely coherent as his thrusts become more urgent. âYouâre like a fucking blessing I donât deserve, but I canât stop, canât pull awayâ" He groans as he feels you pulse around him, coming down from your high. "God, youâre like heaven wrapped in skin.â
âFuck, fuck, fuck.â He continues to pound into you, the newly released heat rebuilding the more Logan drove into you.Â
âF-father, Iâm gonnaâ I canâtââ Tears spill from your eyes again, but this time Logan doesnât wipe them away.Â
âShh, youâre such a good girl,â His hands wrap around your throat as ripples of pleasure pinch at his nerves, âA goddamn angel.â And he squeezes his hands, hips coming to a halt as his cock pulses inside of you.
As he fills you with thick and heavy strings of his load, another orgasm splits your mind in half and your mind goes blank as you cry out for Logan.Â
âAh, fuuckâŠâ He sighs as he hesitantly pulls out. You whimper as he watches you clench around nothing. He picks you up with no problem at all and he switches positions, having you sit on his lap.Â
You can feel slick dripping from your abused cunt, and you attempt to move worried about ruining the manâs pants.Â
"Let go," he breathes, keeping you firmly in his lap despite your squirming. His fingers dig into your hips possessively. "Want to feel what I've done to you." You whimper as he captures your lips in a deep kiss, still oversensitive from before. His hands roam your body with renewed hunger, like he can't get enough. Your body trembles as his fingers trace your spine, stopping to knead your ass.Â
"Heaven sent," he murmurs against your lips, breaking the kiss to admire the marks he's left. When you try to look away, shy under his heated gaze, he gently turns your face back to his. "Look at me, angel." His eyes hold yours, dark with lingering desire and something deeper. His thumb brushes your cheek tenderly, a stark contrast to his earlier roughness. You both know this moment has changed everything between you, crossing a line that can't be uncrossed. But as he pulls you closer, neither of you can bring yourselves to regret it.
--
a/n: pls support by reblogging.
#wolverine#hugh jackman#logan howlett#deadpool and wolverine#logan x reader#logan fic#logan fanfic#logan smut#logan wolverine#logan x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#logan james howlett#logan x y/n
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The Bestfriend
(Preview)
Geto Ă Reader Ă Gojo pairing
Trigger warnings: NSFW content, including sexually explicit scenes (maybe). Poly Relationship (eventually). Emotional manipulation and power dynamics. Private relationship between counsellor and counselee is unethical so please don't date your therapist. MINORS DNI
Youâve been working at the corporate counseling department for a few months now, and one thingâs been constant: Gojo Satoru. The man, somehow, is always in your office. Heâs the CEO of the company, but it seems like heâs always got some reason to book a session. At first, it felt like a weird formality, but now, youâve gotten used to it. And honestly, youâre starting to understand why he needs so many counseling sessions. Gojoâs got this playful, carefree vibe that makes it hard to take him seriously. Heâs the type of guy who seems like heâd rather make jokes than have a real conversation, but when he does talk about something deeper, you can see thereâs more to him than just the annoying, charming guy who skips into your office like he owns the place.
One thing that keeps popping up, though, is his best friend. Gojo wonât stop talking about him, but heâs super vague. âAh, my best friend? Heâs too popular with girls. You really donât want to know about him,â Gojo says, flashing that trademark grin. Itâs almost like heâs trying to protect you from the guy, or maybe just doesnât want you to meet him for reasons you canât quite figure outïżœïżœeven though youâre only asking for counseling reasons.
As if that wasnât enough, your best friend, Kugisaki Nobara, decided you were âreadyâ to get back out there, and set you up on a blind date. Of course, you tried to protestâyou're not exactly looking for anything serious, especially not right nowâbut Nobara wouldnât have it. She pushed you out of your comfort zone, and before you could say âphilosophy,â you were sitting across from Geto Suguru, a calm, collected philosophy professor with a steady gaze and a soft smile.
Geto was, well... the opposite of Gojo. Heâs polite, well-mannered, and you could tell heâs a genuinely kind person. His quiet intelligence made for interesting conversation, and unlike Gojo, Getoâs not the type to fill every second with jokes and antics. He seems to enjoy deep, thoughtful talks, which you find yourself looking forward to more with each date. Yet, there's one thing Geto mentions way too often. His best friend.
âOh, him? Trust me, you donât want to know,â Geto sighs, rubbing his temples. âHeâs just... too annoying. I canât even deal with him half the time. You donât need that stress.â
Youâre getting the sense that both of these guys have a mysterious best friend thatâs somehow never worthy of a proper introduction. Itâs all starting to feel a little too convenient. But hey, youâre just the counsellor for one, and there for good conversation and some nice dates with the other, right?
And while youâve been getting to know them both separately, you canât ignore the fact that youâre kind of enjoying their company. Gojoâs the kind of guy who canât help but be annoying but somehow keeps you laughing even when heâs totally out of line. You canât deny his charm, even if he drives you nuts sometimes. And Geto? Well, heâs just... easy to be around. Calm, collected, and honestly, you could spend hours talking to him about anything.
Sometimes, though, the way Geto talks about the world makes you pauseâjust for a second. Itâs nothing obvious, just a word here or there, a tone that lingers too long. You brush it off, but it leaves you with an odd feeling you canât quite shake.
Youâre not exactly ready to call it anything serious, but as the weeks go by, you start realizing that youâre developing a little soft spot for both of them. Theyâre nothing alike, but thatâs exactly what makes them so interesting.
What you donât know, though, is that while youâre out here juggling dates and sessions with Gojo and Geto, something seems to be shifting in each of them. They both find themselves thinking about you more than theyâd planned, though neither of them would admit it.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen anime#jujutsu kaisen manga#jjk fanfiction#jjk fanfic#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#jjk gojo satoru#jjk satoru gojo#jjk satosugu#jjk geto#jjk geto suguru#jjk suguru#jjk suguru geto#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujutsu kaisen geto#jujutsu kaisen suguru#jujutsu kaisen writing#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut#gojo x reader#suguru geto#geto suguru#jujutsu geto#geto x reader#sukuna ryo
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Look, I think you're misconstruing some of my points and since this is reaching way farther than I wanted I would like to clarify for a second. This was kind of a bit of a rant post which I didn't expect people other than like 4 mutuals to... see? So as you can imagine I wasn't exactly my best articulated. Some of my points have definitely come across wrong, so to try and explain what I mean a little better:
I'm not saying we should see more flashbacks to Tom's life. This is a criticism I have of this plot point not being thought through, more than anything. It tells us something other that what was probably intended because you get the impression that Rowling didn't really consider the wider implications of what she was saying in the time period it was set. I'm not suggesting this should be delved deeper into, I'm just suggesting that it wasnt the best thought through.
With the Weasleys I just messed up the timeline on this one. I do genuinely have issues with some of the portrayal of the Weasleys which I won't get into, but this one is my mistake.
The Snape one is more of a personal gripe. My tongue in cheek remark about being "surprised you caught onto that" is in reference to the fact that I have heard/seen multiple people just glossing over that context to his life entirely - either because they missed it of because it was too minor for them to care.
My issue with the Hermione thing isn't actually that she obliviated her parents â as you say, this makes sense with her character â but rather how underutilised they are. We meet the parents and guardians of other, less important characters when they're thematically and narratively relevant, and given how important Hermione's status as a muggleborn is in the books you would think they would be both. It always seemed a weird choice to me that her parents are practically non-entities, spoken of occasionally but never seen. It's the show-don't-tell thing: we are told that Hermione loves her parent a lot, and of course we know this to be true, but the biggest time they are really relevant is when she obliviates them. Even if Harry had just seen them once, maybe sending Hermione to platform 9Ÿ, and had seen them in contrast to the Dursleys this would have given them more weight. Hermione is distraught, but we as the reader are much less emotionally involved because we have no idea who these people are.
The Lily point honestly feels like a bad faith arguement, because she was never just 'the main character's long dead mum', she was the person who saved him, who made him the chosen one, who is referenced throughout the series, and who is directly related to the actions of multiple characters. I would literally just like consistent characterisation for her, because the way she is spoken about doesn't align with the ways we see her acting in the few scenes she has, and even in those scenes she is somewhat contradictory. This is never addressed by Harry the way it's addressed when he learns the negative qualities of his father â though in a book targeted at a 9-12 audience you would certainly expect it to be. This makes me think, again: oversight. Kids books have to guide the reader somewhat, and this aspect doesn't really do that. Could've been a great addition to that "nobody's perfect" theme JKR had going, but wasn't executed in a way properly accessible to a nine year old as opposed to other points in the series.
thinking again about jk rowling being a bad writer. like, we all know about the massive flaws in her worldbuilding and i hope by now it's clear she's a bigot on basically every front. (hello, regular reminder that she doesn't even actually like women.) but like. she's especially good at dropping bits of lore and then those not being relevant in the fucking slightest. riddle was told to go home to his orphanage in london during what would have very much been the blitz? whatever. the weasley's are so strapped for cash that they're sending their son to school with a potentially dangerous broken wand? of course they're spending their lottery winnings on visiting their adult son in egypt, what else would they do. snape grew up in what was likely a dying northern industrial town with abusive/neglectful parents, largely cut off from the magical world? almost impressed you caught on to that, with how little it's expanded on. yes hermione has a supposedly good relationship with both her parents, no we're not going to show you it at all, yes she's going to wipe they're memories like it's nothing. lily evans is the moral compass of james and basically the most important person in the series but fuck you if you want to actually know anything about her lmao. even what little we see is wildly inconsistent.
#a lot of the issues i have with the writing are points not being thought all the way through#like when she had to destroy all the time turners because they were too good a plot device#or when she said lycanthropy was a metaphor for hiv/aids with reference to lupin not considering how bad that looked with greyback#but like was it really necessary to come for my throat for making a little post about someone whose work you like and i dont?#hp#hp critical#jkr critical#jk rowling critical#mine
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It had been a few days since she first crawled through the tunnel and found him. The other Bucky. He looked perfect, like he always had - messy hair, soft stubble, the kind of smile that made her stomach turn in the best way. And the world he existed in? Flawless. At least, the small parts of it sheâd seen so far. Every corner felt like it had been plucked from her happiest dreams and set up just for her.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldnât completely drown out the nagging voice in the back of her head, the one that whispered that this couldnât be real. Because sheâd seen him dead. His lifeless body, pale and cold. Sheâd stood there, trembling, as his casket was lowered into the ground.
So how? How could he be here now, smiling at her like nothing had happened?
Every time she tried to bring it up, heâd hush her doubts with a touch of his hand or a soft word. âDonât think about that.â Heâd say. âIt doesnât matter how. What matters is that Iâm here for you. I need you.â
She heard that last part a lot. Almost every time she crossed back into this world, every time she returned to his arms, heâd remind her that he needed her. It felt like a lifeline, something that tethered her to this impossible version of him.
Every night, after the comfort of his embrace lulled her to sleep, sheâd wake up in the real world again. Alone. The emptiness of her bed in the morning was a shot through the heart, and the loss would hit her all over again. Because that world without him was unbearable. It was cold, and cruel, and hollow.
But here, in his world, she could hear his heartbeat. Feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Smell the faint scent of his cologne on the sweater she never thought sheâd touch again.
So she was torn. Every time she crossed back into reality, she hated it more and more. She hated how it reminded her that he wasnât there anymore, that heâd been ripped away from her. But there was another part of her, the part that clung to her memories of their life together, that whispered that this wasnât right.
She tried not to listen to that part.
Because, honestly? She wanted to stay. With him. The buttons for eyes didnât matter anymore. That was her Bucky - her stubborn but soft-hearted Bucky. And in this world, there was no Hydra, no missions, no lives at risk for other peopleâs fights. Their friends lived carefree in cozy little cottages scattered around the area - as Bucky said. No battles, no sacrifices, just simple dinners and lazy afternoons. Even his metal arm was gone.
Now she knelt in the dirt, her knees on a foam pad Bucky had brought her earlier, muttering something about how âhis girl deserves comfort.â Heâd even tied her red apron for her, the bow sitting perfectly in the small of her back. It was a silly little thing, but sheâd smiled like an idiot as he adjusted the strings, his fingers lingering for just a moment too long.
Her thoughts spiraled as she dug her hands into the soil, planting some cute flowers in a neat little row outside the house. As much as she wanted to believe this was real, a flicker of doubt still simmered under her ribs, she couldnât help it.
âHey, doll.â A familiar voice called out, breaking her trance. She startled slightly but smiled instinctively as she looked up to see him.
Bucky stood a few feet away, holding two glasses of lemonade in one hand and brushing dirt off the apron he wore with the other. It was a cheerful shade of green, smudged with grass, and tied a little too tightly around his waist. It looked exactly like the ones theyâd worn together in the real world, back when theyâd baked cookies during Christmas. Back when she still had him. âYouâre overthinking things again, arenât you?â He teased, a knowing grin tugging at his lips.
She chuckled softly, brushing her hands on her matching apron. âMaybe.â She admitted as he extended a hand to help her up. His grip was firm, grounding, and when she stood, he pressed one of the cold glasses into her free hand.
âDo you know how much I love seeing you out here, planting all these flowers?â He said, gesturing to the budding garden around them. âItâs like youâre giving some life into this place. And to me.â
Her cheeks flushed, and she quickly turned her attention back to the flowers. âIâm trying.â
âYou are, and I love the view. Double win for me and the place.â
She laughed, shaking her head as she sprayed a little too much water on the marigolds. âYouâre impossible.â
He grinned, finally looking over at her, and the warmth in his expression made her chest ache in the best way. âImpossible or not, Iâm all yours.â
Her smile faltered for just a moment, and she swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lump forming in her throat. He had no idea how much those words meant to her - how much sheâd longed to hear them again. She blinked quickly, pushing the emotion down before it could spill over.
âEverything okay?â He asked, tilting his head as he set the shears down.
She took a sip of the lemonade, its tartness cooling her throat, and smiled faintly. âI just⊠I do it a lot lately - thinking, I mean. This all feels so surreal. That Iâve been given a second chance. Why me? Why not someone else?â
âWhy not you?â He countered gently, his tone warm and reassuring.
âBut itâs just⊠why does it have to be like this?â She hesitated, her voice dropping to a murmur. âItâs beautiful, but it feels like I cheated. Like Iâm running away from something Iâm supposed to face.â
He reached out, brushing his knuckles against her cheek. âYou didnât cheat anything. You found me. This world - it only works if the person searching for it needs it more than anything. It shaped itself for you, based on what youâve been missing, what your heartâs been crying out for.â
âWhatâs the price?â She asked, her voice low but steady, though the words felt like shards in her throat.
At that, he licked his lower lip, his gaze flickering with something unreadable - hesitation, maybe. As if he was weighing whether or not to tell her, whether or not she was ready to hear it. Or he was ready to say it.
âBucky?â She pressed, her heartbeat quickening.
âItâsâŠâ He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous. âItâs nothing compared to how weâd live. Come inside with me, doll. Iâll show you.â
Her stomach twisted at the vague response, and even as she nodded and followed him, a cold, nagging voice in the back of her mind reminded her that nothing good came without a price. She knew it.
She trailed behind him into the house, her hands trembling slightly as they entered the cozy living room. He motioned for her to sit, and she did so reluctantly, sinking into the couch. Her nerves refused to settle.
Bucky crouched in front of her, sitting on the coffee table with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands firm on her thighs. The warmth of his touch anchored her, and yet she couldnât shake the unease coiling in her chest.
âI want you to consider it, at least.â He began, his tone measured, his gaze fixed on hers. âI know it sounds⊠bad, maybe even awful. And it could scare you off. But the choice is yours.â His thumbs moved in slow circles on her thighs, as if soothing her for what he was about to say.
Her brows furrowed, and she leaned forward slightly. âWhat choice?â
He sighed, pulling a small box from his apron pocket. It was plain, unassuming, but the weight of it felt suffocating even before he opened it.
âYou can go back to the real world, where Iâm gone. Where Iâll never come back. Where youâll grieve, and move on, and live without me.â His voice softened as he spoke, his eyes - well, his buttons - searching hers for any sign of what she was thinking. âOrâŠâ
He flipped open the box with a quiet snap. Inside, on a bed of soft fabric, were two small, black buttons and a delicate needle threaded with dark, glimmering string.
Her stomach dropped. âNo.â
âThink about it.â His response came immediately, his voice steady and calm as if heâd anticipated her reaction. He pushed the box aside and leaned forward, taking her hands in his. She flinched slightly, trying to pull away, but his grip tightened - not enough to hurt, but enough to keep her there.
âBucky.â She whispered, her voice barely audible. Her eyes flicked from his hands to the buttons and back, her mind racing. âYou canât be serious. Thatâs insane. Iâm insane for even being here, forâŠâ
âFor wanting this?â He interrupted gently. âFor wanting me?â His hands softened around hers, his touch turning tender again. âI know itâs a lot. And I know itâs not what you expected. But this is the only way, doll. The only way we can be together - really, truly together again. Like we planned. It doesnât even hurt, it will just sting a little bit.â
âThis is fucked up.â She said. âThe Bucky I know, the real you, would never ask me to do this.â
âI told you Iâm not him. Just another version who loves you just the same.â His lips twitched into a bittersweet smile. âThe real me is gone, sweetheart. This me, the one sitting here with you, the one whoâs waited for you, who needs you⊠Iâm the Bucky youâve been praying for, the one you begged to have back. The only one you can have. Donât you see? You donât have to lose me again.â
She wanted to scream, to run, to crawl back through that door and never look back. But she also wanted him - to have him, hold him, hear his voice every day for the rest of her life. Just at the thought of living her life without him was enough to consider what he was saying.
Her gaze dropped to the buttons. âI donât know if I can.â She whispered.
âYou donât have to decide now.â He said, brushing his thumb across her knuckles. âBut you will have to make the decision soon enough. This world may be perfect, but it has rules.â
After that, the day went on as usual, as if the conversation about buttons and impossible choices had never even happened. Bucky didnât bring it up again, and she didnât dare to.
Everything about the way he held her hand, kissed her temple, and leaned close to her when he told stories about their relationship, that of course she already knew, was so perfectly him. It felt so easy, so natural, but she couldnât entirely silence the gnawing feeling in the back of her mind, the one that whispered about the things she was trying so hard not to think about.
The buttons. No matter how she looked at it, that was her main concern at the moment.
Would it really be so bad, she wondered, to do what he was asking? Was it really so much to give? If sewing buttons into her eyes meant she could stay in this world - with him - wasnât it worth it? He had told her she didnât have to decide right away, and yet she could feel the weight of the decision silently pressing her.
By the time evening rolled around, her head felt heavy with the back-and-forth debate she had been waging with herself all day. She was standing on the porch, slipping off Buckyâs boots with a scowl when the thoughts came rushing back again. The man, other Bucky or not, had a bad habit of walking through the house with muddy shoes, something that had annoyed her to no end in the real world, too.
âPerfect world, my ass.â She said quietly, kneeling to brush dirt off the porch. âAfter all this time, I thought you understood the phrase âno dirt in the houseâ, Barnes!â She said loud enough for him to hear.
âSorry, baby!â His voice called from the kitchen.
âIdiot.â
She set his shoes neatly next to hers, brushing the caked remaining dirt off her hands when something in her peripheral vision caught her attention. A shadow, slight and quick, darting across the edge of the garden.
She turned her head, squinting into the fading light. It was a cat. A black cat, sitting just beyond the gardenâs edge. The fur was very obviously unkempt, one ear ragged and torn like it had been in a fight. It sat there, still, its tail curling and uncurling behind it as its blue eyes were fixed on her.
It was the same black cat from the real world, she realized, the one that always seemed to prowl around her property at all hours of the day. She used to catch small glimpses of it lounging on her fence or slinking through the garden. Back then, sheâd joked to herself that it probably had a thing for Alpine. And of course, it would be here. If this world was a near-perfect replica of the one she left behind, why wouldnât it include the same stray animals?
But now that she thought about it, that was strange too. Where were the animals? She hadnât seen so much as a bird or squirrel flitting through the trees. And Alpine - her beloved Alpine - was nowhere to be found. That absence hit her like a brick. She hadnât even questioned Alpineâs absence. She cursed herself for it now. Bucky had consumed her thoughts so completely that she hadnât had room for anything - or anyone - else.
âHello there.â She said softly, stepping toward the cat. âYou hungry?â
âNo.â
She froze, her hand pausing mid-reach.
The voice was low and clear, but it wasnât Buckyâs.
Straightening her back, she quickly glanced around, expecting to see someone else standing nearby. But the porch was empty, save for her and the cat. âHello?â
âDown here.â The voice said again.
Her eyes darted back to the cat. It sat perfectly still, tail curling and uncurling lazily as it stared at her.
Her pulse quickened. âDid you⊠Did you just talk?â
âYes.â The cat said, sounding almost bored. Its voice was smoother than she expected, tinged with a dry, unimpressed humor. âAnd no, Iâm not hungry. But she is.â
Her chest tightened as she whipped around, scanning the empty garden for signs of another person - or something. âShe who?â
The cat didnât move, its eyes never leaving her. âYou know who. Youâre a smart human, donât fall for this trap.â It said, the slow flick of its tail suddenly feeling less lazy and more menacing. âSo leave, before she loses her patience and takes what she wants. Donât say I didnât warn you.â
Her breath caught in her throat. This had to be some kind of sick joke. Or maybe she was losing her mind. Slowly, she turned back to the cat. âWhat are you talking about?â She sounded demanding, her voice trembling despite her attempt to sound firm.
The cat only tilted its head, the corner of its torn ear twitching. âTell Alpine I see the way she looks at me.â
Her jaw practically hit the floor as she watched the cat vanish into the shadows of the night, leaving her standing there dumbfounded. She stared at the empty space where it had been, her mind spinning. How the hell had her life taken this turn? A talking cat? Cryptic warnings? What was next? The Slender Man?
With a heavy huff, she turned on her heel and marched back inside, shutting the door firmly behind her. She padded into the kitchen in her pink, fluffy slippers, trying to shake off the surreal encounter. âThe weirdest thing just happened, Buck.â She blurted as soon as she stepped into the room.
But then her eyes met his - well, his buttons. She froze mid-step, swallowing hard and clearing her throat. âNever mind.â
Bucky, standing by the counter with a dish towel slung over his shoulder, raised an eyebrow. âYou okay?â He asked, his voice tinged with a soft laugh.
âYeah, I think so.â She replied, walking over to him. The moment she reached him, she let her forehead rest against his shoulder with a deep sigh. Was it contentment? Was it exhaustion? She wasnât sure anymore.
Bucky didnât hesitate to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close against his chest. The familiar warmth of his embrace, the way his hands rested protectively on her shoulders, sent a wave of much needed comfort through her.
âWhy isnât Alpine here?â She asked softly, her voice muffled against his chest. âSheâs still alive in the other world. I can bring her here tomorrow morning.â
The change in his body language was immediate. His arms stiffened ever so slightly, and she felt the pause in his breath before he answered. âNo.â
She frowned, pulling back just enough to look up at him, confusion etched across her face. His tone had been quiet but firm, and it threw her completely off guard. âWhat do you mean, âno?ââ She asked, her eyebrows drawing together. âItâs Alpine. Our Alpine. Whatâs wrong with bringing her here?â
Buckyâs lips twitched into a thin smile - one that didnât quite reach the stitched buttons where his eyes shouldâve been. âI donât like cats.â He said simply. Sternly. As if the thought of cats disgusted him.
Her frown deepened, the words making no sense to her. âWhat?â She said, blinking at him. âSince when? You love cats. Youâre the one who brought Alpine home in the first place!â
His hand came up to cup her cheek, the gentle gesture disarming her even as his words made her stomach twist. âNot this time, doll.â He said softly. âWe donât need anything else. Itâs just us here. Cats have a tendency to ruin everything.â
The words rang in her head for a moment, refusing to fade even as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, soft and deliberate. It was the kind of kiss meant to disarm her, like he always did when he made her mad, to silence whatever questions were beginning to form on the edge of her tongue. She wanted to ask, to argue, but before she could even gather her thoughts, he was already gone. He was walking out of the kitchen muttering something about taking a quick shower.
She stayed rooted in place, staring at the empty doorway, her fingers curling instinctively around the edge of the counter. Something about the conversation, about him, felt off; she couldnât deny that. But again, technically that wasnât the old Bucky so maybe this version just hated cats?
She had no idea of how many red flags she was ignoring just for the sake of finding that happiness again. With him.
She shook her head sharply, trying to clear the haze. Overthinking again. She did that a lot here. It wasnât as if the real world made any more sense (Wanda had a habit of doing weird things with her magic, lately), so why couldnât she just⊠let go? Why couldnât she accept that maybe, just maybe, this was her second chance?
Her eyes drifted to the pile of clothes near the doorway: that was gonna be her distraction from the mess in her head. Gardening with him earlier had been calming, grounding, but their clothes had the evidence of their afternoon - smudges of dirt, streaks of green from the grass. His apron was folded on top of the pile, wrinkled and stained.
With a deep breath, she made her way toward the basement door after gathering the clothes into her arms. It creaked as she pushed it open, revealing a small staircase that disappeared into the dark space below. She hesitated for a moment, her grip tightening on the clothes. Something about the basement always managed to make her uneasy, though she couldnât explain why. Maybe she watched too many horror movies? Probably.
Even she had to admit the basement felt⊠off? Not creepy at all, though: no bad smells, no weird drips of water hitting the ground with a rhythm. It was just different. Cleaner, brighter, almost ominous how perfect it seemed. Oh, and that picture hanging on the wall of the staircase ? Yeah, it wasnât the same either.
Back in the real world, that kid was crying, ice cream dripping down his hand like the worst day of his life. Here, though? The boy was smiling wide and the cone perfectly intact. It wasnât like the rules of this place made any sense anyway. A âperfect reality,â right? So, of course, even random wall art was upgraded to match the vibe. Cool.
She forced herself to focus, dumping the gardening clothes into the washing machine and starting it up without wasting a second.
Good. Done. Get out of here before the imaginary basement monster shows up, she thought. It was a dumb fear - childish, even - but oh well. Basements always gave her the creeps. She turned toward the stairs, ready to bolt, when something caught her eye.
A splash of yellow sticking out of an old wooden chest shoved into the corner.
She froze - bad vibes coming from it. For a second, she considered ignoring it, pretending she didnât see it at all. But curiosity always got the better of her, again. She moved closer, almost expecting a jump scare of some sort, her hand hesitating before finally grabbing the fabric and pulling it free.
It was just a raincoat.
Tiny, bright yellow, and smeared with dried mud. Her stomach twisted as she held it up, the sleeves limp in her hands. This wasnât Buckyâs. It couldnât be. He was built like a tank, and this thing looked like it belonged to a kid - a little kid.
Her mind raced. She hadnât seen any children since she arrived. Not one. Just her and Bucky. And that cat, if that counted.
But there it was. The muddy raincoat of some kid who didnât seem to exist in this perfect world. Or maybe it didnât exist anymore? Or maybe it did at some point.
She swallowed hard, her grip tightening on the fabric. âShit.â She muttered under her breath, her voice barely audible over the hum of the washing machine.
âDoll? Where are you?â His voice floated down from the upper floor, pulling her out of her spiraling thoughts.
Her heart skipped, panic bubbling up as she quickly shoved the raincoat back into the chest, slamming the lid down with more force than she meant to. She bolted up the stairs, her breath slightly unsteady, and nearly bumped into him as he appeared in the hallway.
âWhat were you doing down there?â He asked, his brow furrowed, eyes - well, still those fucking buttons - narrowing ever so slightly.
âThe laundry?â She blurted, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. It was true, but it came out sounding like a question.
âAh.â His expression softened, the tension vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. He smiled, bright and sweet, like he always did when she was close. âThank you, doll. You didnât have to, though. You know that, right? You donât have to lift a finger around here if you donât want to. I couldâve done it.â
âI know.â She gave a small shrug, her arms folding protectively across her chest. âI just thought⊠I donât know. I donât mind doing the laundry here.â
Her voice faltered slightly at the end, and an unwelcome thought crept into her head. You couldnât even look at the laundry back home. Too many of his shirts still smelled like him. Too many memories. But she shook it off, forcing herself to focus on him, on the present - or whatever that world was.
Bucky tilted his head, studying her for a moment like he was waiting for her to say more, but she didnât. Instead, she reached for his hand, squeezing it lightly.
âYou sure youâre okay?â He asked, a soft chuckle escaping him, though his gaze lingered. âEvery time I leave you alone, I find you all panicked. And yes, I notice.â
âNo, yeah, I know. Iâm fine.â She nodded quickly. âI promise. Just⊠zoned out for a second, I guess.â
âAlright.â He leaned in and kissed her temple, his lips warm against her skin. âYouâve been through a lot. I just donât want you worrying about anything while youâre here. This place is for you to be happy. To rest.â
She offered him a weak smile, and he seemed satisfied enough to let it drop.
But the coat was still on her mind.
. . .
After a few hours after that, they were sprawled on the couch together, her legs stretched over his lap, her body nestled into his side. It was late - later than she normally stayed in this world. Usually, she made sure to fall asleep next to him just in time to wake up in the real one at a normal hour and feed Alpine, but tonight⊠tonight she let herself linger. The air felt different.
He made it too easy. The way his hand traced absentminded patterns on her arm, the low hum of his laugh when something on-screen amused him, the warmth radiating from him - it was like heâd been plucked straight from her dreams. And maybe he had been. Like it once had.
âYou sure you donât want to head to bed, doll?â He asked, his voice quiet but gentle, breaking through her haze.
âNot yet.â She murmured, her head resting against his shoulder. âI donât want to move at the moment.â
âAlright.â He said with a smile, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. âYouâre lucky I donât mind having you here forever.â
She curled closer to him, as if the simple act could keep her from thinking too much. But, of course, it didnât. Her gaze flicked to his hand resting on her knee, his fingers so gentle, so familiar. And then her thoughts drifted, unbidden, back to the basement. Back to the raincoat. Maybe she was being a bit exaggerated. Paranoid, even. But she was never good at keeping her mouth shut.
She bit her lip, her heart picking up speed. She didnât want to ruin the moment, but the question was clawing at her insides. Finally, she couldnât hold it in any longer.
âBucky?â She said softly, hesitantly.
âHmm?â His eyes stayed on the screen, his hand stilling on her arm.
âThereâs something Iâve been meaning to ask.â
At that, he turned to look at her, his brow furrowing slightly, though his smile stayed intact. âWhatâs on your mind?â
âIn the basementâŠâ Her voice wavered, and she cleared her throat to steady it. âI found a coat. A little yellow raincoat. Who does it belong to?â
The change in him was instant. His grip on her arm tightened - not enough to hurt at first, but enough to make her notice. His body stiffened against her, and though his smile didnât immediately fade, something behind it did.
He didnât answer. Not right away. Instead, his left hand began tapping his fingers against her leg, rhythmic and deliberate, his gaze drifting away from her and back to the television.
âBuck?â She prompted again, her voice quieter now.
Still, he said nothing. The tapping continued, a slow, unspoken signal that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
âDo you love me?â
She blinked, caught off guard. âWhat?â
âDo you love me?â He repeated, finally turning his head to meet her gaze. The smile was gone now, replaced by something completely different, something that made her stomach churn. âBecause Iâve been wondering, doll. You keep questioning me. Questioning this.â His right hand gave her arm another squeeze, harder this time. âSo tell me. Do you love me?â
âOf course I do.â She said quickly, her voice trembling. âYou know I do.â
âThen why canât you just trust me?â His tone was soft but charged, each word laced with a quiet intensity. âWhy do you keep asking questions? Doubting me? Doubting us?â
âIâm not doubting you, Bucky.â Maybe she was. A little.
His grip on her arm loosened slightly, but it wasnât the kind of relief she was hoping for. Instead, Bucky leaned back against the couch, his head tilting to one side as his hand fell to his own leg. His fingers began tapping against it.
âMmh, mh, mh.â He murmured, shaking his head, like he was holding back laughter - or something else entirely.
She instinctively shifted a little further away from him, her back pressing into the armrest of the couch. The distance was small, but it didnât go unnoticed. His sharp black button gaze flicked toward her, and the tapping stopped.
âYears.â He said suddenly, his voice flat but somehow seething underneath. âIâve been waiting for years, doll. Patiently. Quietly. And you canât even sew your eyes for the man you claim to love? Itâs a tiny little thing.â
Her breath hitched, her heart skipping at the accusation, the venom in his words. âA tiny little thing? Do you have an idea of what youâre saying?â
âWhat kind of love is that?â He continued, ignoring her, his voice rising slightly, cutting through her attempt to interject. âYou sit here, you say the words, but you donât mean them, do you? I wonder if it was the same back in your world, too. You told him you loved him, but you never showed it.â
âThis isnât fair.â
âFair?â He barked a humorless laugh, leaning forward now, his elbows on his knees. âDo you think this was fair for me? Sitting here for years, waiting for you, for this? Giving you everything you ever wanted, and you canât even give me this one thing?â
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, her jaw tightening as she fought the wave of emotions rising in her chest. âI asked you one question.â She said firmly, her voice steady despite the tension in the air. âA stupid little question, and now youâre standing here, making me out to be the problem? Because I want to know whatâs going on?â
He tilted his head at her, his fingers still tapping against his leg, the sound grating on her nerves. âItâs not about the question, doll.â He said, his tone low, almost mocking. âItâs about the pattern. Always asking. Always doubting. Youâre not happy unless youâre tearing everything apart to see whatâs underneath. And that bothers me to no end. I hate curious little things, you remind me of a cat.â
âI told you Iâm not doubting anything.â She said, stepping further back from him, her voice sharper now. âI just wanted to understand. And youâre acting like Iâve done something wrong for that. Do you even hear yourself right now? All worked up for a simple question - I just wanted an answer.â
âWell, whatâs the saying?â His grin got wider. âCuriosity killed the cat. You should learn how to mind your business.â
She crossed her arms, her posture stiff but rooted, unwilling to back down. âSo thatâs it? Youâre just going to dodge my question with some half-assed riddle? Maybe I wasnât in the wrong for asking.â
His grin faltered then, just slightly, and his head tipped forward. He stared at her, the light catching the shiny, smooth black of his buttons. âYou want to know about the coat so badly?â He said, his voice low, almost a growl. âFine. Letâs talk about it.â
She stayed silent, her heart pounding in her chest, but her face remained steady - which surprised her.
âIt was hers.â He said, his voice suddenly calm, measured. âCoralineâs. Sweet little thing. Full of hope, just like you.â
Her brow furrowed, confusion breaking through the tension. âWhoâs Coraline?â
He leaned back now, letting out a long sigh. âShe was the last one to walk through that door.â He said. âHer parents gave up looking for her after barely two months, then moved. Iâm thankful they did, because just a couple of years later and you arrived.â
âThe missing kid.â Her stomach twisted, but her expression remained firm. âYou took her.â
âOf course I did. I usually only take children, theyâre⊠better. Easier to control, easier to fool.â He let out a sharp laugh, the sound echoing in the room. âDid you really think this world existed exclusively for you? It has different shapes, and you surely were not the first to stumble across it. Hopefully not the last.â
She shook her head slowly, her hands balling into fists at her sides. âYouâre not Bucky. Any version of him.â She said, her voice low and cold. Deep down, she had always felt it. It was too good to be true. âGod, Iâm such an idiot.â
âTook you long enough to understand.â
She swallowed hard, her voice steady even as her heart pounded in her chest. âThen what sort of thing are you?â
He didnât answer immediately, just watched her with a strange calmness, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his thigh - and that was starting to piss her off. âIâm what youâve always needed.â He said softly, his voice almost tender.
Her stomach churned, but she didnât back away, didnât falter. âThatâs just bullshit, not an answer. I needed Bucky.â
âAnd I gave it to you, didnât I?â He countered, his tone sharp now. âYou walked through that door willingly, all of them did. The kids, I mean.â He paused before continuing. âDid you think it opened for just anyone? It opened because you were starving for what I could give you. And I gave it freely, to you and the kids. I gave you him, and I can still give it to you for as long as you want. But youâre too stubborn for your own good, arenât you?â
âI can be when you just said that a kid disappeared because of you. More than one.â Her throat tightened, but she forced herself to hold his gaze - or at least the empty, black gleam of the buttons where his eyes should have been. âWhat do you take in return? You create this illusion and for what?â
âMany reasons.â He tilted his head, studying her like she was an insect pinned to a board. âAnd I want nothing you werenât already willing to give.â He said, his voice light, almost flippant. âYou wanted to die, I wanted your soul.â
âLetâs not exaggerate.â She said sharply, though her voice wavered just enough to betray the panic simmering beneath her anger.
He raised an eyebrow.
âOkay, fine!â She bit out, her tone sharp, defensive. âBut it doesnât mean I wanted to be trapped by some⊠thing wearing my Buckyâs face, for fuckâs sake!â
âAnd yet.â He said evenly, his voice infuriatingly calm. âYouâre still sitting here.â
She pushed herself up from the couch in one swift motion, her movements stiff with anger and fear. âIâm leaving.â
He let out a soft snort, leaning back against the couch like he had all the time in the world. âYou canât.â He said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He gestured lazily around the room. âOnce you walked through that little door, you became mine. Think of thisâŠâ He added, his hand sweeping in a slow arc. âas a spiderweb. Youâre my insect, and Iâm your predator.â
Her stomach churned at the analogy, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of showing her unease. âSo sit, run, scream, do whatever you think will make you feel better.â He continued, his tone so calm it was maddening. âBut it wonât matter. You canât get out of here, doll. Not unless I let you. And I wonât.â
Her fists clenched at her sides, nails digging into her palms to keep herself grounded. âYouâre sick.â
âNo.â He said, his lips curling into a smile that no longer belonged to anything human. It was too wide, too sharp, and too full of malice. âNo, Iâm starving.â He tilted his head, his gaze crawling over her like she was a feast laid out just for him - and not in the sense she usually liked. âAnd Iâm going to sew those buttons onto your pretty little eyes, tie your soul to me, and Iâm going to do it wearing this face. Poetic, donât you think?â He leaned forward slightly, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. âI usually take my true form when I feast - itâs what scares the little ones most. But you? I like you better like this. Itâs going to be so good.â
Her throat tightened, and she struggled to keep her voice steady. âThen why didnât you just do it already? If this is your plan, why wait? Why let me stay here for days?â
âBecauseâŠâ He said with an exaggerated sigh, like he was explaining something painfully simple. âwhen youâve spent years waiting for your next meal, you get⊠lonely. Bored, even. Itâs called savoring. You were just so delightful to watch - so ready to believe, so desperate to be loved. I wanted to stretch it out.â His grin widened, revealing teeth that didnât look human anymore. âBut now? Now, Iâm tired of waiting.â
The weight of his words hit her like a physical blow, and her legs moved before her mind caught up. She stumbled backward, nearly tripping over her own feet, before turning and rushing out of the room.
Out of the house.
She didnât stop moving, running as fast as her legs could carry her. Her breath came out in panicked gasps, her mind a storm of denial and realization. There was no way. It was too good to be true. It had always been too good to be true, and deep down, sheâd known it. But he - or whatever that thing was - had been patient, deliberate, a master manipulator. Or maybe she was just too weak, too blinded by grief, to see the truth. Both could coexist.
The woods seemed to swallow her whole as she ran in there feeling like Snow White running from the Evil Queen. She pushed forward, deeper into the darkness, her lungs burning with every step. She wasnât even sure if he was following her.
Eventually, her legs gave out, and she collapsed against a tree, trying to catch her breath. Her chest heaved, and her ears strained for any sound of pursuit.
And then she heard it.
A soft rustle, barely audible, coming from the bushes nearby.
Her heart leapt into her throat. She was ready to move and run again, thinking it was the Other Bucky, but it wasnât. Not this time, at least.
âRelax, lady. Youâre all in one piece, Iâm glad to see it.â A familiar voice said, smooth and calm.
Her eyes darted to the source, and there it was: the fucking cryptic cat, sitting primly a few feet away as if this were all a casual stroll.
âYouâve got to be kidding me.â She panted, clutching her chest.
âWhat?â The cat tilted its head, unimpressed. âIâm a friend, in case you didnât notice.â
âWhat the fuck is going on?â She demanded, her voice shaky but full of anger.
The cat blinked lazily. âIf you donât get out of here soon, sheâs going to eat you. Thatâs whatâs going on.â
âShe?â The word slipped out before she could stop it. âThe Other Bucky is a she?â
âThatâs not even your dead human in the first place.â The cat answered. âSheâs not what she seems, obviously. Sheâs a Beldam - a witch who eats souls, usually the sad and lonely kind. Thatâs her thing. She gets people - or kids, mostly - to come through the little door and thenâŠâ It mimed biting into something with a disturbingly human-like smirk.
Her stomach churned. âWhy?â She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. âHow did she even know about Bucky? About everything? She knew things no one else did.â
âSheâs a supernatural being, lady. Sheâs got eyes everywhere.â The cat said, gesturing to the woods around them with a flick of its tail. âAnd ears. She always manages to get everything right. She spies you, thatâs part of the package when you move in the Pink Palace.â
She tensed, glancing around, half-expecting to see him - or it - emerging from the shadows.
The cat sighed, exasperated. âNot now. Iâd feel it if she were here. She hates cats. Canât stand us. And believe me, the feelingâs mutual.â
Her brow furrowed. âIs that supposed to make me feel better?â
âNo, no. Never said that. Youâre kind of screwed.â The catâs tone turned more serious, its blue eyes boring into hers. âBut hey, youâre lucky you lasted this long. You were an easy target - grieving, lost, and desperate.â It stretched, its claws digging the ground. âShe must have seen you as a feast that could last centuries.â
âShe - he - whatever that is, said something about taking my soul. And my eyes. I donât know which one is worse.â Her throat tightened, but she forced herself to ask. âBut why centuries? What does sewing buttons on my eyes even do?â
The cat tilted its head. âTies your soul to hers, you just said that. Permanently. Itâll kill you, but she gets to keep you - well, your energy, your grief. Itâs what sustains her. Sheâs probably been starving for years, so she needs you more than ever. Sheâs desperate to have something. Someone.â
âHe mentioned a thing or two about a certain Coraline. I saw her yellow raincoat in his basement.â She said, her voice quiet but laced with unease. âIs that really what happened to her?â
âAh, yes, Coraline. The Beldam made her believe she escaped, butâŠâ The catâs ears flicked, and his voice sounded like a mix of something between disdain and melancholy. âI tried to help her as best I could. I liked that kid.â He sighed. âBut Iâm just a cat, and sheâs the closest thing to a demon Iâve ever seen.â
âJust a cat?â She asked, incredulous. âYou talk. Why do you talk?â
The catâs blue eyes narrowed, and he started grooming himself, licking a paw with a deliberate disinterest.
âOkay, no answer. Fine. Then how come youâre in this place if he hates cats?â
He paused mid-lick, one sharp claw resting just near his mouth, then returned to his task. âA magician doesnât reveal their tricks.â He said smoothly.
âRight.â She muttered, rolling her eyes. âSo helpful. Then how do I leave? I canât believe Iâm having a conversation with an animal.â She whispered the last part. âWhatâs next? Iâll meet the Mad Hatter?â
âSarcasm doesnât suit you.â The cat stopped grooming and looked up at her. âAnd to answer your question, the only way out is the way you came in. You have to crawl back through the little door-â He froze mid-sentence, his fur suddenly standing on end, every muscle in his body going rigid. His pupils narrowing to slits. âSomeoneâs watching us.â
Her heart dropped into her stomach. âIs it the Other Bucky?â She whispered, her voice trembling. âIâm too young to die.â
âNo, itâs⊠definitely not the Beldam.â The cat seemed to get chill again.
âOh, for Godâs sake, you stupid c-â A womanâs voice, thankfully a familiar one, rang out, sharp and frustrated, cutting through the oppressive silence of the woods like a beacon. âFinally. I found you. Can you hear me?â
Her breath hitched, and she spun around, her eyes scanning the empty woods. âWanda?!â She called out, her voice a mix of disbelief and desperation, as if Jesus himself had just descended.
âWho else?!â Wanda snapped, her voice laced with exasperation. âIf I could, Iâd slap you repeatedly for being this reckless, but unfortunately, I have to save your ass first!â
She stared at the void around her, still unable to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. âYouâre yelling at me from⊠where? Are you in my head? What is this?â
âDoes it matter?â Wanda said impatiently. âListen. You need to get back into the house. Now.â
âGet back into the house?â She repeated incredulously, her arms crossing as though Wanda could somehow see her defiance. âOh yeah, sure. Let me just waltz back into the murder mansion with open arms. Do you think Iâm an idiot?â
âYes.â Wanda said flatly, with zero hesitation. âAnd since I think that, you better listen to me before you really get yourself killed. That thing - whatever it is wearing Buckyâs face - knows Iâm trying to pull you out. Itâs going to try to stop you. Probably in the most violent, unhinged, eye-sewing way possible. Or sheâs gonna manipulate you, do not give in!â
âThatâs not remotely comforting!â She said, running a hand through her hair in frustration.
âLet me finish!â Wanda said, her tone sharp. âYouâre going to have to hold out long enough for me to open the door. The real door. Sheâs locked it tight, and I have been trying to break through for days. Iâm close now, but I canât hold her back for long so I need you to crawl in there as soon as it opens. Got it?â
The cat, who had been slinking around her feet with an air of casual disinterest, suddenly let out a small snort. Or the closest thing there was to a snort since that was still a cat. âGreat plan. Perfect plan. Send the human back into the monsterâs den. Nothing could go wrong.â
âWhoâs that?â Wandaâs voice snapped.
âThe talking cat.â
âThe what? Youâve been ignoring me for months and now you found a new friend?â
âFocus!â She shouted, her voice bordering on hysteria as her pulse hammered in her ears. âOkay, okay. I go back to the house. Then what? Do I just knock on the door and say, âHey, Iâm ready for you to eat my soul now?ââ
âYouâre going to stall.â Wanda said firmly, ignoring her sarcasm. âKeep it distracted. Iâll do the hard part.â
âDistract the literal demon? Sure, Iâll just tell him a joke or two.â She said, throwing up her hands.
The cat leaped onto a nearby rock and flicked its tail, looking entirely unbothered. âMight as well. Sheâs got no sense of humor; could confuse her long enough for Wanda to pull her little magic trick.â
âStop talking.â She snapped at the cat.
âAre you beefing with an anim- you know what? Not the time.â Wandaâs voice broke through again, her tone softening slightly. âI know this is insane, okay? I get that youâre scared. But trust me. You can do this. Just hold on a little longer, and Iâll pull you out. I promise.â
âFine. But if I die, Iâm haunting all of you.â She said. âYou included.â She looked at the cat.
âDeal.â Wanda said, her voice tinged with relief. âI have to go now, do as I said.â
The cat yawned, stretching lazily. âI give you ten minutes before you freak out and bolt. And Iâm being generous.â
âNo wonder youâre a stray.â She hissed, shooting the feline a glare as she turned back to walk back to the house.
âOuch.â The animal theatrically said.
She scoffed, heading back towards the house, perhaps slower than she normally would. After only a few steps, she turned around. âArenât you coming?â
âIâm not suicidal.â
She bit back a string of insults. Picking a fight with a cat wasnât exactly her biggest priority. With a tight shake of her head, she turned on her heel and kept walking.
That was gonna be a long night.
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#james bucky barnes#bucky x oc#bucky x you#bucky#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x fem#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky winter soldier#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x female reader
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At Sea Without a Map pt. 38
"I'm just trying to get home - out of the Sea of Monsters," you explain. "We were told if our ship capsized and we survived, it could bring us underwater to the portals or whatever that can get me home."
A SOUND STRATEGY.
"Thanks!" you reply. "We were looking for a big shark named Lord Ironteeth who could do it, but got lost in the fog and crashed onto your island - err, or rather onto you, I suppose."
APOLOGIES. I TRY TO KEEP OUT OF THE WAY WHEN I NAP, BUT IT'S GOTTEN HARDER WITH AGE.
You nod as if you know what the crocodisle's going through, despite obviously having no frame of reference for this sort of thing. "You don't happen to know a way for me to get home up here on the surface, do you?"
THERE ISN'T ONE. ALL THE KNOTS LIE BELOW. NOTHING THAT CAN'T SWIM DEEP IS ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE SEA OF MONSTERS. I'M SORRY, HUMAN, BUT UNTIL YOU CAN DO THAT, YOU'RE STUCK.
"Shoot," you sigh. "Well, could you maybe help us? You seem big enough to capsize our boat."
IT HAS TO BE REAL PERIL FOR YOU TO GROW FROM IT, HUMAN. AND I DO NOT WANT TO HURT YOU.
"Aw frick," you sigh again. "So it's Viking rules?"
PRETTY MUCH, YES, VIKING RULES.
The crocodisle slowly unfurls its body, knocking your boat loose without sending it spinning, and then calmly swims up so its head is side by side with your ship.
BUT LORD IRONTEETH WILL LIKELY DO IT. HE HAS BEEN MENACED BY HUMANS BEFORE, AND HAS NO GREAT LOVE FOR YOUR KIND. I CAN POINT YOU IN HIS DIRECTION, BUT THE MAELSTROM THAT FOLLOWS HIM IS DANGEROUS. YOU WILL NEED TO KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU.
"That's be real helpful, thank you!"
NO PROBLEM. ANY FRIEND OF A CHILD OF SYCORAX IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
With imminent peril no longer imminent, you finally register what that phrase means. "Child of Sycorax - you mean Calibani? Is that what she is, a sycorax?"
NO, SYCORAX IS A SERPENT AND A SHIP-BREAKER, A VAST AND CROOKED CREATURE.
The crocodisle's eyes close in pleasant remembrance.
SHE IS A DEAR FRIEND. IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE LAST I SWAM IN HER WATERS. PERHAPS IT IS PROVIDENCE THAT HER CHILD WOUND UP ON MY SHORE.
Calibani leans out over the rail, her ear-like fins perked up with curiosity. "How do you know I'm her daughter?"
The crocodisle regards her quietly for a moment.
THERE IS A GREAT DEAL OF FAMILY RESEMBLANCE, EVEN IF YOU ARE MUCH SMALLER.
You look at Calibani and see her smile grow wide and warm. "I have family," she says quietly. "I have family!"
Seeing her so happy warms your heart, only to send a jolt of anxiety through you as you remember what your goal is. "I'm trying to get home," you repeat to the crocodisle. "But... I don't want to leave this place... to leave her forever. If I go home, is there a way I can return?"
The crocodisle's eyebrow shifts, making it look almost apologetic.
DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU GOT HERE?
"...no."
THEN YOU PROBABLY WON'T BE ABLE TO RETURN ONCE YOU LEAVE.
You heave a great big sigh and look down at the sea, realizing that your hope for the best of both worlds isn't well-founded. "I suppose that makes sense." As you try to think of some way you can compromise, a thought occurs to you. "Have you seen any other humans on the sea? Maybe some who've managed to survive out here?"
NOT MANY THAT LAST. THERE IS ONE GROUP OF HUMANS I'VE HEARD OF. THEY LIVE IN A METAL SPHERE BENEATH THE WAVES, DEEP IN THE DEPTHS. I HAVE BEEN TOLD THEY SHOULD BE AVOIDED, FOR THEY MAKE MUCH MISCHIEF. THEY'RE CALLED THE SPINDLE.
That last word definitely rings a bell, but not one you want to focus on at the moment. "What about islands? Are there any big islands we can find - ones with food, and shelter?"
NOT MANY, AND NONE NEAR. YOU ARE IN THE SEA OF MONSTERS, AFTER ALL. IT IS A PLACE FOR THINGS THAT SWIM FIRST AND FOREMOST.
You nod. "Thanks, you've been really helpful. You're... one of the nicest people I've met out here, honestly."
The crocodisle nods and nudges your boat a bit.
VERY KIND OF YOU TO SAY SO. GO FORWARD IN THIS DIRECTION, AND YOU WILL FIND LORD IRONTEETH. I WISH YOU LUCK, HUMAN, AND YOU AS WELL, CALIBANI, CHILD OF SYCORAX. MAY THE TIDES TURN YOUR WAY.
Then, with a swift yet graceful motion that miraculously does little to churn the ocean in its wake, the massive reptile slides under the skin of the water and dives deep into the depths of the ocean, disappearing from sight and leaving your boat free once more.
Calibani turns to you. "You want to come back?" she asks, her voice quiet yet intense with longing. "To... to see me?"
"Yeah," you admit easily. "You're my friend, Calibani. I want to get home, but... I don't want to lose you to do it."
She stares at you, her eyes wide and slightly watery. "Really?"
As you realize you've stumbled into an intimate discussion, you consult your compass on how to proceed.
(I know we already did a conversation update this week, but if you want to suggest some angles for our sailor to take this talk too, feel free)
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exactly one (1) person asked for my thoughts on jackieâs pov of jackieshauna so me being me i obviously wrote an even longer essay than my shauna essay. so. here you go anon, SORRY or youâre welcome.
we can all agree that if you boil jackie down (um... sorry, too on the nose?) to her bare essentials, what youâre left with is basically a huge pit of insecurity. shauna is incapable of facing other people, but jackie is incapable of facing herself. jackie is incredibly inwardly/emotionally unstable but she doesnât actually realize it because she does such a good job of distracting herself by curating her environment, her image, the people sheâs surrounded by, their image, her hobbies, and on and on and on. she (without fully understanding that this is what sheâs doing) tries to impose order on her outer world in the hopes that that will, by extension, bring order to her inner world.
so, here is my thesis statement: i propose that shauna is both jackieâs biggest source of stability AND her biggest source of instability.
shauna is the only one whoâs always been there for her. itâs so telling that out of all the things jackie couldâve complimented shauna on in that scene (her intellect? her depth as a person? her looks?) she chose this. it shows us what jackieâs priorities are and why she values shauna: shauna is her rock, her best friend and trusty sidekick, sheâs steady and loyal.
thing is, shauna isnât. while shauna saintifies jackie after death and turns her into an  idea/symbol, jackie kinda does the same to shauna in life. she needs shauna to be her rock, and she needs it SO badly, like survival-level badly, that she just canât leave space for shauna to be anything else. this sucks for shauna, because she doesnât feel like jackie truly sees her in all her complexity. but it also sucks for jackie, because she just doesnât realize when things are going downhill - and she doesnât realize that her search for stability in shauna has been doomed to fail from the get-go, because shauna has a mind of her own. Â
and this is when shauna becomes jackieâs biggest source of INstability: when she goes rogue. or, maybe more accurately, when she does what jackie interprets as âgoing rogueâ - aka going against jackieâs carefully laid-out plans, whether or not she truly meant it as a snub. exhibit a: voting to go to the lake instead of stay at the crash site. for a healthy, secure person/relationship this wouldâve been a simple difference of opinion. but for jackieshauna it drove a wedge between them for an entire day or possibly more, because by defying jackie, shauna destabilizes jackieâs very, VERY tenuous grip on the TINY amount of control she feels like she has over her world.
this control is EVERYTHING to jackie because itâs the only thing that can alleviate her internal turbulence. and she is DESPERATE for her fix, so she reaches, grasps, searches for the stability that she needs, that she only knows how to find in shauna, and it always seems to be just out of her reach, and of course we know itâs impossible to find internal stability through external things, but jackie thinks if she just stretches a little further and holds on a little tighter, sheâll get what she needs, so she clings onto shauna more and more desperately, not realizing that squeezing so tight could have unwanted side effects.
and just like with shauna - there IS genuine love here! but as much as shauna has warped ideas about what love looks like (and boy does she!), jackie has some messed up ideas about love too! jackie adores shauna, but part of that adoration is tied to how jackie builds shauna up in her own head, and when shauna fails to live up to the role that jackie needs her to play, it sends jackie into a tailspin and she lashes out. and i think jackie thinks that because she loves shauna, she canât possibly be hurting her. itâs not a cage if i make it cozy, right? if i put some blankets down and keep her nice and safe? sheâs not trapped, iâm taking good care of her, sheâs choosing to stay, and if she wanted differently, sheâd say so. (but shauna canât/wonât say so, as we know.)
so. to sum it up. on a good day, shauna keeps jackie afloat, but on a bad day, shauna sends jackie spiraling. jackie needs her so desperately and the tragedy is that she loves shauna so much and sheâs so terrified of losing her that she does everything she can to prevent it, but her desperation blinds her to the fact that, by holding onto shauna so tightly, sheâs contributing to the very situation she hoped to avoid: shauna leaving her.
#yeah i dont know. let me know if i lost the plot here#i might just be projecting my own jackieshauna adjacent experiences onto jackie lol#honestly i thought about this for way too long and kind of want to just get it out of my drafts and into the world#questions comments concerns?#not trying to victim blame jackie btw. but from personal experience sometimes the sad truth is that it just goes like that#you hold on too tight and end up driving them away#yellowjackets
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i just donât understand. why say ur ready to talk if you arenât?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl donât mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said theyâd lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(âit was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which wouldâve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually werenât ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so itâs not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and iâm understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus iâm not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to peopleâs emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict iâm blunt but iâm caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so iâm not saying i donât want to still be her friend#iâm just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them iâm very much not and like. now that iâm on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! iâm not gonna chase her down like theyâre grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space iâm going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. iâm happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they werenât ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when weâll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? iâm feeling like iâm failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man iâm just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not iâm worth#which again. kinda wasnât expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i donât want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isnât any!!!#and i canât deal with that! i canât spend my life with people who arenât going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. iâm gonna stop now lol
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at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/
#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it#bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things#and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance#that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross#but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that#they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable#but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about#which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies#and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety#sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time#i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them#but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this#i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice#ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF#LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM#like maybe YOU live in a bad area#but you're just a really loud minority#anyway. yeah. just. oof.#still feeling some kind of anxiety about it#win rambles
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Are you okay?
Not really :/
Constantly dealing with one traumatic/chaotic event after another
#moms in the hospital again#we are not on good terms at all honestly she was and is a terrible person to me#but its almost always preventable shit#2nd time in a year that I've had to call 911 for her#because she refused to deal with very easily treatable infections before they became life threatening#she now has terminal cancer for the same reason#she was very obviously sick for nearly 2 years before she finally had to be taken to the ER#rn she has multiple infections and brain swelling+potential sepsis (again) because she refused to go to the hospital for the past week or so#its not that she cannot care for herself at all#she is physically and mentally capable of caring for herself in many ways#at least enough to care for herself on a basic level#but she just refuses to do so#the only reason shes been doing chemo for the past 3 years is so she can smoke more cigarettes#she has been smoking 2-3 packs a day for as long as I have been alive#she hasn't slowed down even a little bit#she has talked/asked/argued with me about cigarettes several times since shes been in the hospital (3 days)#she is the worst addict I have ever known and my whole family was/is filled with all different kinds of addicts#pills alcohol heroin pcp meth#anything you can think of someone in my family is addicted to it/has died from it#her addiction to cigarettes is by far the worst out of everyone#worst addict I have ever met#she could be in a house fire and she would use the flames to light a cigarette before thinking about calling 911#If I could leave I would#I have no way out at the moment#I dont make enough to save up because I am financially supporting 2 people and I make too much for social security to help me#i am also completely alone dealing with all of this shit#i have no friends family only involves themselves when its life or death and i haven't even thought about dating#i don't want to even make friends/date rn because i dont want to bring people around any of this it will ruin any budding friendship anyways#its incredibly fucking isolating#just want to be taken care of sometimes too yknow?
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HYPER-SEXUAL (s,jy)
If thereâs anything in life that Jake wants, itâs to fuck. All day, every day, itâs on his mind. He fantasizes constantly, watches porn every free chance he gets, and ultimately has grown bored of his own hand to satiate his need. or the one where jake is inexperienced, incredibly perverted, and borderline addicted to sex but cannot, for the life of him, land a girl.
leave feedback and reblog to give jake another boner.Â
minors do not interact.Â
WORDCOUNTâ 13.8k
PAIRINGâ jake sim x afab reader
CONTENTâ smut, inexperienced but pervy and dominant jake, he kind of has an addiction to jerking off, im not joking like he has a boner every twenty minutes itâs probably a medical issue but, reader is really sex positive and lets jake go absolutely insane on her
NOTEâ not proof read in the way it needed to be. disclaimer: this is straight up just porn. it had a plot at one point but i deleted all of it and wrote this instead. also this is posted on my other blog [@ncteez] for mark lee. yes, i wrote it for both of them bc they both fit the shoe ok? ok.
smut tags under cut::Â
smut tagsâ jake isnât submissiveâ just a loser, loads of masturbation, also loads of loads lmfao, jakeâs dick is 8 inches in this one, public humiliation, dirty talk, teasing, pussy eating / face sitting, mentions of free use, unprotected sex, wayyyy way too much cum, raw grinding, attempts at deep throat, accidental face fucking, finger fucking, suffocation, riding, squirting, implications to the fact that orgasms are not the end of the fic bc they just keep going, some say theyâre still fucking to this day.Â
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âFeels so good! Harder! Fuck m-âÂ
Jake slams his laptop shut in an exasperated sigh. Frustrated, annoyed, fucking horny.Â
Always horny. To the point that nothing excites him anymore. Not his hard-on being palmed at by his own hand, not the make-shift pocket pussy heâs made out of household objects, not the porn on page one or on page seventy-three.Â
Honestly, even as hard as he is now, itâs arguable that he could just start punching his cock and heâd still remain in this state until something changes. And you know what sucks more than not being able to get off? Being hard so constantly that itâs just a state of living at this point.Â
Itâs sad. He could be washing caked ketchup off of a plate and his cock would still lend a little jump. A reminder that his hand is no longer enough. A fucking threat that if he doesnât sink into a pretty hole soon, he might as well just kill himself.Â
The idea doesnât seem too bad anymore, as he lays flat on his back with his cock in hand on his messy sheets. He stares up at the ceiling with another long-winded groan, wondering why he has to have such an insatiable libido and probably twice as much stamina. If he could just get off heâd have at least a little bit of time in his day to feel normal before it takes hold of his brain again.Â
Itâs the fact that heâs grown entirely numb to his own hand and feels like heâs going crazy because he hasnât been able to hook-up with anyone in nearly a year. Porn is boring, he swears heâs seen just about all of the good, bad, and bizarre. Post nut clarity barely exists because there is no clarity by the time he finally gets that hard-to-reach nut. Bad luck, maybe. Awful fucking miserable luck? Thatâs more fitting.Â
For the sake of the girls in this city, perhaps itâs good that he canât manage to land a hook-up. Surely theyâd be unable to walk by the time he gets his fill, that is if he manages to get a fill at all. And itâs gotten to the point that Jake has almost entirely given up on finding a girl at all. One thatâs willing to put up with his near-constant need to get his dick wet, anyway.Â
Almost given up.
A thought crosses his mind as he lazily palms himself with a bored sigh, knowing heâll end up locked up in an asylum somewhere if this doesnât stop. The voice of Jay in his head doing little to make his cock soften, which isâŠnot something Jake is proud to admit.
âDude, you gotta put a stop to this shit. This is your third laptop this year!â Jay had said to him. âItâs only June!â
Maybe Jay was right, and maybe Jake should have downloaded the new app that was mentioned shortly after the scolding rather than immediately going to another, even more, shady porn site. âHeard this one was really good.â Jay had advertised. âEven got Jungwon laid.âÂ
Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try another app despite the immense amount of failure Jake has already faced regarding previous attempts with other platforms. After all, if it got Jungwon laid, surely it could get him laid too.Â
Maybe this one really is better.
And at the end of the day, Jake does download the app. After all, creating a profile is easy, finding a girl though?Â
Weâll see.
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Ah. Okay. Nice.
Jake stays glued to his phone all night. He really had no hope that this app would offer him anything more than what the others did. But, oh.Â
The app allows specific features, most of which are not aimed towards users looking for a relationship. Dick and body sizes are out in the open, thereâs sections you can fill out regarding what youâre looking for in a sexual partner, how often youâre willing to see said partner, and if youâre looking for a regular fuck or a one time fuck.Â
Safe to say, Jakeâs profile went a little something like this:Â
you can call me jake, im 24. just looking for a girl either for regular visits or a one night stand thatâs willing to deal with a guy who literally suffers from chronic-boner syndrome.
LOOKING FOR: Female PREFERENCE: One Time Only, Occasional Meetups, On-call, Regular meetups, Permanent Friends-With-Benefits, Secret Meet, Virtual Meet, Audio Meet, Rebound CâŠ[Click to see more] PARTNER REQUIREMENTS: N/A SIZE REFERENCE: 8 Âœâ hard, 4â soft, 5.6â circumference SEXUAL INTERESTS: Vanilla, Free Use, BDSM, Begging, Breeding, Dom/Sub, Dominatrix, CBT, Role Play, Public Humiliation, Edging, Spanking, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, Virtual Sex, Group Sex, Humiliation, Cock Play, Cum Dump, Religion, Raw, Multiple Orgasms, Androgyny, Genital Piercings, Older Women, Body Art, Wax, Anal, Financial Domina...[Click to see more]
NOT INTERESTED IN: Cuckolding, Voyeurism OTHER: im not very experienced in most of these, i just watch a lot of porn
Embarrassing? Yeah, probably.Â
Looks like a lot of women are into that though if his inbox is anything to go by, anyway. With him checking the app every few minutes to find ten new messages? Yeah, theyâre feeling him.Â
He can only imagine what the fuck Jungwon had on his profile to actually land a hook-up. Couldnât have been any worse than his own, after all, Jake is desperate and so was Jungwon at one point.Â
Apparently girls like desperate guys.Â
Message after message, degrading comments and praise, all from either women clad in leather or sweet looking church girls who must have the app hidden deep within their phones. Thereâs barely anyone in between those two categories, actually.Â
âHi baby boy, you looking for a sugar mama?âÂ
âur dick really that big? lol, what do you even mean by âchronic boner syndromeâ?âÂ
âyouâre so desperate to get laid, might as well just doxx yourself at this pointâŠplease.â
Arguably, these women are very forward and he has a great time sifting through the ones heâs interested in. Scrolling through all of these messagesâŠ.does not help his case regarding his insatiable need to fuck something either so, naturally, heâs also 100% jerking off the entire time heâs doing this.
Still, never quite able to reach the orgasm he needs by this point.
Up until thereâs a message that catches his attention. No degrading, no insults, no borderline-too-kinky insinuations. Which, given, Jake probably shouldnât have selected the majority of the kinks just to pull more girls, but he did.Â
And upon reading the message, he almost doesnât know if this girl is real.Â
âHigh libido, no girls around to help you out, I take it? Rough.â
One look at her profile spikes even more interest. Her sexual interests include a list of things he wishes he didnât fit. But he does, though heâd never admit it. Inexperienced men, losers, virgins, micro-penis, big penis, praise (receiving), body worshipâ
Oh.
Fuck yeah.
He responds quickly, already feeling the orgasm within him bubble up as he tries to pretend he doesnât go on a war path of responding to everyone after you, but still. Your message box with him remains in his mind as he awaits the response to his message of âyou looking to help me out?âÂ
Every ping on his phone afterwards makes his cock twitch more, makes it dribble out little beads of pre-cum with each pass of his palm, only for him to sigh out of frustration that itâs just another person that wants to devour him whole. Which, heâll take what he can get if his first choice never responds but still. He wants to get off to you.
He finds himself on your profile more often than anyone elseâs too, looking at the same three photos youâve posted, noting how you donât seem super active on the app, but active enough to find him by some beautiful grace of God.Â
Youâre kind of perfect, honestly. Fairly mundane compared to most of the women in his inbox, but cool nonetheless. He can tell you have an eye for fashion but it seems to be more geared towards your real life self rather than the secret fetish/kink app youâve got downloaded.
And thatâs the thing. Most of these women, beautiful or not, are dressed in their best sexual attire just to message a possible fuck, while during their daily lives they probably wear conservative dresses and pant suits. WhichâŠ.arguably thatâs kind of hot. Then again, what isnât hot to him these days?
You though. You have normal pictures posted just like he does. Your tits arenât out, your legs arenât open, you donât have a pile of sex toys behind or beside you and yet still your pictures turn him on more than those who do. Insane how his cock twitches at just these three photos, fucking insane how he grows a near instant obsessed thinking about how youâŠuh, deal with the losers you seem to be looking for. Â
Then again, maybe itâs the mystery of whatâs under your clothes, or whatâs in your stash of sex toys. Oh, whatever youâre hiding has got be so fucking hot. Naturally, he groans at the amount of sexuality you barely give. Thinking far, far too hard about it all, given the circumstances.Â
Donât get him wrong, he can get down with the hoes. In fact, he very much wants to get down with a hoe. But man, the way you stand out because youâre somehowâŠ.boring compared to everyone else?
Please.
Fucking pretty please, let him in between those thighs.Â
And just as he scrolls again through your photos, that long-awaited orgasm hits him like a brick.
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A mere two days later you find yourself in the inbox with the self-proclaimed boner-god. Heâs since proven his size with photos involving different objects beside said penis, and even a video or two of his frantic hands jerking off to you.Â
Ah, heâs kind of perfect if you think about it. At first you thought that it was just roleplay for him or something. Where he plays a guy who canât get enough, though he clearly probably does. It wasnât until you were woken up at four in the morning with him spamming your inbox that you suddenly realized this dude is actually as desperate as he seems.Â
Normally, being spammed awake by your phone pinging consistently would bother you. But goddamn was he needing it. Just three hours before now it was mostly casual conversation with him, albeit about hooking-up, but still. The two of you agreed to determine on the following day if you were compatible enough for a meet up. He said goodnight to you, and you said it back.Â
Then you woke up to three dick pics, one voice note with a borderline pathetic apology (only because you could still hear him going at it), and then like fourteen messages of him trying to wake you up intentionally.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: You awake?
Dick pic #1.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Youâre so pretty, sorry lol
Dick pic #2Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message:Â Wake uppppppppppp!Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message:Â Please? :(
Dick pic #3, precum smeared across his fingers as he grips it.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message:Â Do you already have me silenced?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: Iâd let you silence me hahahaâŠ.
JAKE_02 sent you a voice memo: âSorry about all this, I really meant it when I said I have a problem. You should probably just block me because Iâm going to end up begging to see you otherwiseâ
Oh, he has an accent.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: your profile says you like inexperienceâŠ..well iâve only slept with like 3 girls, is that inexperienced enough?
JAKE_02 sent you a message: do you like to tease guys like that? like edge them and stuff?Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: oh damn, thatâd be so hotÂ
JAKE_02 sent you a message: do you like it when guys beg btw?Â
Etcetera.Â
And, well, apparently he just has a lot to say. Itâs cute how embarrassed he must feel basically getting himself off with a one-sided sext session with you as you were sleeping. At least, you hope heâs embarrassed.Â
You let his messages simmer for a while, waiting to see if he sends anything else. And when he doesnât, you respond.Â
YOURUSERNAME: that was cute.Â
Itâs the way heâs instantly trying to respond that really gets you going. You chuckle first, knowing already that youâd probably help him out based on this situation alone.Â
YOURUSERNAME: trying to wake me up because you canât stop touching yourself? :( poor baby.Â
JAKE_02: oh god please donât say that
JAKE_02: im gonna end up awake all night trying to get it to go down again
YOURUSERNAME: thatâs good to hear. so you can go for a long time then?Â
Yes, youâre teasing him.Â
JAKE_02: if youâd let me
YOURUSERNAME: you already got off tonight tho, didnât you?
JAKE_02: i donât think you understand just how bad it is. iâm already getting my dick out again
You lend yourself a sly chuckle after a deep yawn, knowing for a fact that youâre about to make him prove to you that heâs either still hard or really did get off only to get hard again by a mere few messages from you.Â
YOURUSERNAME: show me?
And he does. Similar to the other three photos, only this time he sends a short video with his shorts pushed down his thighs and his cock raging hard and pathetic against his stomach. Again, heâs big, that much is true, but the fact that such a dick is always ready to fuck? To the point heâs desperate? To the point heâs embarrassing about it?
YOURUSERNAME: how bad do you wanna bury that in me?
Oh, shit. Jake could fucking die right now. You seem so willing, which is truly what he needs at this point in his sexual sickness. Â
JAKE_02: iâll come over right now.Â
JAKE_02: let me come over and show you
YOURUSERNAME: letâs wait a bit for that, gotta meet officially before I let you fuck me
And you do intend to make him wait, knowing for a fact that youâre not meeting this guy tonight. Thereâs too much danger in that. Given how desperate he actually is, you can argue that if you changed your mind upon meeting, he very well may not care. Which, thatâs something you need to worry about with any person you meet on such an app, but still.
Public meeting first.Â
Always.
JAKE_02: right, right, that makes sense.Â
JAKE_02: so can i see your pussy then
You stifle a laugh as if the man can hear you, heâd probably like that though. But yeah, no. As much as you know heâd enjoy that, itâs best to let him experience it for the first time in real life if all of this goes well. So, you settle with tits.Â
Meaning, he has to settle with them too.Â
And the photo is all but enough for Jake. The ping of his phone was far too exciting with the flash of the image sinking into his eyes. Sure, he wanted to see your hole open for him, he wanted to see your pretty hands spreading your lips for the picture, he wanted to see what he might get to fuck into somedayâ butâŠ
This is good enough for him, honestly. Seeing your tits alone is hot enough, but itâs the fact that you only barely let him see. The plush skin of your lower breasts are peeking from under the shirt you're wearing, one nipple barely out, the other completely hidden.Â
He moans out at it, holding his cock tight and painfully as he glares into the screen of his phone. God, he can almost taste it.Â
JAKE_02: thats so hotâŠbutâŠ.
JAKE_02: pussyâŠ.
JAKE_02: please show me your pussy
Another chuckle at how desperate he really is. You lower your phone just a bit, not at all intending to show him all of it but you do lend a panty shot with your legs spread. Heâll live with it, he doesnât have a choice.Â
And he does live with it because he cums almost instantly upon seeing just your thighs open. He wouldnât have been able to hit climax so quickly had you already had this photo posted for all to see. Itâs the fact that you sent it to him in the dms. Itâs the fact that you presumably just took it for him. Itâs the fact that he can almost see the outline of your folds, and the lines of your pussy that deserves to fucked open.Â
When he doesnât respond immediately, you know it was enough for him. Already youâre preparing to roll back over and get some more sleep, but your phone dings again.Â
JAKE_02: tht was hot lolâŠ.um
JAKE_02: can u come to the mall tomorrow? i work at [redacted store name], u can come see that im actually very normal if u want
You stop for a second through another yawn, thinking long and hard about it. You shrug to yourself because tomorrow is a saturday and thereâs plenty of public spaces to meet him in. And despite how fun it could be to tease him for weeks on end before officially meeting him, you, yourself, have been in a dry-spell lately.Â
And he fits your interests perfectly. In other words, yeah, you could fuck.
YOURUSERNAME: you sure youâre not gonna take me in the back and fuck me on the spot?Â
JAKE_02: âŠ.would u want me to?Â
YOURUSERNAME: no, i wanna bring you home if i think you could make me feel good
JAKE_02: hahah damn
JAKE_02: so youâll come see me?
YOURUSERNAME: yeah, iâll come see you
JAKE_02: ok cool :)
And then itâs silent for a long while. In fact, youâre nearly asleep again when your phone pings one last time. All you need to see is the notification to know that meeting Jake is gonna be fun.Â
JAKE_02 sent you a message: for the recordâŠi definitely will fuck you good
Sounds promising.Â
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You knew he was cute but holy shit, heâs like, cute cute.
Fucking handsome and charmingly cute.Â
Perhaps even, hot.Â
You stand from around a shelf to check him out. That same accent youâve heard previously rings loud and clear in your head, and his hair is definitely a stylistic mess, the type of hair you can imagine grabbing and tugging to guide a tongue between your legs. His eyes are pretty and piercing yet equally as filled with some sort of wonder. His hands, his body.
 Oh wow.Â
On any other day, youâd think heâs just some poser emo-guy working a shitty retail job so he can buy his first guitar and play it totally out of tune. But on this day, youâre aware that this is a man with a need that you very much wouldnât mind satisfying.Â
 Seeing him go about his work tasks behind the counter is another thing. Checking customers out both through the register and with his eyes when they walk away. You know he isnât aware that youâve actually shown up, and it feels nice to watch him in his element before he attempts to play himself up as a totally normal, cool dude. Especially now that you can see him secretly be a pervert on the clock.Â
Customer after customer, he smiles at them when he hands them their items, he offers small talk and little chuckles that ring in your ears, and every single time one of the pretty ones walks away, his head turns to watch them leave for a few seconds too long.
Anyone can tell he needs it if they watch him for long enough.Â
Youâre not sure why this guy is getting to you the way he is, but thereâs just something about the way that he carries himself in public that turns you on. You already know for a fact that heâs a horny motherfucker. You know that behind those charming smiles and laughs, heâs got a neglected cock needing to be used.Â
No one else in this store is aware of it. Youâre the only person here who knows he was spamming a stranger last night with dick pics and begging to see her pussy.Â
Itâs hot.Â
And when you approach, Jake nearly doesnât even know itâs you at first.Â
âHi, did you find everything youââ Jake stops mid sentence. âOh, fuck. Youâre here.â He adds, trying to primp his hair into a spot that may look a little better than it did already.
You watch as he studies you for the first time, nervously darting his tongue out and against his bottom lip just for a split second before shifting his eyes behind you, and then turning to look around to see if anyone is within ear shot.Â
No one is paying attention to either of you, and no one is going to hear what youâre about to say to him. Good.
âDo you wanna see my pussy?âÂ
Itâs a joke, mostly. Kinda.Â
You chuckle at his stunned reaction. His hands move to the counter as he clutches it and continuously looks around to make sure no one just heard those lewd ass words from a girl so goddamn hot. Like, oh god, itâs you. You really showed up to see him and already heâs not acting normal.Â
No, no. Youâre the one acting out of pocket, not him.
âIâmââ He tries to start, but his voice cracks in a very, very, embarrassing way. You hear him clear his throat before continuing. âIâm supposed to be showing you that Iâm normal.âÂ
You tilt your head at him playfully, leaning against the counter and pushing your tits together with your arms. You wore this shirt here for a reason, and boy are you glad you did. You watch his eyes go straight to your chest and stay there.Â
âPublic Humiliation.â You echo one of his sexual interests to him from his app profile. âDirty talk.â
Jake swallows around his words in stunned silence, feeling his cock wake up immediately. Fuck, this is the only place he finds peace of mind fromâŠthat. Yet here you are, with that soft and pretty voice reminding him of everything he wants but hasnât been able to have. Standing there like you know he canât bend you over right now and make you stop talking.
âEight and a half inches hard.â You continue, leaning in even closer and moving your hand to the collar of your shirt. Tugging down just a little bit. âFive point six inch circumference.âÂ
Jake squeezes his eyes shut as he leans back with a sigh, pressing his hips against the counter for some sort of relief. To think the âboringâ girl on the app wouldnât be like this? God, he knew there had to be a catch considering you were on that app to find him in the first place.Â
âPleaseââ He groans as his ears redden, lazily opening his eyes to look at your tits again. âPlease donât do this to me.âÂ
âI can imagine youâd fit it in me just right, wouldnât you Jake?â You continue briefly, noting the bulge he blatantly presses against the counter. âCan you say âpleaseâ again? Itâs kinda hot.âÂ
âPleaseââ Jake blatantly groans now, his voice sounding hoarse and low. As much as he wants you to keep going, heâs at fucking work. He canât be doing this.Â
âOkay!â You gleefully agree as you switch up like you didnât just fuck him up, lending him a bright and innocent smile as you lean back and away from him. âSo you donât want to see my pussy then?â
His relieved face falls right back into that of pained frustration as he narrows his eyes at you.Â
âRight now?â He asks curiously, nodding his head without realizing it. Sure, heâs at work but likeâŠ.your pussy is also at his work place right now.
âYeah! Can you show me to the fitting room, actually?â You ask, louder this time in case anyone has moved around within ear-shot by now. Canât make him lose his job, or whatever.
Jake swallows thickly with a nod, his eyes still narrowed at you but his mind racing a mile a minute at the fact that youâre really here right now, and this is what youâre doing to him? Enjoying his pain? Enjoying his suffering? Making it worse?Â
Five minutes ago he was perfectly fine. Youâre using his need against him and god, he loves it. Yeah, maybe he will take you to the back and try to fuck you at this point. Even if you said that you wouldnât let himâŠwhat the fuck is this then?Â
Really, he expected you to show up with an awkward hello and irritating small talk. He wanted to show you that heâs not always thinking about sex. Except he is, and it seems you want him to. You want him to think about fucking you.Â
You really just walked into this establishment and asked him if he wants to see your pussy.
Of course he wants to see it. You already fucking know that. He wants to fuck it too, like, right now.Â
And as he walks you to the fitting room, he has to try his damndest to adjust his growing cock. He nods to each customer as he walks by them, hands repeatedly going back to his lap to hide what heâs packing.
âHere it is.â Jake says in an unfocused voice, nearly staring a hole through you. âNow show me.âÂ
You dip your head in a smile, heading for the room and opening the curtain. Cheap ass store, really, most places have actual doors, but whatever.Â
Itâs easy to step inside and leave the curtain skewed a bit, knowing that Jake is hovering around the room, knowing that itâs probably protocol that an employee assist this space when itâs in use to prevent stealing and to prevent others from walking in on naked customers.Â
You like the way you see him take peeks, trying to be discreet. You like the way he keeps his hands in front of his lap, hiding that youâve definitely made him a mess of him already. You love the way he whispers a curse to himself when you sit against the bench in this small room and spread your legs wide open.Â
You bet he loves the skirt youâre wearing for him today too. Though this wasnât exactly planned or anything, you didnât expect to be this turned on upon seeing him act as desperate as he sounds. You wore this shirt so he can look, and the skirt tooâŠbut looking this much wasnât in your mind originally.Â
Heâs hot though. The way he needs it is hot.Â
âHurry up.â He groans, trying to make it seem like heâs frustrated but you know itâs just because heâs anxiously horny.Â
And, well, youâre not actually gonna show him your pussy, but at this point you feel bad because he seems really stiff right now, almost robotic in the way he likely feels uncomfortably aroused in his least favorite place. Â
âJake,â You whisper-chuckle. âIf you wanna see it, youâre gonna have to come in here and take my panties off of me.â
You hear him sigh, and see his eyes flick back to you through the small open space in the curtain.Â
âYouâre insane. I canât come in there, Iâll lose my job.â He argues with a hushed tone, eyes fixated on the very panties he wishes he could remove.Â
Even against his protests though, he reaches an arm in as he looks away. As if on extreme watch of other customers and employees roaming around. Probably pretending to grab a garment that doesnât work for you, probably just doing normal, good-employee things.Â
And, well, itâs pathetic really, the way he hopes for more. The way you offer more knowing he canât get exactly what he wants. You actually feel a bit bad for doing this, especially because it wasnât entirely in the plan.Â
You really were just coming to meet him. Itâs not your fault that watching him work turned you on solely because you know what he needs. So, you stand and walk towards the curtain, grabbing his arm and holding it in place.Â
âWellââ You start, pressing yourself against the backside of his fingers, feeling him move his hand slightly against your clit. âTouch it then.â
He goes entirely silent but you feel the way he fumbles his hand, immediately grabbing your panties and moving them to the side just to really feel. And you let him, finding it somehow cuter in the way he doesnât even ask. He does it like he needs to, like itâs instinctual to touch it. He feels for a second or two, probably closer to about five seconds before you step back. Really, itâs enough for him to know youâre wet, enough for him to suffer, enough for him to want more.Â
Jakeâs brain is on fire at it. Touching it before getting to see it? Goddamn, youâre so fucking mean.
And itâs silent for a few more moments after that as Jake keeps his hand in place, seemingly searching for a pussy just out of reach when you slide the fabric down your legs and place them directly into his hand.Â
âWhen do you get off work?â You ask slyly now, ripping the curtain open and moving his hand for him, forcing him to shove your panties in his pocket.Â
âUhââ He stutters, swallowing again around his words before clearing his throat of the moan he really needs to let out right now. âSevenâ I get off at seven.â
You nod with a smile, leaning in real close before patting his pocket.Â
âIâll text you my address.âÂ
And you leave without sparing him another glance, knowing that by the time his shift is over, heâll probably pounce the second you open your door for him.Â
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Jake suffers through the rest of his shift aggressively trying not to suck on his fingers. Fuck, he wants to taste you so bad, but to go as low as sucking the remnants for several hours just to hold him over? Truly, heâs at his wits end.Â
Mostly because he absolutely does suck his fingers any chance he gets. Tapping his lips with them as he sees a customer off, licking against them discreetly, trying to make it look normal for him to have his fingers in his mouth so consistently.Â
Itâs not doing anything to hold him over though.Â
He keeps glancing at the clock, and then at the message that reads your address. Just one more hour and he can leave. Just one more hour and he can bury his cock so deep into you that youâd never think twice about letting him do it again, and again, and again.
Oh god, really, he feels like heâs going insane as he checks out customer after customer. Every word they say somehow reminds him that heâs about to finally get laid again.Â
âCan you wrap this up for me?â One customer said to him, nodding to a set of candles.Â
Jake wishes youâd wrap him up in that pussy.Â
âDo you have this in a bigger size?â Another customer had said to him as they held up a plush sweater.Â
Jake doesnât think youâd ever need a dick bigger than his. Heâll fill you up just right.Â
â69.99?!â One customer argues. âThe sign said it was 30% off!âÂ
Jake would sixty nine you all night long if you asked. He bets you taste sweet, you probably get really wet too.Â
And by the end of the night, rain pounding on the roof, his last customer unfortunately has to hear a low groan leave his throat at their comments. Heâs very quick to cover it with a cough.Â
âSorry for coming in right before you close, the rain is bad tonight and I forgot my umbrella, thank god you guys sell them! I didnât mean to drip all over the floor like this, I hope you donât have to stay late cleaning up my mess!âÂ
âI didnât mean to drip all over your floor like thisâ Replays in his head, over and over again. God, heâd make you drip. He hopes you drip all over the floor for him. Heâd get on his knees and lick it right up, god.
He needs to leave. Right now.
âSâall good,â Jake shakes his head after the initial moan and cough cover, trying to remain casual. âItâs my job to clean it up, after all.â He smiles, his brain stuck on the feeling of how wet you were when he touched you. Shiiiit. âHave a good night, stay dry!âÂ
And finally, Jake can close out his register and lock the doors. That, he does. Performing his end-of-night tasks at lightning speed with a cock throbbing so bad that he worries he might have to get off in his car before making it to your apartment. He genuinely needs to get off, especially knowing these pretty panties are in his pocket ready to be soaked in his cum.Â
He doesnât though, no. He holds off, thrusting his hips up and against the inseam of his pants with every passing second as he drives. Heâs practically writhing by the time he gets to your place. Honestly, he moans with each movement because heâs sensitive. Itâs so, so fucking sensitive. Everything feels good, he could genuinely cum the second you open your door if heâs not careful.Â
Careful isnât something Jake can be at this moment though, not when he lands a single knock at your door and youâre immediately opening it, looking at him with that same fucking evil smile you gave to him while he was at work.Â
He looks at you and instantly lets out a frustrated moan before stepping in without another word. You feel his hands grab you much harsher than you originally thought he would, but you let him as you laugh out in a nervous chuckle.Â
âHello to you too.â You pat him on the back as his arms wrap around your middle. You hear him kick back against your door, slamming it shut before his lips hit your neck.Â
He isnât talking but goddamn you can hear what he needs to say through the way he presses his lips against you. Heâs rough with it, kissing all across your exposed skin before slipping his hand right between your legs from the back as if he doesnât have to chase anymore.Â
You were going to jerk your hips back to make him chase, but his grip is too tight and heâs nearly lifting you off the floor entirely to get a feel. You were going to force him to look at you and the outfit you changed into for him, but again, heâs not having it, it seems. He moans when he moves his lips up and against yours, hot breath desperate and needy as he finally speaks.
âDid it turn you on to torture me like that?â He nearly growls against your lips. âGot me so fucking hard.âÂ
Youâre genuinely surprised with how heâs acting and talking. Then again, heâs desperate, that much is obvious if that monster bulge rubbing against your leg is anything to go by. Perhaps he may be desperate, but you guess that doesnât always mean someone will end up submissive as a side effect.Â
âIt did.â You smile against his lips, pushing yourself forward to try and plant your feet back on the ground, chasing the ability to gain control over him. âDid you like that?â
Jake nods before shaking his head, allowing you to push forward, loving the way your hands reach for him and run through his hair before tugging. He did like what you did, but it doesnât change the fact that it was fucking torture to stand there at work like he wasnât losing his mind.Â
âIâd like it more if we skip all the bullshit,â He starts, hand still attempting to reach the spot between your legs and lips landing at the corner of your mouth. âCould go all night.â
You nod to him, gripping his shirt and pulling him back to your living room couch and spinning him around, only to shove him back.Â
âIs that a promise?â You ask, looking at the lazy way he spreads his own legs and rests his head against your couch cushions, eyes staring straight at you and cock twitching in his pants. âYou gonna fuck me all night?â
âYeahââ He breathes as if heâs in disbelief, hand reaching between his legs just to grab himself and squeeze as his eyes trail your body. âYou have no idea how bad I need this.â
âShow me then,â You nod your head to his length thatâs hidden under his pants. âLet me watch you first.â
Jake groans, rolling his eyes back both out of frustration and arousal, but he does as you say. His palm feels better with you watching, at least. He doesnât feel so numb to the pleasure with you promising your body to him, at least. He doesnât mind proving his size to you by shoving his pants down to his thighs and presenting said neglected cock to you either.Â
Itâs heavy, dark in color due to the blood thatâs likely rushing throughout every inch of it. He feels sensitive to even the air in your living room as he twitches and aches to hear you talk again, to see you in front of him watching how he pleasures himself, wishing his hand is yours.Â
âYou wanna watch?â He says in a low-rumbled voice, tracing his fingers along the head of his cock and seething out a breath through his now, bitten bottom lip. âWanna know how tight I want you to feel?â He asks now, bold and in the heat of the moment. You watch him when he squeezes the base of his cock tightly, you can almost feel yourself choke at that alone.Â
âHow wet you need to be to take it?â He continues, dragging his hand back and licking his palm before spitting into it.Â
The wetness against his hand is horrifyingly pornographic. So wet when he reaches back down to his length, allowing you to hear it squelch and slip with ease. His breath is hitched while he does it too, which nearly has you seeing him in tunnel vision.
âYeahâŠâ You tune into him entirely, swallowing around the lump in your throat and feeling yourself drip already. âI canât imagine how goodââ You cut yourself short to moan at the way his other hand holds his pants down while he jerks his hand up faster and faster. âOh god, youâreââ
âWanna see how fast I can cum just looking at you?â He continues, hand only moving faster and faster as his grip tightens more, shamelessly grunting proudly over how he could probably cum now if he wanted to. âI told you, I can go all night.â
You pause, because goddamn. You thought he would be embarrassing, pathetic, needy. You thought he would beg, plead, and cry. ButâŠyou feel like youâre the one who needs to do that. God, youâve never seen a man so desperate to fuck yet be so powerful about it. As if heâs in your face whispering, âYouâre gonna let me fuck you, right? Youâre gonna love it too, right? Youâre gonna let me use you to take care of this little problem of mine, right? Itâs what you want, right?â
If he were to say those things to you right now, youâd nod without a doubt. ButâŠhe doesnât. He simply looks at you now, heaving out broken moans that sound too sexy to be considered pathetic. His hips chase each movement of his hand and goddamn does he fuck his fist hard.
Your mind is spinning watching him, knowing that heâs probably going to fuck you twice as hard as he fucks himself. And itâs not surprising to you at least that you can feel your own clit swell and throb for touch too. You easily move your hand between your legs, standing right there in front of him, toying with yourself as if you donât have the power to ask him to do it for you.Â
âAh, fuckââ Jake groans, thrusting his hips up into his hand one last time before strings of his cum make a mess on his shirt. And it seems to go on forever too, spurt after spurt of it pumping out of him alongside his pretty moans and open-mouthed expression. You can feel your body react to him more than it ever has for anyone else, especially in the wayâŠ.
âGodââ You moan yourself now, watching him spread his legs and slouch more against your couch with a relieved sigh from his messy orgasm. ButâŠhis cock doesnât soften. No, it stays stiff and heavy against his stomach, twitching and dribbling more and more of his cum out in little beads.Â
The proof of his issue is right here, he really can and probably will go all night. And you say nothing else to him after that. In fact, he wouldnât be able to answer you if you did say something simply because you find yourself stepping up onto your own couch, resting your knees against the back of it, and gripping his hair.Â
Jake lets out a half-moan-half-hum, as expected, when he feels your hand drag his face under your skirt. You didnât have to do that, but goddamn does he fucking love it. He loves how he can feel your knees buckle and force you to balance on the couch, loves how your cunt is just as needy as he feels, fucking adores the way you drip all over his tongue when he pushes your panties to the side and starts licking you up.Â
Itâs the fact that he didnât even have to ask you to put it in his face. The slight taste against his fingers all night at work is nothing compared to the way you drown him now. He needs to do this for you. Hell, he needs to do this for himself.
âJesus,â You breathe, rolling your hips on his mouth. Heâs truly eating you like his life depends on it. You can hear his muffled hums at the taste, you can feel his shoulder shake as he starts jerking off again, you can feel the way his tongue goes deeper and deeper, licking each clench of your walls, only to pull back and suck the wet from your panties in a deep breath.Â
He coos at it too, as if heâs in love with the moment, as if he truly canât believe heâs finally got a pussy to lick. And he swallows each mouth full of your slick before muttering curses and promises against your swollen little bud.Â
âPlease,â He moans, nipping and licking against you. âBeen so long since Iâve eaten pussy, rub it on me- fuck-â he continues to babble, heat-of-the-moment-talk coming out as far more arousing than cringe if you listen hard through your ringing ears. âCome on,â He continues, now neglecting his own cock and gripping your ass with both hands, shoving you back and forth on his face in painfully slow and harsh grinds. âCome on, harder.â
As if you can function at all right now with how rough he is about trying to pleasure you? Fucking hell, the words ignite something in you as you pull back and away from him. For a split second, you see his blown out pupils and fucked up hair as he licks his lips and presents that shining lower-half of his face to you.Â
You donât look for long though, no. Because youâre too busy pushing him to the side and forcing him to lay back on the couch instead. You resume your position afterwards, straddling the couch on either side of his head with your knees and planting your pulsing cunt right on his eager tongue.Â
âYouâre too hot,â You moan, feeling his hands go straight back to your ass to force more of those harsh grinds against him. âIf you could see yourself right nowââ Your eyes roll back in pleasure as you feel his moaned out chuckle hit you right in the clit. Itâs like he knows he makes you feel good, but does he really?Â
Does he truly understand how fucking good at this he is?
 âGod, if you could feel how good your tongue isââ You continue, now losing yourself in the heat of the moment, feeling his fingers nearly bruise your ass with the death-grip he has on you.Â
He nods his head in what little space he has as he spirals into heaven behind his eyes. The smell of you suffocates him, the taste of you drowns him, the weight of you is nothing short of sexy as hell. This is all he could ever want. A pretty girl using and abusing his face, much like he wants to do to you. But oh, thereâs so, so much he wants to do after so long of having no one but himself.Â
Eat you out, finger fuck you, slide his cock down that pretty little moaning throat of yours, grip that hair and kiss those tits. God, he wants to do everything right now but he canât bear to push this perfect clit off of his lips. He cannot fathom losing the taste of you and the way you clench around the tip of his tongue.Â
Oh fuck.
âAhh- '' Jake moans open-mouthed against your clit as his brain hits a wall, his cock standing stiff from behind you as he spills out against himself again. Untouched completely, he cums without any effort where as previously it took him hours just to get off because heâd grown so fucking bored of everything.Â
Youâve ignited him. His drive is higher than itâs ever been after being neglected for so long. God, he wants to fuck you so full that you canât bear to leave him.Â
âFuckââ He continues, trying to lend licks between his jerking body to keep your arousal peaked. âSee how bad I need it?âÂ
He finally manages to pull back, feeling you lift from his face just for a moment after noting the way his entire body is shaking. Heâs not having it though, as he cranes his neck in chase of your dripping hole once more.
âWhere do you think youâre going?â He adds now, enveloping his lips around your clit again and using both hands to force you right back down on his face.Â
There, you feel the way he almost passionately makes out with your pussy. As if heâs thanking you for a second orgasm within the past ten minutes. As if he truly canât stop wanting to fuck something, someone, anything at all.
Goddamn, what a fucking deal. All hail the hook-up app that brought this insatiable sex beast to your apartment.
âJakeââ You start, grinding down for him and feeling his hands now move to rub up and down your back. âKeep your tongue in me.â You choke out, gripping his hair to hold his face in place as you sit his tongue inside of you, short and jerky thrusts forward to bump your clit against his nose.Â
Heâs gotten off twice now, itâs your turn.Â
And you watch as he drops his arms from you and grips your outer legs through it, letting you use his face until he canât breathe. Both of you are seeing stars through it, your orgasm bubbling up so quickly that you can barely warn him when your hips halt in a stiffened clench and heâs finishing the job for you.Â
Your legs squeeze around his head, your fingers pull his hair, and still he manages to find the space to tilt his chin up just to tongue-fuck you deeper, just to rub his nose harshly against your clit, up until he feels your quivering pussy spill all over his chin, down his throat, stealing any breath or moan he could possibly give right now.Â
Youâre out of breath by the time you finally slide off of his face, your hands immediately shooting to both of his cheeks as your sensitive clit drags down his stomach for the easy position change. You wince when you lick against his lips at the sensitivity, being sure to seat yourself right against his cock.Â
âHahââ Jake lends a breathy laugh against the way you lick his lips, his hands going right back to your ass and landing a sharp slap to it. âCouldnât even get our clothes off first.â
You take a second to pull back and look at him, noting the redness against his cheeks and nose, likely from your panties consistently getting in his way and then you chuckle back at him. Youâre thankful for the short break the two of you seem to be taking at the moment. Still, you lift up from him just to remove your shirt, exposing your tits in an instant solely because you didnât wear a bra for this exact purpose.Â
Heâs still hard, despite two orgasms. You feel him rubbing it against you every few seconds, right up against your saliva and cum-soaked panties which, mind you, are insanely uncomfortable right now. It feels as if theyâre slicing through your thigh with the force of how Jake managed to keep them shoved out of his way.Â
âJust lay back,â You smile at him, allowing him a longer rest for now as you take it upon yourself to remove the barriers. âLet me take care of you now.â
Jake has hearts in his eyes as he watches you. Normally, a girl would already be falling asleep after all that, leaving him with not enough orgasms and no actual fucking. Itâs not his fault he could do foreplay for upwards of three to four hours before going for the finale. Which, arguably, can and will last several hours longer.Â
Still, you appear to not be finished either, with your breathless smile and gentle hands. He bites his bottom lip through a smirk as he watches you, tits on full display to keep him satiated for now as you move around on the couch to get his pants off of him. He helps a bit with a little kick, his cock still so sensitive and pathetically weeping for more. He feels lucky to have found you, almost baffled that he may have met his match.Â
You lend several glances at his cock, not quite realizing the way heâs blinking at you right now. To be fair, itâs only natural to have your attention on that thing right now. You swallow around your nervousness regarding the size but equally want him to fuck you senseless with it. You already feel entirely fucked out, butâŠthat. Oh, that could change your life, probably. You can imagine he wonât be as gentle as you expected before all of this too. Would probably shove it in all in one go and lose his mind at the feeling.Â
Heâs probably going to split you open and make it feel good for you too. Somehow.Â
Anyway, enough of that. Youâve still got to get his shirt off, your uncomfortable skirt and panties too.Â
You make quick work of it, as you stand to your feet and expose yourself entirely to him. Jake just watches, humming and moaning at each new expanse of skin you show to him. He keeps his hands to himself though, likely so used to feeling of them that theyâd bring no pleasure at this moment if he were to jerk off to you doing this. And you justâŠlook right back at him.
âCome on,â You smile at him again, lending your hand out for him to grab. âBedroom will be more comfortable.â
Right. Bedrooms exist.
Jake follows, cock heavy and sensitive against his thigh with each step as he tries to get up close behind you. His eyes stay on your ass as you walk in front of him, and itâs not hard for him to keep his hands on it. In fact, heâs touching you as often as he can, trying to remind himself that heâs with someone right now who actually wants him.Â
You seem to be willing to let him do what he needs tonight, and hopefully it wonât be the only time.Â
You feel him on you, clinging so closely, hands constantly groping, lips always trying to reach the back of your neck and shoulders, to the point itâs actually difficult to get to your bedroom because you want nothing more than to turn around and shove him against the wall, all to try and take him into your mouth just to see if you can.
He doesnât really let you think about that for too long though, because the second you get to your bedroom, heâs grabbing you from behind and lifting you in his strong arms. You writhe in his grasp with playful giggles, feeling the strong hold he has on you, keeping you in place against him as he stumbles forward with a deep inhale into your neck.
Heâs quick to make his way to your bed, dropping you onto it, flipping you over onto your back, and immediately slotting himself between your legs. He hovers over you for a minute, looking directly into your eyes as his hair falls forward.Â
Somehow, youâre more focused on his face than you are of his cock that heâs sliding up and down your core right now. You reach up to his hair, brushing it out of his face and feeling the sticky sweat at his scalp.Â
âCould eat you out again.â Jake mentions, hips thrusting against you but eyes calm and level with yours. âCould lock me up in here and just use me all day if you want.â He continues, partially being serious about it, but treating it as if itâs some kinky joke instead.Â
Because letâs be honest. If thereâs any job Jake could do better than anyone else, itâs be a womanâs fuck toy. Always ready to go, always stiff and horny, always willing to please.Â
âCould slide in right now and let you feel how hard I am.â His voice gets breathier as he talks, and you can tell heâs just imagining everything he wants to do. He probably worries heâll have to go home at some point tonight only to resume his search for potential fucks to keep his need satiated.Â
He probably thinks heâs going to exhaust you.Â
âCould let you do all of that and more.â You respond, lifting your hips just slightly to press his cock between your bodies, throwing your legs around his waist simultaneously with the way you wrap your arms around his neck. âYou want me to lock you up in here?âÂ
Jake nods with a sigh, squeezing his eyes shut as if he can imagine it.Â
âDo you work tomorrow?âÂ
He shakes his head with another sigh, focusing on the way you keep humping up against his length, sliding yourself in whatever way you can against him.Â
âMaybe Iâll just have to do that then.â
Oh, damn.Â
The heart eyes are back. The very thought of being in this room all night and all day tomorrow drives his cock to pulse and twitch. Foreplay can come whenever, fucking can come whenever, he can cum whenever. Thereâs no need for a to-do list. No need for a specific structure of rules on how this needs to happen. Foreplay, sex, sleep. Not with Jake.Â
Sex. foreplay. sex. foreplay. for hours. Heâll keep you up all night if he can, fucking and sucking every part of you, into the morning hours straight into tomorrow night.Â
Free use with you from now until youâre tired of him. You can do anything you want to him but for nowâŠ
âYeah?â Jake breathes out in excitement, arching his back slightly to let his cock land against your hole, and then he pushes forward slowly. The bulbous head spreads your lips and stretches out your slick pussy with ease as he continues to speak. âFeel that?â
Your eyes flutter shut at the sensation, fingernails already digging into his shoulders at the anticipation as your legs loosen around him. He continues to push forward, inch by inch, painfully slow as if he wants you to feel the burn and stretch even while being as wet as you are.Â
âAhââ He confirms for himself as he watches your face, wincing, mouth falling open. âYeah, you feel it.â
God, yeah. You do. You feel the weight of his size inside of you, stretching you open so good he probably wouldnât even have to move for it to hurt. But he does move, he does continue to slide in, savoring every second of your walls quivering and suffocating his cock.Â
âGoddamn,â He groans, lifting up on both arms and bracing himself as he looks down, only to find heâs only slid half of his dick into you, and already youâre about as breathless as he is. âDidnât realize how tight youâd actually beââÂ
He chokes when he says it, sliding out little by little before fucking back in, pushing just a bit more into you.
âSâokay.â You try to reassure him, but itâs more for you than it is for him. You really didnât think a cock could feel so big that it actually hurts, yet, here you are. âIâm adjusting.â
Jake moans at your broken voice, no longer holding himself back to look at your pussy grip him when he pulls out slightly. He looks at your face instead, witnessing how you take all of it in one solid movement from him. All of it, until he can feel his pelvis rest against your clit and your entire body stiffens in a tight hug around his body.Â
âMhm,â He leans back down now, humming against your cheek as he tries to control the urge to fuck. âTaking all of it, arenât you?â
With those words, he slides out slightly before pushing back in again, trying to force your pussy to relax so that he can stop holding his breath. One hand finds its way to your leg to hold onto, the other holding himself up beside your head, and he justâŠwatches.Â
Little by little, he thrusts. Plunging into you in short-tight snaps of his hips just to watch your tits jiggle with the movements, up until he really, really canât hold back anymore.Â
You feel his cock leave you almost entirely, only to slam right back in and cause your vision to go white with a pang of pleasure. Your loud yelp pairs well with his relieved sigh of a grunt, and it appears that this is what breaks him entirely.Â
That single, full thrust, lets him fall forward and nuzzle his nose against your neck and his body just goes. Instinctually chasing the deepest parts inside of you, hitting your cervix with each thrust only to drag back and make your toes go numb at the way your g-spot feels entirely too sensitive with this alone.
And god, Jake loves the way you cling through it. The way you moan each time he bottoms out, the way your nails cut into his back and the way your legs continuously fail to stay wrapped around him. HeâŠ
Oh no.
âI can go all nightââ He breathes out through his relentless thrusts, almost as if heâs pleading with you. âI swear, Iâm not doneââ He continues to cut off his own words with choked moans as he pulls back and leans up, frantically forgetting to apologize over the fact that heâs already about to cum again.
And you feel him try to slide out, that face he made twice before already alerting you that he really must have so much to pump out of himself at this point. You donât mind if heâs about to hit a third orgasm, in fact, youâre glad.
Your legs hold him in place as he fights to pull out, his eyes snapping to you in realization after the second time he tries.Â
âNo fucking way, youâ you want it?â His eyebrows fall into that of a relieved release as he, too, falls right back down against your chest and lets his hips fuck freely.Â
Heâs not controlling it at this point. You feel him stretch you open more through his orgasm, rolling his hips but not pulling out even in the slightest now. Moving back and forth, as if trying to stuff you impossibly full while he releases those thick ropes of cum. ItâŠfeels so good even with the way the base of his cock continues to swirl and loosen you up in a painful stretch that almost feels like heâs ripping you open. Still, the pain is gone as he shakes on top of you, in fact, you feel your clit throb at the feeling of how big he is, of how hard he manages to stay.Â
He didnât even fuck you that roughly before this, but it feels like youâre already ruined. Ruined enough to want more. Enough to need more.Â
âBet that feels good,â You chuckle against his hair, feeling each pulse of him and loving the way he pants against your ear. âNot having to pull out, knowing you can fuck me for as long as you want.â
That only pushes his orgasm to hit harder. He thought he was nearing the end of it, but instead, his body goes into overdrive as more pulses of cum shoot out of him at your words. Thereâs soâŠso much of it he can give you. And if this is what you want, heâs the perfect man to do it for you.Â
âDonât say that, oh godââ Jake mumbles through the end of his orgasm, keeping himself tucked nice and deep into you as he releases his body weight and makes you feel slightly suffocated under him. âPlease.â
Well, he minds his manners well enough, you shrug under him, clenching around his length unintentionally and reminding him that you genuinely can go all night, just like him.
Reminding him that maybe you really will just lock him up in this room all tonight, all tomorrow. He seems into the idea anyway, right? Both of you just free-use sex dolls for the time beingâŠHell yeah.
And as Jake catches his breath, he finally lifts up, pulling you with him, and sits you directly on his lap now.
âKeep going then, donât let it get soft.â He nearly whimpers, solely due to the sensitivity his cock is now offering and the fact that after that third orgasm, he truly is gaining the ability to go flaccid between orgasms.Â
And you follow his direction, though not entirely how he wanted you to. Instead of rolling your hips, you slip him right out of you and sink your face down between his legs, loving the way his cum spills out of you all the while. You donât even say anything, not that youâd need to. He watches you, a smirk forming on his lips as he raises an arm and throws it over his eyes.Â
âShit, Youâre so my type.â He groans out of the sexual frustration that still bubbles within him. You look so good down there with his cock just inches from your mouth. God, no woman has been able to go down on him for too long despite really fucking wishing they would.Â
His hips always lose control, they donât like face fucking, heâs too big to fit, theyâre gagging too much, their jaw is hurting. What the fuck ever. Look at you, blinking up at him like you want nothing more in the world than to take it all down your throat. Ah, fuck, if you did thatâŠ
His hips buck up on instinct, forcing you to hold him down with your arms as you lick your lips.Â
âYou really live up to your promise, you know that?â You smile with warmed cheeks as you speak, blowing air gently against the head of his cock. Itâs softened up a little, but itâs no longer going flaccid. Youâre sure that the second you work it into your mouth, heâs going to be blocking your airways.Â
Good.Â
âYou say that like Iâm not overwhelming you with all of this,â He chuckles as he moves his arm from his face and down to yours. âMost girls would have already sent me home.â
You circle your lips around the bulbous head, tasting the remnants of both you and him as you gently suckle before popping off and licking your lips.Â
âWell, Jakeââ You look back down and lend his cock a little kiss. âIâm not most girls. Besides, most guys get their nut and leave me hanging. Youâve gotten, what? Three orgasms by now? And youâre still in my bed? Wanting me to lock you up tomorrow too? What a fucking win.â
Jake rolls his eyes because you donât even know the fucking half of it. If he were a normal guy, he probably would have done the same thing. Maybe not to you, but to others? Yeah. The thing is, heâs not like most guys. And youâre right in saying youâre not like most girls either, consideringâŠyour sex drive appears to be just as insatiable as his.
âFuck, let me eat you out againââ Jake groans now, needing to pleasure you again, aroused by the fact that heâs basically met a female version of himself. Even if heâs just exaggerating and making himself believe such a woman could exist close enough to him. âLet meâ AhhâŠâ
You cut off his words, dragging a loud and sensual moan from him as you sink down. Mostly to shut him up, mostly so you can return the favor for him from earlier before letting him have another lick of you. After all, you truly do appreciate him for all of this.Â
âMmfââ You mumble unintentionally, feeling each inch of his length that you swallow up pressing your tongue further and further down in your mouth. Up until youâre entirely open mouthed on him, gagging yourself when he hits your throat only to angle yourself up on your knees to point it straight down your throat instead.
It hurts, but you close your eyes in concentration, breathing through each gag, ignoring the dribble of saliva that runs from the corners of your mouth andâ you swallow.
Mostly because you canât suck. Again and again, you swallow around him just to stimulate his length, the girth stretching your lips out to the point you feel your jaw could break, but it doesnât and it wonât.Â
Within an instant of taking his whole length down your throat, you feel his hands in your hair. Your ears are ringing, otherwise you would also be listening to him choke on his words at how youâre doing this to him. All of it. Youâre taking him in full, not leaving an inch out, seemingly proving that your mouth can be fucked just as good as your cunt.
Heâs in heaven, head spinning as you stimulate him through each gag and sputtered out chokes of a moan. He canât help it when he grabs your hair, he really doesnât mean it when he pushes your head down while pressing his hips up. Essentially choking you and suffocating you in full with a paused hold.Â
You brace yourself on his hips when he does this, squeezing your eyes shut and continuously gagging from the way he abuses your mouth with just that small movement, and thenâ he pulls back.
âAhh,â He groans, snapping his hips back and holding you by the hair to keep you from chasing. âYou like that?â He continues, letting you breathe but not answer at all before heâs pushing your head right back down, holding you there again and fucking his hips up repeatedly into your throat this time.Â
The sounds are pornographic at best, concerning at worst. You, searching for air somewhere between his thrusts, the sounds of wet sputters, drooling, whimpered groans from him, and desperate gasps and gags from you. Truly, Jake is in heaven right now. With you, specifically, youâve brought him to heaven.
For you, it feels like he does this forever. Youâre losing the ability to comprehend what breathing ever was in the first place, thankfully though, Jake can see the tears pouring from your eyes and feel the way you fall slightly limp, letting him do as he pleases before he realizesâ he may actually be overwhelming you now.
He snaps his hips back quickly, pulling you up and off of the last remaining inches of his weeping cock before taking a good, long look at your gasped breath and abused lips. Tongue licking out and eyes stained.Â
âIâm sorry, fuck, Iââ
Instantly you press yourself down on him once again, resuming your original position of sliding him in until you canât stand the feeling in your throat, gagging and swallowing around him time and time again. You feel proud of it, proud of the pain, proud of the suffocation.Â
Fucking proud to not be finished with him compared to every other person, apparently.Â
âJesusââ He groans now, his entire body slouching against your bed as he slams his head back and starts petting your cheeks. âItâs like you were born for this. For me.â
You hum around the gags, growing accustomed to swallowing him up and feeling your jaw strain. And just a few moments later, you pull up with a deep breath, a smile, and you start rubbing your jaw.Â
âMaybe I was,â You try to talk dirty, wanting to drive him insane. âYou taste so good.â You add, dipping down again to lick a long stripe up the underside of his balls up to his tip. âAny girl should be proud to say youâd fuck her mouth like that.â
A twitch, he rolls his eyes back and clenches his jaw.Â
âHow are you soâŠâ He breathes out, reaching his hands blindly for you, only to feel you shift on the bed and essentially sit your tits into both of his hands. âperfect?â
You shrug when he opens his eyes, youâre now hovering over him, both hands covering his on your tits as you force him to squeeze and grope.Â
âMaybe itâs best to not ask questions.â You tilt your head playfully. âBesides, if Iâm lucky maybe youâll stop trying to find other girls to fuck. They canât take care of you like I will, anyway.â
Oh, you damn fucking right they wonât.Â
âYou can have it any time you want.â Jake smiles, relishing in your tits warming under his palms, watching the way you hover over him tall and proud on your knees. âCould play with you every day and never get bored.âÂ
You feel him move his hand from under yours, going straight between your legs and sliding not two, but three fingers into you with ease.
âStill so wet too,â He hums, eyes narrowing at you with that same pretty grin. âYou always this horny?â
You shake your head.Â
âNot usually, you just turn me on.âÂ
Jake feels proud of that. He doesnât feel like the odd ball with a dick that canât be satiated no matter how many pussies he plows through in a night. Which, again, for the past year has been a total of zero pussy. You getting turned on by that makes him feelâŠcapable. Makes him feel like maybe he can be put to use by a pretty girl.Â
Makes him feel like his need is wanted and well taken care of.Â
âSo, I can keep calling you?â He asks now, fucking his fingers up, loving the warmth and slide, anticipating for when he gets to bury his cock in you again.Â
âMhm.â You hum, closing your eyes to enjoy the pleasure of how deep even his fingers reach. Kind of ready for him to stop talking and just focus on what heâs doing to you.
âEven if itâs every single day?â He continues to ask, now using his thumb against your clit. âEven if I need you in the middle of the night?â
Anything he wants if he can keep hitting your g-spot like this.Â
âYes, Jake,â You sigh out of aroused frustration, now wiggling your hips to chase that stimulation inside of you. âIâll give you the fucking key to my apartment if you want. Just let you walk right in and start fucking me.â
His fingers move faster at the image, the implication of not just free-use, but true free use. Real free-use.Â
âYeah? Wake you up with my cock sliding into you?â He urges you to keep talking, now removing his other hand from your chest and circling it around his cock. âJust walk right in and get my mouth on you while all your friends are here?â
You lend a surprised chuckle, but pay no mind to his words past the arousal it brings to you. Youâd tell him about how you have a total of like two friends, and half of the time theyâre too busy to show up anyway. Still, the image is hot at the moment. All of it is hot.Â
âYouâd let me?â He continues pressing every button both physically and mentally, unaware of how easy it is for him to talk as if itâs a normal conversation solely because itâs kind of his general state of living at this point. You, on the other hand, are not used to having a full conversation while your g-spot gets abused. âEven if youâre not home? Let you come home and find me fucking myself for you?â
Oh.
âFuckââ You groan out at the image, feeling his fingers reach so perfectly, thinking of how it would feel to walk into your apartment just to see this pretty man chasing that tight ring of fingers his fist creates. Probably so turned on and frustrated that youâre not homeâŠso frustrated that all he could do is drop to the floor and start fucking. âGod, yeah.â
So thatâs what youâre into. You love that heâs that pathetic to fuck. And lucky for you, heâs more than willing to continue to be that fucking pathetic.Â
âDoes that feel good?â He hums now, watching how you fuck yourself against his fingers, lifting slightly to lick against your nipple. âCan I use my cock again?â He babbles almost, brain on constant loop of you actually giving him free reign of your apartment someday so he can come andââPlease, do this on my cock.â
This is the second time heâs asked you to ride it, and you think that may be one time too many. You almost feel guilty for taking him down your throat first, but then again, you donât. Your body vibrates knowing youâre about to split yourself open on him again, only this time having full control.Â
âYou want me to sit on it, Jake?â You smile, thrusting your hips down and sinking his fingers into you so deep that you physically can see his brain malfunction.Â
The frantic nod he gives is somehow less powerful than how he lifts his hips, forcing you higher on your knees as his fingers slip out of you and immediately land in his mouth.Â
Man, this guy must love the taste of pussy. The image of him doing that alone is insanely arousing to you as you lend him a short nod and slide back, your pussy sucking in the head of his cock instantly as if the two of you move together so well, that it was only natural to not need a guiding hand for it.Â
He sinks his head deep into the mattress with the way you try to sink down on him. He holds his breath with those same fingers in his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut at how tight you still are, how wet you still are.Â
And heâs shocked, almost, at the way you just keep sliding down. Not letting yourself re-adjust to his size, holding your own breath and bracing yourself on his abdomen just to keep balance and you wince through the stretch.Â
âThatâs it.â Jake soothes your hips as you sit, clenching around each one of his twitches inside of you. âDoing so good.â He breathes out this time, trying to hold back his moan just for a moment as he awaits your moan first.
And it comes quickly when you lean back rather than against him, arms by his knees as you practically present his cock to him buried entirely into you with this position. He lifts his head and stares at it before reaching his thumb to your clit, immediately pressing hard circles against it.Â
âRide it,â He pleads now. âGod, please ride it.â He loses his mind at the image, really, as you do start moving.Â
Pained whimpers falling from your lips as you circle your hips, fucking just an inch of him in and out of yourself, forcing the deepest part of your pussy to take the abuse more than anything else. And you know he loves it with the way his thumb stops rubbing your clit, with the way he canât decide on if he should look or throw his head back and fall into the sensation.Â
Itâs really cute to witness, and youâd lean forward to kiss him if you had the strength to do it, but you donât. In fact, all the strength you have is currently bubbling up inside of you with a sharp, almost burning sensation.Â
You know exactly what this is. Youâve practiced it time and time again alone in this bed.Â
âOh, oh shit, Jakeââ You groan as you frantically start moving your hips through the full and splitting feeling of him inside of you. Your voice sounds so panicked, it almost scares him. And honestly? Had he not have finger fucked you against your g-spot previously perhaps you could last longer on him, but no.Â
âWhatâ Whatâs wrong?!â Jakeâs voice is broken when he quickly leans up, hugging around you as you continue to ride against him, faster now, chasing, chasing, chasing.Â
Pushing, pushing, pushing.
âNo, no!â You moan out, shoving him back against the bed and now lifting entirely from his length before slapping your own clit, fast, rough circled motions before each slap. âOh, shit!â You nearly yell, witnessing it squirt from your body straight against his abdomen and chest.Â
Jake just watches, mouth agape and eyes wide.Â
âOhââ He stares. âOh yeah?âÂ
And youâre not even done when he seemingly takes full control. Allowing all that squirt to fall out of you, ignoring your shaking legs, tipping you straight back and plunging his cock right back into that release of pressure inside of you.
âYou just werenât gonna tell me you could do that?â He grunts against your ear, fucking into you so hard and so fast that your orgasm just keeps coming. It feels too good to speak, too good to breathe.Â
Even as it subsides and youâre trying to catch your breath, he doesnât let you. He just keeps going, grunting incoherently against your ear, snapping his hips harder than you think heâs probably ever done before.Â
Honestly, with each yelp you let out, your sensitivity goes from being unbearably painful toâ
âDo it againââ He urges you. âGive me another one.â Babbling, cooing, fucking moaning all over your neck until his lips hit yours.Â
Somehow, that gives him exactly what he wants as he feels your legs tense up and fall open around him. Your pelvis slamming into his so hard that itâs, quite literally, splashing out of you in loud and painful sounds.Â
âYeah, yeah, yeah.â He nods and whispers against your tongue, sucking it into his mouth before licking into yours, nearly rabid with the way heâs both kissing and fucking you, he canât help it. He forgot words the second he felt the gush rush past his length, trying to force it out of you only for him to go harder. Like hell heâs not going to feel you literally squirt on his cock. âSo fucking messy.â
At one point, you think you might have actually died. Youâre not sure but you swear you saw him fucking you in third person for two solid seconds before being slammed right back into your body. The pleasure genuinely is so overwhelming thatâŠwell, suddenly you understand why girls probably think heâs too much.
But goddamn heâsâŠso good. Like, you remember him mentioning his body count through his one-sided sext session with you and you can argue his inexperience probably made this that much better. Heâs a fucking natural.Â
And as he continues fucking into you, all you can do is lend him a distant smile. Youâre definitely not experiencing real life at this moment, and you know he sees it with the way he lifts and keeps his eyes on your zoned out expression.Â
âLook at you.â He echoes against your walls. âSo, so pretty.âÂ
And he just keeps doing that, whispering praises, working you through his presumed last orgasm of the night because he genuinely canât not fill you up with his cum one last time before letting you rest.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
The rest didnât last long, but to be fair you didnât need it to. All night, and all day. That promise was kept and Jake remained insatiable throughout all the time he spent with you.
To the point you very nearly felt strange about him leaving. Like youâd grown so accustomed to having someone literally attached to you at the dick that you knew the loneliness and silence would hit you a little too hard once he leaves.Â
And, well, he does leave in a sense, but not completely.Â
Though you never truly meant that offer in the midst of sex-talk, Jake seemed to have clinged to the idea of it. Lock him up, but still give him the key.Â
Never in your life would have imagined giving a person the key to your apartment, and yetâŠthere he goes. Backing out of a guest parking spot in front of your building with your spare fucking apartment key in his pocket right next to those fucking panties.Â
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lost & found | jeon jungkook
summary:your college years have never been something you dwelled on for too long. you didnât want to think of all the chances you lost and thatâs why when the guy you had a crush on moves back to town, you try not to let it affect you again. but then he brings up old memories that didnât go the way you thought they had and youâre thrown for a loop. youâre stuck between finding something new with him and falling back into old habits of never standing up for yourself. it probably doesnât help that he dated your best friend, where everything seemed to go wrong.
⣠genre/au: jungkook x reader [she/her, female anatomy], mid-20âs friendships. what kind of au is this? smut, plot
âŁ18.7k words
warnings: heavy plot. smut. a little bit of angst if you squint. tae is oc defender. shy oc. jk is an old college classmate. oc and jk got complicated, misunderstood history :(. oc is kinda insecure? bathroom sex. teasing. foreplay [f and m receiving]. very neeeedddy, long time waited sex.. unprotected. jk fucks oc on the counter, on the door. jk is tatted up but not in his college days. heavy makeout. breast play. fingering. dirty talk. oc goes down on jk as a thx đ€§ jk dated ocâs bestie but thereâs HISTORY. ocâs bestie is the real villain im sorry. took advantage of two insecure college kids >:( love lost, love found vibes. just read I swear itâs not that bad đ no cheating. FRIEND BREAK UPS. oc gets confident toward the end
song inspo: bff â jesse
As you settle into adulthood, you learn a few things about friendships. There tends to be a slight divide between those youâve known since you were young and those youâve collected over the years. Some might value the friendships theyâve held longer more than those that are more recent but for others, what matters is the trust that comes with friendship no matter with whom it might be with. Youâre somewhere in between, you think.
You have people like Taehyung who youâve only recently started to get to know and have had a chance to grow close with. He doesnât know everything about you yet but he doesnât need to, he seems to understand enough now to be an important person in your current life. Heâs the kind of friend you're thankful youâve met on some random occasion.
Then you have someone like your best friend, Miyoung. Youâre not sure the last time you had ever been truly without her at your side. From your earlier school years to college, to now when youâre both settled into what would essentially be your careers and private lives. Sheâs⊠she's special to you in a way that you're not sure you could ever find in someone elseâor at least thatâs what she says?
There hasnât been a time where it wasnât the two of you practically glued together at the hip and you credit her for her outgoing nature that always seemed to balance with your more introverted demeanor. Of course it didn't mean you couldnât make friends without her [take Taehyung for example] but sheâs always seemed to gravitate people toward you with her energy. Thatâs why you're not at all surprised by tonightâs events and how everyone seemed surprised that you came alone.
âHonestly, Iâm happy you made it, it feels like we havenât seen each other in so long,â Your friend, Hoseok, pointed out as he led you to the private area of the lounge bar where it seemed like a reunion was taking place, âWhen Miyoung said she wasnât going to make it, I thought you probably werenât going to show up andââ
âIs that what you would have preferred?â You asked with a teasing smile as he began to stumble over his words, attempting to backtrack.
âWhat? Y/n, donât you know Iâve been desperately enamored by you since your first year? Donât make such crass comments,â He joked back, helping you out of your coat as you grew closer to the room filled with loud chatter. He led you with hands on your shoulders and said, âAnd between us, Iâm a little happy she didnât come. I wasnât really in the mood for this to turn into a Battle of the Exes fighting ground.â
âWhat do you mean?â You barely had time to ask as you entered the room where an explosion of your name was heard by old college classmates of yours who all seemed on the border of tipsy and in a good mood. You couldnât help but smile, looking at everyone at once till your eyes fell on the person in question.
He didnât hesitate to meet your gaze with equal surprise as you sat across from him, just one person down the line. Immediately the people next to you tried sparking a conversation and you used it as a distraction to keep from gawking at him. When Miyoung told you she wouldnât make it, you debated coming yourself but after some begging from Hoseok you decided to come along. Despite your best friend not joining, you're kind of glad she didnât. Hoseok is right, it would have been a battlefield and you did not want to be caught in the middle of it.
âY/n.â
Ignore, maybe? Just ignore and maybe heâll forget trying to talk to you and your head won't be on the chopping block. You looked down the table at some of the other people you remember from campus activities or long lectures and tried to ignore the growing smile you could see on his face from the corner of your eye.
âHungry?â The person next to you asked as he made you look his way. There were platters of hand food across the bar table and you happily took whatever Jimin offered. As much as you hated it, you couldnât help but look across the table to make sure it really was who you thought it was,
Jeon Jungkook.
Better known as your best friendâs ex boyfriend.
Or worse, the first guy you liked when you started University.
âHi,â he said in a low voice, catching you in the middle of staring at him. In your defense, he seemed so differentâmore matured if you will. Now he was covered in tattoos and piercings, he lost that sort of boyish charm but clearly gained something else along the way. He was buff and bigger, more intimidating yet alluring? Safe to say he didnât look like the âBoy Next Doorâ you had a crush on in your English seminar.
âYouâre here,â was all you could think to say back, giving up on your sorry attempt at ignoring him for no real reason other than saving yourself from an awkward encounter.
âSo are you,â Jungkook bit into his bottom lip as he looked at you closely. How is it that someone could look so different but the same all at once? In your gaze he could still see that curiosity in everything that he remembered from back then when he would spend lectures wondering what was on your mind. In your appearance, he can see how much youâve changed physically. They were surely small differences in everyone elseâs eyes but he always had a tendency to pay too much attention to you and it would get him in trouble.
You gave him a polite nod in response to his blatant observation that matched yours and attempted to shift your attention elsewhere but he didnt let it get too far. He cleared his throat, âHow have you been?â
âMe?â You asked, âOkay, I guess. Busy with work.â
âSo Iâve heard, youâre in marketing now, right? What happened to your writing?â Jungkook asked, seeming genuinely curious to know. He didnât care for the conversations happening around him more than he did hearing your response now that you looked more willing to give him one.
âIt wouldnât have paid the billsâYou remember my writing?â You asked, surprise evident in your features that he couldnât help but smile.
It was hard for him to forget his biggest competition at the time. He let out a small sigh, ready to go on about being unable to forget a certain piece you wrote when a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. Yoongi stood over him, âSmoke break?â
Say no, he thought. Jungkook could easily reject the offer and continue what he was going to say. Without meaning to, he looked back at you, but you had excused yourself from the table in the blink of an eye. Nodding hesitantly, he grabbed his jacket and followed his friend out while he wondered where you went so suddenly.
You were hiding in the washroom when you got the call from Miyoung, like she had a sixth sense telling her to reach out.
âSo how is it? Is it as boring as I said itâd be?â Miyoung asked as she waited in line for some nightclub she was going to with some of her various other friends.
âUm, kind of?â You said without much thoughtâknowing it was what she wanted to hear. In reality, it was fun. You were greeted warmly that it washed away your earlier worries and youâre being taken care of by old friends you didn't get to talk to as much. Not to mention, youâre seeing Jungkook again after a couple years of hearing and thinking of nothing about the guy, so you donât actually think it's boring.
Miyoung snorted, âFigures, good thing I didnât go. I could not sit through more than an hour of everyone going on and on about what theyâve been up to. I mean, yeah I miss Hobi and stuff but I could see him whenever, yâknow? Who all showed up?â
âI think everyone,â You admitted with a nervous bite of your lip. It was now or never. You tell her that it seems like Jungkook has come to visit or has come back to stay and youâre not sure how sheâll take that. She might even march over here just to tell him how she's felt these last two years and chances are thatâll ruin the easy vibe for everyone else. You leaned against the stall door and talked with her.
âSo youâre back,â Yoongi asked with a smirk as he took a drag from his cigarette, âMy Golden Boyâs back? Someone pinch me.â
âFunny guy,â Jungkook said sarcastically as he looked out onto the busy street. Yoongi shrugged, turning toward the bar window looking around to see the group, âArenât you happy you came?â
âYeah, itâs great seeing everyone again,â Jungkook told him casually, flicking the end of his cigarette and watching the ash fall to the cold cement of the street.
âWant to know who surprised me tonight?â Yoongi asked, looking over at him to see if his expression would change at all, âY/n.â
Jungkook cleared his throat awkwardly, âWhat do you mean?â
He shrugged, dropping ash to the ground, âY/n never comes out to these sorts of things, and if she does come itâs usually with Miyoung but she came by herself tonight.
âYeahâŠâ Jungkook zoned out a bit as he thought about it more, âWhy doesnât she meet up with you guys often?â
âYou know Y/n doesn't really go out,â Yoongi said, âAnd sheâs busy with work, at least thatâs what Hobi says. I donât know, when Hobi said Miyoung wasnât coming tonight we both expected Y/n to not show too but⊠hey, arenât you happy she isnât here?â
âI donât really care either way,â Jungkook confessed truthfully, âBut do you know if⊠yâknow, you might have heard something about Y/n and if sheâs still seeing someone orââ
âOh God,â Yoongi couldnât help but laugh as he put his cigarette out, Jungkook doing the same, âItâs been like three years, man.â
Jungkook watched him laugh as he walked off leaving him to follow, âWhat?â
Yoongi held the door open for him, âYou know what, but Iâll answer your question, anyway. Last I heard Y/n is single, so what now?â
He waited for Jungkook to respond but he wasnât listening anymore. There were too many things on his mind that he needed to work out before you came back to the table.
âWhat do you mean youâre leaving? You just got here,â Jimin said to you as he held your hand in his to stop you from leaving, âOne more drink.â
âItâs late,â You tried to say, âIâve got to be up early.â
âLiar, itâs a Saturday night, Y/n. Sit your ass back down,â Hobi said with a firm voice making you sit down immediately. He flashed you a cute smile before asking everyone if they wanted another round of drinks.
âSo, what were we talking about earlier?â Jungkook asked, trying to get you to talk to him again, âYour writing? Yeah, how can I forget it? Remember we used to read each otherâs essays all the time before⊠well.â
Before he broke up with your best friend.
âYeah, I remember,â You admitted, trying to find something to say. What kind of questions would Miyoung want to know? What do you want to know? What should you prepare your friend to know? âHow long are you visiting?â
âActually, I just moved back, I got a job doing graphic design for a local company,â Jungkook told you with the hint of a smile, âItâs my first time meeting up with everyone again.â
You let yourself indulge in small talk with him here and there but usually when he started it. The night had been fine, you enjoyed your time but after a while all you wanted to do was go home and Hoseok couldnât make you stay any longer. You ended your night wondering if you should go out more.
Everything has a backstory, right? How it all started and yours seems pretty tacky. You spent the first couple years of University doing what you had to do in school and letting Miyoung drag you to whatever outing she had on the weekends. Some time in your third year, you joined this English class with the most boring, monotonous professor ever and thatâs where you met Jungkook.
In all honesty, you thought he was cute from the get go. Sitting through three hours of a boring lecture led people to do odd things and one of those for you was staring at the cute guy who sat down a couple rows from you. It was just a little thing you did to pass time so you never expected anything to actually happen from it.
Then one day most of the seats were taken [naturally, it was a large class] and he seemed to have been running late because his usual cycle of seats were all taken except the one next to yours. Despite all those times you would find yourself ogling the stranger, when he was right next to you, you didnât say a single word.
It was Jungkook who spoke first and it was just to ask if you could help him catch up. That day you were supposed to read someone elseâs prompt and revise it and you chose each other which then trickled down to a routine of it. Without speaking much, he would sit next to you or silently save you a seat whenever you were running late and the one time you decided to switch it up and sit elsewhereâŠ
Well, he was practically pouting the whole day.
It had been a nearly perfect set up to what could have been if you just allowed yourself to go for things but it didnât happen that way.
One random Tuesday night, Miyoung wanted to go out for some cheap drinks and you found yourselves at a bar not too far from campus where you ran into a senior in one of your classes. Yoongi had come up to you first, just greeting you and making small talk when Jungkook who apparently had come with him, recognized you too.
They drank with you and Miyoung for a bit and you honestly thought it had been fun. You had never had real conversations with him outside of school work and it was nice to have more people to hang with that it just felt natural. Though at some point through the night Miyoung had gotten kind of flirty. She claims she assumed you had wanted Yoongi and not Jungkook and practically called dibs on him despite meeting him for the first time that night.
When she made her intents obvious, you couldnât help but backtrack.
You always considered yourself pretty self aware about yourself. There was nothing special really and when you compare yourself to Miyoung there just isnât much competition.
She was the perfect Prom Queen type who always had the nicest clothes or the cutest boyfriends, the best awards and most interesting stories. The amount of guys she would pull who you didnât even have a chance with was insane. And though you might sound bitter, youâre not. Youâve never been the type to want the spotlight or attention and being best friends with someone so damn perfect was that you could always stay in the shadows.
So when she started flirting with Jungkook, you didnât really notice his awkward glances or how he shied away from her proximity. You only saw how he smiled politely and listened to her go on and on about how great she is and assumed he was into her like all the others had been.
You tried to act normal after that, you would talk to him every now and then and never questioned why he stopped talking to you as much until he started dating Miyoung but you werenât bitter. You were understanding.
It made sense he would date her. She was beautiful and smart and someone people pine for. It was a given that that would happen so once again, you didnât take it personal.
They dated for a couple months [nothing serious at all] and then he dumped her which resulted in Miyoung practically forbidding you from even looking his way at all. You completed your last year without thinking about him despite the various mutual friends you shared and went on with your life when he moved.
That was the backstory and why you felt so awkward seeing him the other night.
You havenât told Miyoung yet because thereâs a high chance she wonât care at all and would get annoyed that you even thought to bring it up. Your friend is very pretty and she likes being in relationships so sheâs been in quite a few since they dated and probably doesnât care to be reminded at all.
The only person youâve told is Taehyung.
âBut did you at least have fun?â He asked as the two of you sat at a small restaurant for lunch. You nodded your head, âYeah, it was alright. It was just weird, for me at least.â
âWhy?â Taehyung asked as he dug into his meal, stuffing his mouth with no care in the world, âI mean itâs obvious everyone was happy to see you and didnât want you to leave. Who cares if Miyoung didnât go, clearly it didnât matter to anyone else.â
You didnât say anything, taking your time to enjoy your meal as you drifted off in thought. He is right, you know that sometimes itâs just in your head and you overthink things. You always feel like youâre boring to others so itâs natural for you to assume no one would be happy to see just you and not your bubble of joy best friend. There has to be a certain level of comfort between you and another person to show personality and itâs rare people get to see it.
âBut howâd it go with that guy? Did he ask you about her?â Taehyung asked with a hint of curiosity.
âNot that I can remember. I donât know, it was kind of awkward but we talked a bit,â You told him honestly, âHe just moved back down so thatâs cool I guess.â
Taehyung looked at you skeptically but you avoided his gaze, trying to distract yourself with your phone.
yoongi: throwing a welcome back party for jk this weekend, u coming?
you: idk, if Iâm free
yoongi: ⊠ur always freeđ€
yoongi: just say yes, bring whoever u want
you: but is he ok with me going
yoongi: y wouldnât he be
yoongi: heâs the one who asked me to make sure u come
you: okkkkkk đ„č
âTae, can you come with me to this party please?â You asked, immediately showing your friend your text messages leaning across the table for him to see them clearly.
Taehyungâs brows furrowed as he read through the texts carefully, âJungkook is the ex boyfriend, right? Whyâs he so interested in you going?â
âHeâs not,â you said, âHeâs probably just doing it to be nice, since everyone I know will be there.â
âWhat if heâs⊠yâknow, interested?â Taehyung asked curiously and you nearly choked on your drink.
âNo, oh my god,â You couldnât help but roll your eyes, âWe were just classmates and we stopped talking after he dumped Miyoung soââ
âYeah but did you ever stop to think âhm, Iâm the one who knew this guy first and then Miyoung went and snatched him from me before I even got a chance to exploreâ,â Taehyung said in a high pitched voice, presumably mocking yours. You reached over to playfully shove his shoulder making him grin mischievously.
âWhat? No, it wasnât like that at all,â You tried to say, âHim and I didnât even really talk until the night he met her at the bar and⊠no, thatâs crazy. He liked Miyoung right away.â
Taehyung just sighed, giving up on trying to get through to you, âIf you say so, but whoâs the one he approached first? Because I can tell you right now it wasnât her.â
Despite how he expresses himself when he talks about your best friend, he doesnât dislike her. He thinks Miyoung is alright, maybe a little too much for his tastes but that doesnât mean anything. He understands the two of you are really close and although he has had many chances to befriend her too, he just hasnât.
Heâll talk to her if you force them to hang out together but he would never go out of his way to be her friend. It might sound bad but Taehyung is pretty protective over you and rightfully so, he feels.
He doesnât want to badmouth one of his closest friends but you have a tendency to overthink things. You donât realize how great you are and make yourself seem smaller and he thinks Miyoung and other people like her in your life are at fault. Heâs heard some of the things she says to you and itâs like you hold her up so highly thereâs no room for you to see how pretty, smart, and talented you are. And before anyone gets the wrong idea, heâs not in love with you or anything.
Youâre too good for him so he gave up on that idea long ago.
Plus, now that heâs able to connect some of those pieces from when you were in Uni, some things are clicking into place for him. Miyoung tends to dim your light a bit, or copy something you do and claim it as her own and when he hears this little backstory between all of your old college friends⊠he just canât help but wonder if Jungkook was one of those things she claimed for herself.
With that thought in mind, he agreed to go with you to this party and see for himself what is there and what could be. He just wants whatâs best for you and for you to be able to go and get it without worrying youâre not good enough or stepping on anyoneâs toes.
When Friday night came, your apartment was filled with loud music and even louder complaints coming from one person in particular. Taehyung was just listening to you and Miyoung go back and forth about tonightâs plans and it got to the point where you couldnât say anything but the truth about what you would be doing tonight.
âItâs a welcome back party for Jungkook,â You said, trying your hardest not to let your voice sound strained.
âWhat? When did he get back?â Miyoung asked, sitting up from your bed and tossing your pillow off her lap, âLike he moved back?â
âYeah, I guess not too long ago,â You said with a shrug, looking in your mirror to see if you liked the way you looked or not, âI donât know, Yoongi is the one who invited me.â
âWhy didnât I know? Why wasnât I invited?â Miyoung asked, turning to Taehyung like he would have the answers.
âProbably because youâre his ex girlfriend and you ditched out on their little reunion so you could party,â Taehyung said, not bothering to look up from his phone.
âYeah but, whyâd they ask Y/n? Sheâs not even friends with him,â Miyoung said with a slight scoff, âYouâre not actually going right? We could go out, just the three of us. You already hung out with them, you and I havenât gone out in weeks, letâs just do our own thing. Unless youâre trading me in for all of them.â
You looked at her with apologetic eyes. Youâve been busy with work recently and she is right. The last people you hung out with aside from Taehyung were all of them two weekends ago so it would only be fair to hang out with her this time. It shouldnât mean anything that you were invited and that Jungkook wanted to make sure you were going. Miyoung was supposed to be your best friend so how could you go to a party she wasnât invited to?
Just as you were going to give in and shoot Yoongi a text that you werenât going to make it, Taehyung spoke up for you. âWhy donât you just come with? One of them said Y/n can bring whoever she wants and Iâm already going so itâs not like you have to be by yourself. Plus, arenât the rest of them supposed to be your friends too? Y/n already agreed.â
âWhy didnât you ask me first?â
âI didnât realize I needed permission,â You couldnât help but sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed to comfort her, âWe can just stop by, have a drink or two and leave if itâs lame. Come on.â
After much convincing, the three of you arrive at Yoongiâs place which was a small house with good outdoor space and the inside was packed with people already. The amount of party goers made you anxious but at the same time slightly thrilled that surely the attention would never be on you with so many people around.
âY/n! Miyoung!â Namjoon spotted you two first and he threw his arms around you both with a grin, âSurprised to see you here, Mimi.â
âYeah, probably because I was the only one not invited,â Miyoung said bitterly, making Namjoon take a drink from his cup and look away nervously.
âLetâs get you guys drinks then,â He said with an awkward clear of his throat looking to Taehyung, âWhatâs up, Iâm Namjoon.â
âTaehyung,â he said, following you to the drinks table. The music played loudly and there were a lot of people having a good time that it was somewhat easy to try and blend in and act normal. Miyoung had a pout on her face, looking around worried but Namjoon brightened her mood and every now and then another friend would stop by to greet her. Taehyung mostly clung to you and only drifted away when a friend would spark conversation with you but you were thankful he was around.
âY/n,â someone called out to you from across the room. You couldnât make them out through the crowd of people and it took a while before you spotted Jungkook making his way to your direction.
âJungkook,â you said with a nervous breath, looking around for Miyoung but she was off with Namjoon talking about god knows what.
âHow long have you been here? Why didnât you say anything?â Jungkook asked, slightly more energetic than usual. His hair was messy, with strands out of place, he wore a basic black tee and baggy jeans so why did he look good? Itâs still hard for you to wrap your mind around who this is.
Heâs gotten so muscular and just⊠more intimidating with his tattoo sleeve and piercings and itâs so unexpected but in a good way.
âI, um, you know, I just assumed you were busy,â you lied, looking around for one of your friends. Taehyung was at the table getting a drink and heâll be back soon to save you before Miyoung looks around.
Jungkook found himself looking around too, as if he could see what you did but he came up short, âDid you come with anyone?â
âYeah, Miyoung and a friend of mine,â you rushed the words out in hopes of sounding casual but Jungkook didnât even bat an eye.
âSo what are you doing alone?â He asked with a raised brow, taking a step closer to you, âActually, thereâs something thatâs been on my mind since last time I saw you and I uh⊠I havenât had the chance to say it.â
You blinked nervously, looking up at him and how close he was to you, âWhat is it?â
He licked his lips, playing with his lip rings shyly, âWell, I was wondering if you would like to get together some time, just you and I. Weâve never had the chance to hang out.â
âWeâre hanging out right now, arenât we?â You asked, feigning naivety that almost seemed teasing. In truth, you could sense what he was possibly asking and you needed him to stop. There was no reason for you two to hang out alone, no matter how much the thought made you giddy.
âI guess,â Jungkook couldnât help but let his eyebrows knit together in confusion. He took another step closer to you, hand on the wall behind you for support. , âBut I was still hoping⊠I know itâs probably kind of awkward but weâre grown, right? We can get together without worrying about anyone else.â
âWho says itâs because Iâm worried?â You asked with a hint of playfulness in an attempt to ease some of the growing tension caused by the way he looked at you, âWhere is this coming from all of a sudden?â
That made him crack a smile, âAll of a sudden?â
âYes, all of a sudden,â another voice added in from behind him and you jumped at the sound. Jungkook didnât bother to turn around, he was more focused on the way you tried to look behind him and meet Miyoungâs glare.
âWhereâd you run off to?â You asked, pushing past him making Jungkook slide his hand off the wall and roll his eyes at the disruption.
âSomewhere I felt wanted,â she said bitterly, eyes on Jungkook as she spoke to you, âLetâs go, Iâm bored.â
âI thought you were having a good tiââ
âIâm not, Y/n,â Miyoung almost snapped, âYou said we could have a drink and go. Weâve been here for like forever and I want to leave. Thatâs what we agreed on.â
âOkay, jeez, letâs go then,â You said with a sigh, âLet me find Taehyung.â
âGo, then,â Miyoung said, making you take a deep breath, trying to tell yourself she had a right to be upset. She didnât want you [as her best friend] talking to her ex boyfriend. And you did say you didnât have to stick around for longâŠ
âWhat?â Miyoung asked Jungkook with a roll of her eyes as she caught him staring, âDid I interrupt something?â
âYou still donât know how to speak to people like theyâre human beings,â Jungkook said simply, âAnd itâs sad to watch.â
âScrew you,â Miyoung scoffed, âYouâre just mad I stopped you from trying to ask my best friend out. My friends are off limits.â
âShe was my friend too,â Jungkook said as a reminder, âAnd I can do whatever I want. Youâre just childish.â
She snorted, âRight, says the guy who fumbled me.â
He couldnât seem to act mature anymore and before he stop himself he said, âRemember, youâre not the one I wanted anyway.â
He walked off without much care for how she felt and found his other friends, wondering who it was you ran off to find.
âTae, can we go now?â You asked your friend. Taehyung had found himself a group of people to entertain with his stories and had nearly forgotten who he had tagged along with until you pulled him to the side.
âUh, okay,â Taehyung cleared his throat awkwardly, âWhat happened? I thought everyone was having a good time.â
âMiyoung wants to leave,â You said with a small sigh, âShe saw me talking to Jungkook and I just donât want it to become this big problem so can we please just go?â
Taehyung placed an arm on your shoulder, leading you to Miyoung who waited at the door, âYeah, sure letâs go.â
The car had only stayed silent for the first half of the drive to Miyoungâs apartment. Somewhere between the last red light and this short stretch of road, a fire had been lit underneath her which made her start up again.
âSo what was that back there?â Miyoung asked from the backseat and you debated just acting asleep or like you were too drunk to listen properly. She leaned forward, looking at you closely.
âWhat do you mean?â You asked nervously.
âYou know exactly what I mean,â Miyoun said with an annoyed tone, âFirst you get invited to a party for my ex boyfriend and next thing I know the two of you are whispering in the corner looking like youâre about to kiss and like Iâm not even in the room.â
Taehyung had to bite his tongue from responding, worried that if he spoke too soon it would only make you seem more weak to her antics. He just tapped his fingers against the window trying to keep silent
âMiyoung,â You started with a sigh, âYouâre overreacting. It was nothing, weâre friendsââ
âSince when?â Miyoung scoffed, âYouâre supposed to be my friend, Y/n.â
âI am,â You said defensively, âAnd if you want to talk about this tomorrow then thatâs fine but right now itâs late and weâve all been having a decent time so donât ruin itâŠâ
âY/nâs right, letâs end the night on a good note,â Taehyung finally said but he seemed to go ignored by you two.
âYouâre not though, real friends wouldnât flirt with their best friendâs ex boyfriendââ
âYou two dated for less than five months and it was years ago,â You blurted out, âI knew him before that so donât act like Iâm betraying you.â
âOh my god, I knew youâd still be bitter I started seeing him,â Miyoung said, suddenly making you hide your face in your hand from exhaustion. âI didnât know you had a thing for him back then. You shouldâve said something instead of holding it against me like you do everything else.â
âWhat are you talking about?â You couldnât help but scoff.
Miyoungâs eyes narrowed suspiciously, âYou know exactly what Iâm talking about and itâs not fair.â
Taehyung took a deep breath, fingers clenched around the steering wheel unable to bite his tongue any longer, âMiyoung I donât think youâre being fair. Youâre clearly drunk and you just want to argââ
âShut up, Taehyung,â She snapped, slurring on her words a bit and not even realizing the car came to a stop in front of her building, âIâm not even talking you and you can stop acting like Y/nâs bodyguard because last time I checked sheâs a grown adult who could speak for herself. God, I swear everyone is the same. Just because Y/n is boring and insecure, doesnât mean she doesnât know how to speak for herself.â
âGet out. Weâre at your place so just go,â Taehyung said, annoyed with the harshness she was projecting on you, âY/n might put up with you but I wonât.â
With an irritated scoff, she swung the back door open, âFine, screw you guys too.â
The door slammed shut as she stormed up to her apartment and Taehyung waited till she was gone to say, âFuck, what did that girl drink? Y/n, why do you put up with that? Hey.â
You stayed silent for a moment letting her words sink in. Whatever, she yelled and threw a tantrum, thatâs fine, thatâs normal. But she seriously thinks youâre just a bore and maybe youâre starting to believe it too. If it werenât for you always being cautious over how she might feel about you and what you do, you wouldnât seem so boring.
Or was that just how you were and now youâre trying to say itïżœïżœïżœs because of Miyoung? Jeez, you just canât seem to make up your mind about anything but all you know is that⊠youâre not boring. Well, you donât have to be. If she wants to think that always backing up whatever she says makes you boring, then maybe itâs time you just do what you want even if she doesnât like it.
âTae, can you do me a favor,â You finally said, making him look over at you curiously. The car is still parked in front of Miyoungâs place and heâs been waiting for you to speak anyway, âWhat?â
âTake me back to the party please.â
Miyoung was wrong, if you were boring itâs because she made you boring. Anytime you did anything on your own, she always had to ruin it and you just let her. You just let Miyoung monopolize your time and make you her right-hand in everything. Youâve never gotten the chance to truly put yourself out there because you firmly believed you didnât compare.
Maybe you needed to stop overthinking and just do what you want, be confidentâor at least act like you are.
âY/n! Youâre back?â Yoongi asked once you made it to the party again, âLet me tell you, I was mad because I thought you left before even talking to me.â
âIâm so very sorry,â You said playfully, âBut do you know where Jungkook is?â
He seemed to freeze up, surprise written on his face and he looked down at you questioning. You held his gaze, watching the wheels turn in his head before he was blurting out, âI donât know. The bathroom?â
You blinked nervously, letting him slip away from you when someone called for him and were left standing there. Your mind was racing with ideas yet you couldnât think of what to do.
What did you expect coming back?
What does this prove?
You feel anxious and insecure and maybe she was right, youâre boring and you donât even speak up or do anything exciting.
âJungkook?â You called out to him as you walked down the hall of doors, knocking or opening whichever door you landed on. You got to the last door with a bated breath, realizing itâs a bedroom and closed yourself in.
Your sense of bravado had been short lived. Whatever burst of confidence you had was completely gone now that you sat alone in the guest room contemplating just going home or not.
In all honesty, this was stupid from the very beginning. You let Miyoungâs words get to you and you acted before you could think. You didnât need to prove anything. Plus, you donât want Jungkook. Maybe once before you did⊠but not⊠anymore?
God, you felt like an idiot.
âY/n?â
Your heart dropped with a sense of disbelief as you looked up. The once pitch black room was illuminated by a block of light from the open bathroom door. Jungkook stood at the doorway, brows furrowed as he looked at who sat on the bed.
âJungkook,â you cleared your throat awkwardly.
âYouâre back?â He asked, looking you up and down with a hint of suspicion. You nodded your head silently, making him blink with confusion.
You stood up from the bed suddenly, âAre you done in there?â
âUh, yeah,â he moved out of your way, watching you closely as you closed the door in his face before he could say anything else.
Maybe this had been a sign that you didnât want to talk to him but he couldnât bring himself to leave the privacy in the bedroom to go out where everyone else was. He could hear the faucet running but oblivious to how you wet your face to try and snap yourself out of this strange mood before drying off. When you opened the door, you didnât expect to see him standing there right in front of you.
âEverything alright?â He asked, halfway in the doorway, walking forward making you step deeper into the bathroom.
âYeah, everythingâs great,â you said with a strained smile, backing away, âJustâwhat about you? Has it been fun, this is all for you, right?â
âI guess,â Jungkook shrugged, âBut it would have been more fun if you stayed.â
âGood thing I came back then,â you couldnât help but laugh nervously, leaning against the sink counter.
âGood thing,â Jungkook licked his dry lips, âY/n, about what I was saying earlier⊠I would honestly like for us together sometime, just the two of us.â
A small, shy smile appeared on your lips as you thought about earlier and repeated yourself playfully, âWeâre hanging out right now, arenât we?â
âI guess,â he blinked in confusion, looking down at you and struggling to keep his composure. Your response was a bit of a let down since he hoped you had come back to see him and he should have known better. You would never take him seriously after his mess with Miyoung and he was always reaching for the stars thinking it could work out.
Plus, youâre too good for him. You always have been.
He canât explain why, but heâs always felt a sense of ease with you, like everything was perfect. As shameful as it is to admit, Miyoung had reasons to be worried.
When they dated⊠well, it didnât stop him from thinking about you from time to time. Miyoung was aware of it too and he looks back on it now and realizes how wrong he was then. It was wrong for him to think about you when he was never able to have you, and he will be much less now.
âAm I wrong? Is it not just the two of us now?â You asked, swallowing the lump in your throat and looking to the bathroom door which was closed some time ago.
âY/n,â he said it softly but you could sense his warning tone, like you were going to get yourself in trouble. Jungkook wanted to believe you were aware of what this looked like yet he knew there was a chance you werenât. He couldnât just go for it.
He could not just go for it.
Not even if you looked up at him with a look in your eyes that said you might want him toâŠ
He could be dreaming it up.
Would you want him to?
No. No way, you would never, thatâs how this all started right? You wouldnât want him the way he wanted you and youâll go be with someone else while he beats himself up for another failed attempt. Heâs not in college anymore, he canât make the same mistakes.
You do not want him.
âY/n,â he said with a sigh, âI think we should get out nââ
It was soft but sudden. One second he was giving up on everything he had been hoping for and was ready to go on once again without telling you how he really felt. The next, your lips were on his, barely giving him a chance to feel the tenderness of it before pulling away with a gasp.
âJungkook,â you covered your mouth with your hand, âOh my god. Iâm s-sorry, I, that was not okay. I shouldnât have done that.â
You were rambling, apologizing for doing it without asking him first but in all honesty, he couldnât hear you anymore. There was a strange ringing in his ear that only seemed to stop when he grabbed your face in his hands, and pulled you into a real kiss.
To keep yourself from leaning back too far, you wrapped your arms around his neck and met him the rest of the way. You kissed him back with an equal sense of urgency that had his eyes falling shut and letting himself get lost in the moment. Your lips were soft against his own and his lip rings felt cold on your tongue the first couple times.
At one point you surprised him by nipping at his piercings with a soft tug and it had his hands tightening around your waist, using his strength to pull you onto the counter with ease. It made it easier to kiss you and he let the small sigh you let out guide his tongue between your lips. Your hands were in his dark hair, and you surprised him with the way you took lead of the kiss. It felt like he was melting into you and it was doing things to him.
âY/n,â he mumbled softly, âI want you so bad.â
You pulled back from him with widened eyes. It was the first time you heard him sound that way and you knew he meant it. He looked at you with an intense gaze and it felt good to be looked at that way by him. You wanted him too, right? Thatâs why you came back. That's why you were so upset back then. Why canât you have him now?
What was really stopping you?
Nothing.
The second time he kissed you, you didnât hesitate from doing more and it had his mouth dropping when he felt your hand trace down his toned chest. He let that feeling motivate his hands to do the same to you and they ran along your sides till he could feel your front. His hands slipped under your top and found your chest, gently reaching to touch you as he kissed you with his tongue.
Your fingers trailed down his navel to the waistband of his jeans, tugging softly and teasingly that you felt the way he sucked in a shaky breath. When he didnât pull away to tell you to stop, you took it as a sign to go a little farther and undo the button and zipper. Jungkookâs rough fingers caressed your breasts ever so softly but with an added pressure that made you let out a small sigh, especially when he ran his thumb over your nipples.
He released a light groan against your lips when you got more confident in your actions and slipped into the hem of his Calvin Kleinâs. You barely touched his growing member but you felt it harden against you, the more attention you gave to it and it was all just exciting to you. His kisses were needy and his rough hands felt so good against your sensitive buds that you couldnât hold yourself back. You wanted to make him feel good too and you could tell you were.
Jungkook helped you tug his jeans down enough for you to have more reign over him and you touched his bare dick so softly. The first touch was light and teasing, like you were still letting him get lost in the feeling before you actually did anything but it was soft that it made a tingle run down his spine. Goosebumps rose on his skin and blood ran straight to his cock making it easier for you softly palm him to full hardness.
You circled your fingers around his tip, softly running your thumb around the ring feeling him twitch with need and softly sliding down to his base.
His movement grew rougher, he was no longer softly caressing your breasts but more groping, never getting enough for the softness of them. When you began to stroke him gently, he found it hard to keep himself from digging his nails into your flesh to ground himself and it made a hand of his fall to your leg. His palm was wide and flat against your inner thigh, tracing his lips down your jaw and to your neck to try and distract himself from getting too lost into the feeling.
âFuck,â he huffed, licking his dry lips as he began to slowly fuck into your closed fist, deaf to the sound of music just outside the bedroom you two were hiding in. The bathroom felt even smaller at this point yet he couldnât bring himself to put a stop to it now. Especially not when your hand began to fuck his cock faster, with more vigor as he twitched in your hold making his nails dig into your thigh harshly.
Your skirt was scrunched up around your hips at this point and he could see the soft blue of your laced underwear and couldnât stop himself anymore. He had grown too curious to have you and with his hand so close already, he let his thumb trace along your covered folds.
They were already sensitive at this point and his sudden touch made your insides tighten with arousal, your back straightened in surprise and a light moan left your lips. The sound snapped his attention away from his own pleasure and when he did it again, he swallowed your moan with his mouth on yours.
He couldnât take thing slow anymore, especially not when his dick felt so close to the edge already and was trying not to cum all over your hand and so soon.
You were withering against him, squirming on the counter to feel more of his hand against your heat. Your fingers tightened in his hair when he reached under to the hem of your panties, pulling them down as far as he could. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he tugged them down your thighs. Jungkook pulled away from your lips with a slight groan as he brought his fingers to your lips. He pressed into your bottom lip watching close as you drew your mouth open and took them in. As you licked between two fingers, your handâs stroking sped up with more pressure that had him pushing them deeper down your throat.
When he pulled them out there was an obvious line of drool connecting his fingertips to your lips and he brought his hand between your legs once more. The mixture between his rough fingers and the slick that now coated them made a tingle run down your spine when they ran along your folds. You pinched the fabric of his shirt as he circled your hardening clit with his middle finger while his index finger began to tease your sensitive labor.
He ran the longer finger down your slit, dipping into the puddle of arousal that formed at your center before using it to wet your clit and massage you gently.
You looked into his eyes as he finally pressed his middle finger into your waiting cunt, giving you a second to respond and he couldnât help but let his lips slip open with heavy breaths. Your hand stopped its actions as you took in the feeling of him pulling out his finger before pushing it forward once more. Each time felt hotter than the last and it made him want to take things further. When he thought you adjusted enough, he teased the tip of his ring finger in with his middle one and kept a steady pace of thrusting.
At this point you began to stroke him again, rubbing against his mushroom tip where a thick vein was felt along the underside of it. Your hips had began to move with the motion of his hand and you were fucking his fingers into you while fucking his cock with a closed fist. The both of you were left speechless, unsure how long you had been locked away in the bathroom but not caring either.
You felt more impatient than him but you couldnât help it. You canât remember the last time you let someone else touch you and none felt quite like this. Jungkook seemed to know where to kiss, where to press or pay attention to and he never left a part of you untouched. Even now as he thrusted his fingers into you, his other hand was at your chest again, fingers pinching your nipple and tugging harshly but it brought little whines from your lips.
âJungkook,â You were breathlessly calling for him and youâre sure that if your back wasnât to the mirror, you would be able to see how desperate you looked to him. Your other hand was on his hips, pulling him forward in hopes of getting him to get the hint that you needed more, âFuck me.â
âWhat?â He asked with heavy breaths, looking down at the way the tip of his cock pressed against your inner thigh now, âReally?â
âPlease,â You found yourself begging, desperately begging for him to give you something and oh, how it worked.
His eyes rolled back at the soft sound of your begs and with a hand on your thigh, he pulled you harshly to the edge of the counter. He placed his hand over yours and stroked himself once, twice, to slick his member with your arousal and his own.
His cock was hot to the touch and pointed straight to your waiting entrance. He had made such a mess of you already that when he pressed his tip into your clit, it nearly slid down from how wet you are. You had to bite your lip to keep from whining too loud when he teased you with that repeated motion, wetting his tip more and feeling the way your walls tightened and released for him.
Your back was fully against the mirror now, legs open waiting for him and you were getting impatient. The anticipo had been building up for too long and you brought your hand between your legs. All it took was a soft push down for his cock to sink into your waiting pussy.
His jaw went slack at the sudden tightness of it, he hadnât expected it to be so snug. His tip barely pushed against the ring of nerves and your facial expression matched his own when he kept going. He held your thighs open, guiding himself in with a deep breath.
âFucking hell,â he growled lowly, hands trembling as he kept you open and ready to take him in. He looked up at your eyes, completely enamored by the way your features softened with pleasure. Your eyes were glazed over with obvious lust that made him want to just fuck you into oblivion.
âOh my god,â your hand circled around his neck, pulling him into a sloppy wet kiss that left him biting your lip softly. He groaned against your lips as he picked up the pace of his thrusting, letting his cock drag against your puffy walls so that you could feel every juncture on his length. Your back was arched into him, your chest nearly pressed against his and he snuck his arm around your waist to pull you firmly against him.
âThatâs it baby,â Jungkook groaned into your ear, gripping onto the counter with his free hand to fuck you better. You were on the edge of the sink and he bucked his hips up to reach that pleasure spot he had found with his fingers just moments ago and had you moaned loudly into his ear, âYou sound pretty, tell me how it feels.â
âFeels good,â you whispered softly against his neck, lips teasing kisses against his skin that made the veins in his arms bulge, âDonât stop, please.â
âNgh, Y/n, beg for me,â Jungkook said with a deep voice filled with lust as he fucked you with all his strength. There were too many layers of clothing between you but neither of you seemed to have the time or energy to tear them off. You were both too focused on the pleasure that came from feeling his skin against yours.
Your legs tightened around his waist forcing more of his length into your sopping cunt and his fingers pinched your sides roughly. Without thinking, Jungkook lifted you off the counter. You clung to him as he stepped back and he needed a second to just feel the way your pussy tightened around his hard, thick cock. He wanted to dig into your guts and it was nasty how badly he wanted to have you cum all over him.
It was so unexpected because you always came off as a quiet, reserved person but here you were letting him tear you in two with his fat dick. Jungkook used his strength to push you against the door, letting you drop onto his length before backing his hips up and pistoning them back into you.
âFuck, I canât,â your legs tightened around him with your face digging into his neck, âJungkook, baby, I canât.â
âYou can,â He whispered, pressing you firmly into the wall, âCome on baby, take it.â
âToo much,â You whined, squeezing your eyes shut as he picked up the pace and you searched around for something to hold. Your hand tightened around the doorknob, trying to anchor yourself as he fucked you so good you could barely focus on anything but the pleasure, âIâm so close.â
Jungkookâs hand held you firmly by the waist while the other cupped your ass, groping you harshly as he fucked you onto his length trying to make you cum, âCum baby, for me. Yeah?â
âYeah,â you moaned, âKiss me, please?â
He didnât hesitate to do so, kissing you with tongue as you clung to him, moaning into his ear and shaking slightly. His knees buckled tightly to hold you up and just as he gave one final thrust to the hilt, he felt your orgasm hit you.
Your walls tightened around him, nearly bringing him to his own orgasm before feeling his tip get flooded with your release. His thighs shook with the pressure of it and he felt his strength leaving him. His abdomen grew tense and he pushed you back to the counter where you let your head fall back with pleasure. You swallowed dryly, panting heavily, âOh my god.â
You were sweaty, tired and overall unsure what to think but your mind hadnât cleared yet. All you could focus on was the way Jungkookâs dick throbbed painfully hard when he pulled out of you with a slight pop. You eyed his red member, slightly hypnotized by how pretty it looked and you dropped to your knees wordlessly.
Jungkook watched you slip down on your knees in front of him and it took him a moment to process what was going on. He was hard, so fucking hard he couldnât think straight and it wasnât until your hands held his thighs, eyeing his cock hungrily did he realize what you wanted to do. He brought a hand fo attempt and gently brush your hair back, âY/n, baby, you donât have tâoh fuck.â
His jaw went slack when your hands circled his base, your lips on his tip and taking him down your throat suddenly. Your nose brushed against the base of his cock, eyes watering as you tried relaxing your throat around him and he nearly stumbled back with surprise, âY/n.â
You ignored his call of your name, and began to bob your head against his length, your tongue licking along the thick vein you discovered earlier and feeling his hands sink into your hair to guide you, âThatâs it, fuck.â
Jungkook looked at his reflection in the mirror, turned on by the way your head was seen bobbing against his length and his body was overheating so much he had to pull his shirt over his toned chest to cool down. It gave him a perfect view of the way his cock disappeared between your lips.
The thought of having you like this hadnât dawned on him yet but now he couldnât forget it. The memory would always be ingrained in his mind and although he doesnât know if heâll never get a chance to do this again, he couldnât hold it in any longer.
You gradually began to pick up the pace, using your hands to hold closed fists around his cock to help stroke what didnât fit in your mouth. You swallowed and bobbed around his dick hungrily, moaning around him and hollowing your cheeks when you would pull your head back until only his tip was between your lips.
As ashamed as he was to admit it, he wasnât going to be able to hold himself back anymore. Still wanting to warn you, he tried to guide your head off him, âIâm close.â
All it did was push you to take him deeper, stopping when he hit the back of your throat and sucked. Jungkookâs eyes squeezed shut with a loud growl as his orgasm hit him harder than it had in a very long time.
You coughed as his cum sprayed down your throat, thick and creamy with a bittersweet taste that you tried to lick up. You wouldâve cleaned him off fully despite his legs shaking but he pulled you off. He pulled his softening dick out of your wet mouth with a huff, panting heavily as he looked down at you.
âY/n,â his voice was dry, pulling you up to your feet, âThat wasâŠâ
He couldnât even get the words out as he watched you lick the corner of your lips and without thinking about it, he pulled you into a heated kiss. You kissed him back with need, moaning against him as his tongue circled around yours hungrily, not caring for the way he tased on you. You only broke away to catch your breath, realization dawning at you as you looked at his messy appearance that surely mirrored yours.
You sat against the counter for a moment, attempting to catch your breath as Jungkook did the same. The two of you were silently readjusting your clothes again and you needed just a moment to yourself. He looked at you, buttoning his jeans back up, âIs everything⊠okay?â
âYeah, um, can I just get a minute,â You said with a hoarse voice trying to pretend like you couldnât see the way his shoulders slumped down. With a short nod of his head, he left the bathroom to let you wash up and for a moment you just looked at yourself in the mirror.
Your reflection looked different, maybe because what you had just done was so out of character and with your best friendâs ex but⊠why did it feel right?
Jungkook wondered what would happen now, if you expected him to leave the room or wait for you but he wanted to be with you. He didnât want to walk out and think that because he got something heâs been wanting for years now, heâll just leave. He knows the others are looking for him, mostly because heâs gotten a few texts now asking where heâs at but he canât bring it in himself to care. When you opened the bathroom door into the dark room, he looked like a deer caught in headlights, rushing to his feet, âAre you sure everything is fine?â
âYeah, yes,â you nodded stiffly, âIf you want to go out there with everyone else thatâs fine. I wonât be upset or anything.â
âWell, I was kind of wondering if you wanted to come back to mine?â
The first thing you noticed the following morning aside from the sun shining down on your face was the heavy arm across your waist. It made your eyes flutter awake with a small huff leaving your lips as you attempted to stretch your limbs but it tightened around you, securing you closer to Jungkookâs naked chest.
âMorning,â he mumbled sleepily into your hair as he hugged you closer.
âWhat time is it?â You asked awkwardly, trying to sit up making his arm slide to your hips instead. You reached for your cell phone, eyes widening by the number of text messages.
miyoung: bye I was drunkkkkkk đł
miyoung: did I đ€ź at all?
miyoung: r u alive
miyoung: helloooooooo
A quiet sigh escaped your lips as you read it over. Either she couldnât remember how upset she was in the car or sheâs going to pretend like nothing at all happened.
God, what did you do?
âY/n,â Jungkook grumbled tiredly, âLay back down.â
âI should go,â You bit your lip nervously. If Miyoung forgot what happened last night then maybe she forgot about Jungkook asking you and wonât know you⊠slept with him. Fuck, were you a bad friend?
He dated your best friend and dumped her out of the blue making it obvious he wanted nothing to do with her and here you are letting him fuck you in the bathroom. What did that make you? You had a poor lapse of judgment last night, you acted out of character and hadnât been behaving like yourself at all.
âWhy?â He sat up suddenly, âYou donât work today, right? Why donât we go grab breakfastâwell, brunch.â
You looked down at him, unable to stop yourself from taking in his appearance. He had bed hair, no shirt on and his blanket draped over his waist. He failed to take off his jewelry last night so he still wears silver chain necklaces around his neck and leather bracelets. You couldnât possibly spend time with him still. It wasnât right, right?
Just as you were ready to give him your answer, your phone began to vibrate with an incoming call. You looked down at the screen and a picture of you and Miyoung displayed on the screen that had Jungkook huffing quietly and laying back down, close to giving up.
In all honesty, you werenât in the mood to talk to her. It still bothered you by how harsh she was last night but thereâs a chance she doesnât even remember and⊠âHello?â
âTell me why I have a raging headache when I barely drank last night?â Miyoung said immediately once the call went through, âItâs your fault yâknow for upsetting me.â
You couldnât see her but she was walking on a treadmill in her apartment acting like everything was completely normal. Jungkook didnât care for your conversation either but he was focused on the way you looked first thing in the morning.
You looked cute, undeniably cute with circles under your eyes and a disheveled appearance. You wore an oversized shirt of his so you wouldnât have to sleep in such uncomfortable clothes and he loved it. You looked good in his clothes.
Without thinking, he sat up and pressed his lips to yours in a short and surprising kiss. You flinched back with confusion, nearly dropping your phone in the process but he backed away with a small smile. You tried to glare at him but you couldnât stop from smiling and it annoyed you when he placed a gentle kiss against your neck that made you feel flustered. You almost forgot you were on the phone when he leaned in for a kiss again and one you would surely grant.
âBut I forgive you,â Miyoung said suddenly.
âWhat?â
âI forgive you, Iâm over it,â Miyoung said with a shrug you couldnât see, âOur friendship means more to me than Jungkook and I know you would never do anything that you know would upset me so⊠itâs whatever. In the past.â
âWait,â You held up a hand to Jungkook as you said it to the both of them, âWhen did I apologize?â
He stopped immediately, looking at you with concern as Miyoung went on, âI mean, we both know you were going to. Iâm just letting you know itâs alright.â
âNo, Miyoung, I wasnât going to,â you couldnât help but scoff, âI havenât done anything wrong.â
Technically.
Jungkook raised his brows, surprised by your tone and a little turned on? Was that okay to say?
âI didnât mean it like that, but you know⊠you were flirting with the guy who dumped me,â Miyoung said, âItâs fine, whatever, you want to flirt with Jungkook, I donât care anymore I just thought I meant more to you as a friend.â
You didnât say anything for a moment as you looked down at Jungkook who couldnât seem to go more than a minute without attention. He had your free hand in his measuring your size difference and you released a sigh, âYou know what, Iâm kind of busy right now so Iâll call you later.â
Miyoung wasnât able to get a word in before you ended the call, turning your attention to Jungkook, âYouâre getting me in trouble, sir.â
âIâm terribly sorry,â he said, biting back a grin, âHow should I make it up to you? Brunch?â
âYouâre still thinking about that?â You asked with a slight laugh.
It was strange trying not to let your best friendâs feelings bring you down too.
âIâm hungry,â Jungkook said, hand on his toned stomach for detail.
âI donât have clothes or, I donât know, a toothbrush,â you couldnât help but sound sarcastic, falling back on the bed with an arm on his chest.
âDonât worry, I got you.â
In the end you caved to his incessant begging and found yourself dressed as casual as ever with an oversized tee and the skirt you wore last night clashing horribly. The only thing that had you regretting it was what stood [parked] in front of you.
âYouâre not serious, are you?â You asked as you watched him walk up to you with a helmet in his hands, âI canât get on that.â
âYou can,â Jungkook said, putting it over your head, âIâm a very safe driver.â
âWhat about your car?â You asked nervously as he buckled[?] you into the head gear, âCanât we just go in that.â
âWe can but that wonât impress you,â Jungkook snorted a laugh as he got his own helmet on, âCome on Y/n, I wonât kill you, donât worry.â
With a small sigh you nodded, letting him lead you to the bike and he swung a leg over to straddle it and patted the seat right behind him. Frankly, you didnât care that you were in a skirt. You know that thereâs an appropriate way for people in skirts to straddle something but you cared more about living so you straddled it the way he did. Jungkook couldnât help but smile as he felt the softer touch of your hands on his waist and without saying a word, he pulled you into him suddenly. Your chest was pressed to his back and your arms snug around his waist.
âAtta girl, no time to be shy now,â he chuckled, feeling you smack his arm playfully.
If he were being honest, he liked this side of you. Heâs never seen it before and it was breathtaking and enjoyable. Before when you were just classmates you were still stand offish from him and the only night he got you to open up was the first time he ran into you and met Miyoung. It was short lived and once he dated her, he rarely got to see you alone.
When he got back, you would barely even look at him yet whatever spurred last nightâs events seemed to open up new possibilities for you two. You havenât talked about what happened but heâs expecting it almost excitedly.
Jungkookâs hand ran up your thighs, securing you to him as he started up the motorcycle, feeling the smoothness of your leg and teasing the end of your skirt with a small tug, âReady?â
He felt you squeeze harder before taking off.
The cafe was small and filled with warmth making this feel oddly close to a date⊠which is probably because it was? Youâre still not sure how to take it.
âDid I really get you in trouble?â Jungkook asked as he cut his breakfast sandwich in half before doing the same with yours. When you looked at him he looked concerned by the notion. You didnât have to ask to know what he was referring to and you couldnât help but sigh, âNot really, sorry, it was more my fault than anyââ
âWhy though?â Jungkook cut you off, âWhy is it always your fault? You canât talk to me now?â
âYou know we didnât just talk,â you bit your lip nervously. You couldnât meet his gaze and he didnât like that.
He huffed in annoyance, âBut she doesnât know, or does she? I mean, what does it matter?â
âYou dated. Sheâs my best friend and it bothers her, I already feel guilty for what happened last nightânot that I regret it, donât get me wrong but⊠well, itâs just confusing and it upsets her,â You rambled, still defending Miyoung even when she was slowly getting under your skin.
âWe dated so long ago, it was such a short fling,â Jungkook said with a laugh as he went back to eating, âAnd she dumped me so why does it matter if you and I get together?â
âI donât know, I just⊠sheâs my best frieâwait, what did you say?â You met his stare suddenly making him set down his coffee cup to answer.
âShe dumped me so why canât you and IâŠâ he stopped. Did you mean for him to repeat the part about being with you? Did you want him to say it again, maybe use the right words this time?
Why is he saying Miyoung dumped him? You remember the day exactly.
Miyoung called you while you were studying in the library late one night, not fully in tears but clearly under duress and she couldnât stop herself from letting her emotions get to her. She went on to tell you how Jungkook dumped her suddenly over a phone call because he wasnât interested anymore and was just using her or something.
You remember because you left the library to go comfort her and you almost ran into him on campus and he wouldnât even look you in the eyeâŠ
He dumped her because he got bored, thatâs why she asked you to stop talking to him. He was just like every other guy according to her and you owed her the promise to avoid him. It was you who introduced them anyway andâŠ
Why is it that any guy youâve ever thought youâve liked would fall for her instead, only to dump her and in return make her ask you to not speak to them again?
Jungkook wasnât the first so when she asked you to avoid him, it bothered you a little but you soon got over it and did as told.
You always do as told without questioning it.
âYou broke up with her.â
He chuckled, shaking his head no, âI was going to but she beat me to it. I donât know how honest you want me to be this early in the day.â
âTell me,â you urged him on.
âI wanted to break up with her but I had this sick feeling that I wasnât going to be able to talk to you as much anymore or it would be awkward so I stuck it out,â Jungkook said it with a shrug, âBut then she dumped me and suddenly you wonât even look at me so it was worse for me, I guess.â
Your eyebrows stitched together with confusion, âWhat are you saying? Why did you care if I talked to you or not? You went for Miyoung the second you met herââ
âThatâs not true, actually,â Jungkook confessed, deciding if you wanted honesty he would give it even if it embarrassed him, âI wanted you.â
âAnd when I met her, I was obviously there at the bar trying to talk to you but she kept butting in and next thing I know, you were off talking to Yoongi and ignoring me,â Jungkook went on, âTo be honest, I was kind of insecure back then, like really insecure and I was trying to get you to notice me but everytime someone would cuââ
âJungkook, stop, I just⊠no, you did not like me, you dated Miyoung,â You cut him off, fidgeting in your seat anxiously, âItâs fine, itâs in the past.â
âNo itâs not fine and I asked how honest you wanted me to be and you told me to tell you so Iâm going to,â Jungkook said more seriously, âI was insecure, alright? I had just moved to the city and I shared class with this pretty, incredibly smart girl who would barely give me any time of day. Honestly it was kind of depressing, I was kinda depressed at the time and I needed a boost to talk to you so I asked Miyoung and⊠she said you were into someone else so I was pretty bummed out. Then sheâs kind of just everywhere and she actually tries to talk to me so when she asks me out, I say yes but I realize I still have to see you.â
âAnd I liked being around you even though I probably shouldnât have because technically I was dating her at this point and I realized that I practically screwed up whatever chance I might have had with you,â Jungkook couldnât stop himself anymore. He was saying whatever was on his mind, barely giving you time to process any of it before continuing, âYes, I know itâs fucked up because whenever I thought it might work and I might catch real feelings for her, you would came around and they just went out the window. So it was getting harder and harder to keep pretending and I wanted to break up with her but I was worried you wouldnât talk to me anymore.â
âShe beat me to it and dumped me because she was bored and I was relieved, honestly, but then I see you on campus and you canât even look at me anymore,â Jungkook cleared his throat, âThen life went on, I moved away, moved back, ran into you again andâŠâ
âAnd what?â You asked breathlessly, lips dry and completely frozen in your seat.
He looked at you warmly, âI found you, everything just came back and I knew I didnât want to lose you a second time. I wanted to ask you out the first night at the bar but you didnât even want to talk to me so I tried again last night and you were so ready to blow me off when Miyoung came along. I donât know what made you come back to the party and I donât want you thinking Iâm some sleazy guy who acts like that with just anyone. I was just⊠it was unexpected and I had been waiting years for something to happen between us.â
Suddenly, this didnât feel like an easy brunch inside a warm and cozy cafe anymore. In all honesty, it felt a little suffocating now and you donât know how to explain it, but you didnât want to be here. So much has just been thrown at you and you donât think you can handle it all.
What did he mean that he liked you first?
Why had Miyoung told him you were into someone else? You learned to stop sharing who you liked with her so long ago and had never once told her anything like that in school. Why couldnât she just have asked you? Why did she ask him out after he made it known he wanted you?
You donât care that he said yes, that really was in the past for you. Now youâre more focused on why someone who was supposed to be your best friend would act so sneaky? What did she gain from it?
Why did she lie and say he dumped her? Was it just so she can paint him as a villain and make you not want to talk to him anymore? Why would she do that?
âY/n?â He called your name waiting for you to respond to him but you just sat there stunned, âIâm sorry, I know I was a piece of shit for dating her when I wanted you buâY/n.â
Your mind is filled with questions that you couldnât answer and it was overwhelming. The cafe felt suddenly overwhelming and you just had to get out of there, so you did.
âEarth to Y/n, I donât know how long you plan on ignoring the world but I know youâre not too busy with work to ignore your friends.â
Tacky, Taehyung was so very tacky leaving a concerning voicemail. Who left voicemails these days?
And he was being dramatic, heâs acting like youâve fallen off the face of the Earth but thatâs not true. Youâve just been holed up at either the office or your home for the past week, avoiding any call or text from anyone so you could be alone with your thoughts.
Alright itâs been over a week, almost two and maybe it is a little concerning but youâre telling yourself youâre just being dramatic.
âY/n you better open the door before I break it down,â Taehyungâs muffled voice boomed from the other side of your front door and you begrudgingly went to let him in.
âRelax, Iâm not dead,â You muttered under your breath as you let him in.
âDamn near!â Taehyung said loudly as he let himself through the door, âWhat is up with you? You havenât responded to any text I was beginning to get worried.â
âSorry,â you mumbled as you flopped down onto your couch, âIâve just been tired.â
âToo tired to answer the phone?â Taehyung asked sitting down next to you, âMiyoung, I get. Ignore her all you want but me? What did I ever do to you? Whatâs up with you? I havenât talked to you since the party. Did something happen?â
With a small sigh, you let your head rest against the back of the couch, âI slept with Jungkook.â
âReally?â Taehyung seemed genuinely surprised, âSo fallout with Miyoung Iâm assuming? Look, I personally donât get why you try to make her happy but sheâll get over it. Did you like it? Like him?â
âYes, I donât know, Iâm confused, I donât know what to believe anymore,â you admitted, âAnd I feel so dumb because this shouldnât be a big deal.â
âAlright well I need you to rewind and explain things better so my pea brain can handle it,â Taehyung made himself comfortable, âYouâve gone Ghost for over a week, I want to know why. Was it because of Jungkook? Miyoung? If you think sleeping with him makes you a bad friend theââ
âSheâs a liar,â you cut in, âAnd it shouldnât bother me so much because sheâs my best friend but thatâs why it bothers me, Tae. Iâve known her for so long, and Iâve always tried to be a good friend to her but it was never enough. So I tried harder and harder because who else would be there for me like her but⊠now that Iâm looking back on it, I donât think sheâs ever cared about me as much as I care about her and it sucks, honestly.â
Taehyung wanted to tell you so many people cared about you but he wanted you to say whatever you needed to say first.
âYou know what Jungkook said? He said Miyoung knew he apparently liked me before and still asked him outâand lied about how I felt about him,â You said, âAnd okay, why would I fight over a guy with my best friend but now that Iâm thinking about it⊠itâs fucked up right? She lied that he dumped her and begged me to avoid him. You saw how she acted the other night just because he talked to me. What was that about?â
You werenât going to go into full detail about the past because you owed Jungkook enough to not tell Taehyung about everything he said but he needed context.
âAnd I know itâs in the past so I should just move on but I canât,â You admitted, âI still like him but if I⊠I get with him Miyoung would never let me forget that she dated him first, even if he liked me. Itâs just all so confusing and overwhelming and it sucks that Iâm letting it get to me like this but⊠itâs not fair.â
Once again, Taehyung didnât say anything but he could tell you were feeling emotional by the way your voice began to shake.
âI like him, and not in the way I liked him before but I like this new him too, and itâs not fair that even if she lied or even if she snaps at me about shit that doesnât matter, I will still feel guilty,â You finished.
âY/n,â Taehyung cleared his throat, âObviously I donât know everything that happened back then but⊠I think that if you feel for him what he feels for you, it shouldnât matter what she says. And honestly, I just⊠I wish you could see that there are so many people who care about you so much and you donât have to put up with being belittled by someone who is supposed to be your best friend just because you have history. It doesnât matter if itâs in the past, if itâs upsetting you now then clearly it still matters so donât try to downplay your emotions.â
âBut sheâs my best friend,â your lip quivered.
âThen what am I?â He forced his lip to quiver as well.
âYouâre my best friend too,â you sniffled.
Taehyung mimicked your expression, âThen as your best friend, Iâm telling you to stop trying to make excuses for people who donât treat you rightâand go fix it with this guy.â
âBuââ
âY/n, I know you,â Taehyung sighed, âAnd I know that youâre not going to do anything if you think it upsets her but she doesnât deserve a friend like you. You deserve to go be with whoever you want. I donât care about what she says and at this point neither should you. I know that right now itâs confusing and youâre overwhelmed but if youâve been ignoring me youâve been ignoring himâI hope because if itâs just me thatâs coldâand if the girl I had feelings for ghosted me⊠Iâd be hurt.â
Jungkook was not hurt. He was⊠y'know, perfectly fine and thatâs what he kept telling himself. Itâs not like you made any real sign of feeling something for him too after hooking up and maybe that had just been a casual, one time thing. He can handle that, heâs grown.
Sure, he sort of spilled his damn heart out to you just for you to storm off on him and not reach out to him in days but heâs not bothered by it at all. Thatâs why when his two closest friends called Saturday night asking him to go clubbing⊠he said yes.
It was a chance to possibly let it go, forget it even, but it wasnât easy. He was aware that he was possibly reading too into what happened the other night but could you blame him? Youâre suddenly all about him and spend the night at his place where you wake up in his arms before going out to eat. It was like the perfect set up for a what if yet it went all wrong. Clearly it was his fault for being hopeful.
âSo who else did you say is meeting us here?â Jungkook asked Hoseok for confirmation as he passed him a drink. The music played loudly in his eardrums that it was borderline painful and he wanted to leave more than anything but there was that stupid what if in his head.
âJiminâs joining later on and so is Namjoon and his girl,â Hoseok said as he made sure everyone else had what they ordered, âOh, and Y/n too, I think.â
âY/n?â Jungkook tried clarifying. Hoseok smiled, âI know, itâs weird, Y/n seriously rarely comes out but all of a sudden sheâs starting to more. I mean, lately she has, probably since around the time you got back?â
Jungkook let his friend go off to do whatever he wanted while he stood there seemingly frozen. Tonight would be the first time in days that he sees youâtalks to youâand heâs not sure how to handle it. Thereâs nothing he can do about it either because he hasnât confided in anyone yet but itâs painfully obvious that heâs waiting for you.
Yoongi noticed first, like he usually did, and tried talking to him, âWhatâs up with you? Youâve been antsy since the party, will you finally tell me where you ran off to?â
âYeah man, donât think we didnât notice when you disappeared,â Jin said with a slight wink, âWe just want to know with who.â
âY/n.â
He could see you from the corner of his eye when you joined them at a table they had found. You came with Jimin by your side and a shy smile on your face. He assumed it was Hoseok who had screamed your name considering how he hogged your attention with a huge grin and Jungkook felt nervous all of a sudden.
As embarrassing as it was, Jungkook had nearly forgotten what he was asked until he looked back at Yoongi and Jin who looked at him expectantly. A nervous laugh escaped his lips as he shrugged, âDid you guys miss me too much?â
âSneaky guy, donât change the subject,â Jin laughed before letting Jungkook shift his attention back to you, making it painfully obvious where he was focused.
You felt a little nervous to be out tonight but after what you had talked about with Taehyung, you knew he was right. You acted strange with Jungkook after he opened up his side of things to you and it was plain wrong. Part of you isnât even sure if heâs actually interested or not since he didnât reach out to you this week and it made you wonder if he was really upset.
And if he was, would that mean that he didnât want to speak to you?
âI need a drink,â you mumbled to yourself more than to the others but it made a good excuse to at least try. You looked at Jungkook for the first time since you got there and cleared your throat to awkwardly ask, âJungkook, do you mind going with me?â
âGet me another, will ya?â Yoongi asked with a sudden wink that made Jungkook do a double take. Was he winking over the drink or him leaving with you?
He nodded his head in response and without question followed you to the bar once more. The bar was packed from all sides and Jungkook had to fight his way to the counter working as a barrier from people pushing at you. If he were to be honest, he wanted to skip the questions and get close to you again but he had to stay strong. He needed answers, right?
âAre we good?â Was the only thing he could think to ask.
You looked at him warmly, sitting down on the stool at the counter with him standing close to you, his hand itching to reach for you. Your lip caught between your teeth as you nodded, âAre we?â
For some reason he didnât expect to be asked that back. It made him wonder if he thought you were. It was undeniably embarrassing to have you walk out on him like that after he thought it had been going good but did that mean he was truly upset with you?
âYeah,â he nodded stiffly, blinking nervously and looking to the bartender who noticed them a while ago but had to attend to earlier customers first, âBut uh, I guess I am just a little confused by it all. Did I do something to upset you? Was it what I said?â
âNo, no, Iâm sorry, it wasnât you,â You blurted out, âIt was me, I wasnât thinking straight and I feel really bad about leaving like that.â
âThen why didnât you just call or even text me?â Jungkook asked honestly, âI⊠I think thatâs what bothered me the most.â
You looked down at your hands, âI'm sorry. I didnât talk to anyone, seriously, and I did think about reaching out to you but I donât know, Iâm really bad at explaining things.â
âWell can you try? I know it was sudden but I thought it had been going good,â Jungkook said and the longer he tried getting to the bottom of this, the more annoyed he felt that you couldnât just say it, âI think Iâve made it clear now how I feel about you and all Iâm asking is for you to do the same.â
âIâyes,â you stumbled over your words, âI mean, Iâm trying to be clear now but Iâm doing a shit job at it. I did have a good time with you but it was honestly, really out of character for me to yknow⊠and then the whole Miyoung thing and Iâm sorry but it was just a lot all at once. Itâs definitely not fair to you that I acted that way, but I do have feelings for you.â
He let out a sigh, feeling unsure how to take it and stuck between wanting to smile in relief and wanting to be upset. You didnât text him, nothing. How is that fair? He wanted to reach out to you but after the way you left he thought he would just make it worse if he kept bothering you. The bartender finally got to you two and he let you speak first as he tried gathering his thoughts a little more.
âBut what does this mean?â Jungkook asked now, âI want you and you want me, right? So, what does this mean Y/n because right now Iâm still confused by it all. If itâs because of Miyoung thenââ
âNo, itâs not, honestly,â You said, reaching for him, pinching the bottom of his shirt between your fingers to pull him toward you, âI don't care what she thinks anymore, I like you and I should have just said that from the beginning.â
The pull was harsh and had him looking down with his lips slightly parted in surprise, âY/n, youâre not being fair.â
You knew it. You knew you probably ruined your chance now and coming to see him had just been a waste. You nearly let go of him when he continued, âYou canât ignore me and walk out on me and then just tell me you want me too, expecting everything to be fine.â
He had to be tough. He canât just let it go even though youâre saying everything he wants to hear.
âYouâre right, Iâm sorry,â you said with a slight frown, âI can leave if you want me to.â
âUgh,â he groaned, unable to help himself anymore as he closed the distance between you two. He circled an arm around you and pulled you into a hug, âWhy would I want you to leave when Iâve been waiting for you to get here?â
âWhat?â You asked, hands finding his waist as he held you, âI thought you were mad.â
âI was,â Jungkook said, âSo you donât know how annoyed I am with myself right now. All it takes is for you to sweet talk me a bit and give me those eyes of yours for me to fold, thatâs embarrassing.â
âJungkook,â you said, âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have walked out like that. I should have texted you and if you want to be mad, I get it. If you want to think it over anââ
âAnd what if I donât?â He asked looking down at your pouty lips and glossy eyes, âWhat if I just want to let it go and be with you without any more problems? Can I do that?â
His tone was surprisingly firm and you couldnât do anything but nod, âOkay.â
It didnât change the fact that you still felt bad because it seemed like you were being let off the hook easily but what else could you do? Jungkook really did seem ready to move past it and thatâs why you came here in the first place. You just hadnât expected it to be so easy and it made you feel bad.
When your drinks were ready, you opened up a tab despite his protests to just put it on his and the two of you got back to the group like nothing had happened. There was still a lot that needed to be talked about before you told anyone about what happened but itâs not like they were all oblivious.
Jimin, for instance, had been keeping an eye on you two at the bar since you left and had seen the majority of your conversation but he didnât bring it up. Instead he watched silently for your little glances in each otherâs direction and shy smiles. It was obvious to Yoongi too that Jungkook was in a much better mood now than earlier and it wasnât hard for him to figure out why.
Perhaps for the same reason you had suddenly started joining them more often, being more comfortable too.
It had been a slow start for the two of you after the night at the club. Neither one of you seemed to want to rush into things but at times there was a strong pull. Tonight was going to be your first official date but you were keeping that information to your friends until you figure out if this works or not.
Jungkook picked you up from your apartment and drove to a nice restaurant where the two of you sat for dinner. He was very attentive to you, making sure your glass was always full and all your needs met and it was a surprisingly good feeling to be taken care of this way. Youâve dated in the past but you canât say youâve always chosen the right ones. You had a tendency to lean toward the ones who were overly forward with you because in your mind there was no doubt they liked you.
At first it would be nice but then you would realize that it was more of a conquering feeling to them than actually wanting to be with you and you would be left heartbroken. Thatâs part of why you rarely put yourself out there.
Jungkook is different though, he always has been. When you first met him he was forward but aloof. You never expected him to actually like you because you couldnât see the signs clearly and the way things turned out it just never worked. Now that heâs been back heâs almost like an entirely different person in the sense that heâs ready to go for what he wants and itâs sort of admirable.
If you had been able to do that back then maybe you would have had him sooner but there was no point in dwelling in the past. He was here now and so were you. Honestly, knowing that there's something thatâs been brewing between you two for a long time made it easier to feel confident around him.
âWhy are you so pretty?â Jungkook couldnât help but ask even if his mouth was full. He was trying not to smile too as he said that.
âOh my god,â You felt your face heat up, tempted to hide behind your hand. It took you a moment to think of a response and it was surprising for the both of you to hear you say, âWhy are you?â
Jungkook cleared his throat awkwardly in hopes of not seeming too affected by your words. It didnât work and he broke out into a grin, âI wasnât expecting that.â
Dinner was filled with small flirting here and there. Itâs crazy how well you and him seemed to get along when you stopped worry about other things. He made you smile, really smile and you made him feel giddy whenever he talked to you. He wanted to spend his night with you and nobody else.
âAre we going to meet with everyone else after this?â You asked as he pulled your chair out for you and you got up from the table. After some back and forth arguing, he eventually took care of the bill despite your protests and the night felt near its finish much to your disappointment.
It was the weekend and youâve been trying to go out with your friends more and they had asked to meet up laterâbut both you and Jungkook had to tell them maybe.
âDo we have to?â He asked, taking your bag in one hand and holding yours with the other, âYou think theyâll get a little suspicious if weâre both gone?â
You walked with him across the restaurant toward the entrance. You werenât paying much attention to the people you passed, âIâm sure they know.â
Your response surprised him a bit and he couldnât help but ask, âReally? Has it been that obvious?â
âYeah, Jimin called me out on it the other night,â you shrugged, reaching for your bag to look for chapstick while he led you to the front. You couldnât meet his eyes because you sensed where this was going.
âWhatâd he say?â Jungkook asked slowing his pace for you.
You blinked nervously, distracting yourself with your lipbalm as you tried sounding casual, âHe asked why we were being so sneaky at the bar.â
Jungkookâs eyes widened slightly, opening the door for you as he said, âDamn, what did you say?â
âI said because weâre together.â
You tried being slick about it and slide past him without much attention but it was useless. He stood in front of you with a smile on his face, âOh, we are? I donât remember you clarifying that. Can you remind me when you asked me to be your man?â
âOh god, donât act like that,â you whined shyly.
âIâm sorry baby, I gotta hear you say it with your own words. Whatâd you tell him?â Jungkook blocked your path, hands finding your waist and keeping you from running. He liked making you flustered and you had no idea how you left him with a racing heart.
You pouted, looking at him seriously, âJungkook.â
The two of you stood outside the restaurant looking like a playful couple that maybe had one too many drinks but it was all Jungkookâs fault. He wouldnât let it go to rest and even had the nerve to smirk as he teasingly said, âThatâs not how you say âBoyfriendâ.â
âYouâre ridiculous, we talked about this,â you said, focused on his chest to hide your embarrassment.
Jungkook just grinned mischievously, âWhat did you tell him?â
âI said you were my boyfriend,â you mumbled into his chest.
âYour what?â He asked trying to step back and get a good look at your face, âCome on baby, donât get shy on me now.â
You whined, âJungââ
âYour what?â He was laughing now, not caring for whoever might pass them and stare because he felt good. Too good to be affected by a strangerâs judgement.
âMy boyfriend,â you sighed with embarrassment, âYou heard me the first time, goof.â
âThatâs what I thought, alright, you ready to go?â He asked with a chuckled as he took your hand in his ready to walk with you to the car.
âY/n?â
You both stopped in your step, wondering if it really was your name you had heard. You looked back toward the rest, eyes threatening to widen with surprise as you looked at the person who stood at the entrance. She was with a group of people all headed inside but when she saw you, she stopped.
âMiyoung, hey,â You cleared your throat awkwardly, your demeanor changing completely.
âHey, what are you doing here?â She asked as her eyes trailed behind you where Jungkook was looking at you with worry and confusion. He wanted to make sure everything would be alright, knowing how Miyoung would react. He didnât want your good night to be ruined over something petty.
âWhat do you mean? Iâm uh, I was just having dinner,â you said stiffly, looking back at Jungkook which proved to be a mistake because it seemed to solidify his presence to her.
âWith jungkook?â She asked with a snappy tone. Miyoung shooed away her friends, telling them to go in without her as she approached you.
âYeah.â
âWhy?â Her brow arched with amusement, clearly ticked off and in disbelief by what she saw before her. Like usual, the situation seemed much worse than it really was.
It was time for you to be up front. Whatâs the point in putting yourself out there and letting yourself open up to him if you wouldnât have the courage to make it known? You swallowed dryly, âBecause weâre⊠dating.â
Jungkook had stepped back from the situation, not wanting to worsen it so he stood off by a light post not too far for a smoke break. He tried distracting himself with lighting his cigarette but he couldnât help but freeze up when you said that. It brought a shy smile to his face as he waited for you to finish.
âNo, youâre not,â Miyoung scoffed looking back at Jungkook as if betrayed by him too. You blinked with confusion, what did she mean youâre not? Did she expect you to be joking or back down? âWe are.â
Miyoung stood in front of you now, slightly taller, âY/n, youâve been ignoring me for weeks and now youâre saying youâre dating my ex boyfriend? What kind of friend are you?â
This time it was you who scoffed lightly, looking away from her to try and process what you would say but you had spent too much time already trying to think it over, âThe thing is, um, Iâve been kind of wondering the same about you.â
âMe?â She looked down at you genuinely taken back, âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat and tried to gather the courage to just say it. You could feel Jungkook around, listening but giving you space and it was like a push start for you to say what was really on your mind, âIâm just tired of feeling like Iâm the only one who puts effort into being friends and I donât see the point in always fighting. Weâre not together, we donât have to be friends if it always has to be some sort of argument. Itâs getting tiring at this point and I think maybe itâs best we just distance ourselves from each other.â
âYouâre kidding, right? Iâm like the only person who really cares about you, Y/n. Donât act stupid.â
Although that made Jungkook want to intervene and tell her how very wrong she was, he didnât. He didnât want to speak for you. He knew you could speak for yourself and he should let you, even if he was itching to cut in.
âNo, I donât think you are. I know you think you are so you always tell me you are, but youâre not. People like me for me and not just because Iâm friends with you,â you said coldly and your tone was definitive it left her speechless. It had to be one of the first times you were ever remotely close to snappy with her and she didnât expect it.
âI know itâs hard for you to think of me as my own person but I donât have to do what you want,â You said, âAnd I think you only boss me around and act sneaky behind my back because youâre threatened by me.â
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. What you said left her rendered quiet. You waited too, waited to see if she would tell you to stand down but she didnât and you didnât give her time too, â But I think I should go, I donât want to bother your dinner any longerâand uh, maybe we just shouldnât contact each other anymore.â
Jungkook had forgotten about his smoke break, jaw nearly to the floor at how confident you sounded. It was obvious you had never spoken to Miyoung that way but she couldnât even deny what you said. You did it so casually and like you couldnât care less which made you seem mature compared to Miyoungâs tantrums.
âWhy was that kind of hot?â Jungkook asked as you finally reached him under the light post. Miyoung had stormed off with an evil glare that he ignored telling you how âYouâre doneâ.
He looked down at you with hazed eyes, amazed and enamored. You scrunch your face curiously, âWhat was?â
âYou, right now,â He chuckled, reaching for your hand in his, âKind of scary too. Remind me not to get on your bad side.â
âYouâre exaggerating,â you tried to laugh it off, âI wasnât mean, was I?â
It was so dumb of you to still be worried about it but you couldnât help it.
âNo, you were calm and casual but that was so scary,â Jungkook gasped dramatically, âBecause I know you were mad at herâ⊠it was mean but only a little and so very very hot, and youâre doing all this in that dressâŠâ
Without meaning to be, Jungkook was sort of like your hype man. You were worried about being too harsh, you still are, but he made you feel better about it. Part of you will never not feel in the wrong for being with Jungkook but youâve gotten the rest off your chest and it felt good. Maybe you were a bit mean or maybe you werenât, you could never be entirely sure but Jungkook seemed to be on your side no matter what.
âYou like my dress?â You asked him with a teasing smile as he held the car door open for you.
âI really do,â he played with his lip ring, looking down at you.
âThen take it off me.â
âOh fuck,â Jungkook whispered to himself as he looked around the parking lot, âHere?â
You broke out into a laugh as you sat down. Your words got to him easier than you thought and he sighed, âYou canât say that shit to me, Y/n. Iâll actually do it.â
âLetâs go back to my place and see if you can keep your word then,â you told him, watching him close the door with a tense jaw just thinking about it.
You canât do this to him. You canât be shy and cute one second and then act like that. You canât. Thatâs not fair to him. How is he supposed to not be affected when you say things that get his heart racing while looking so cute? Was this what it would be like dating you? Just constantly caught by surprise?
He did like the way you stood up for yourself. He liked that you spoke your mind more freely than before and he takes joy in hearing you flirt back. In the beginning it felt like he was the one always trying to get you to talk to him or notice him and now youâre saying things that make his head dizzy.
âYouâre gonna be the death of me, yknow?â Jungkook asked after the painfully long car ride back to your apartment. He was removing his coat as you sat on the edge of your bed to undo your shoes.
You let out an amused laugh, âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean⊠you act all shy and innocent and then you say shit thatâŠâ Jungkook let out a groan, âI canât explain it, you just drive me crazy.â
âIn a good way or bad way?â You asked, following him with your eyes as he closed the space between you two until he was at the end of the bed standing in front of you.
âA good way,â he said softly, âIâm finding more sides of you Iâve never seen.â
âAnd you like it?â You asked shyly, feeling his hands curl around your jaw.
âI do, a lot,â he confessed brushing his lips against yours, âI don't know what I wouldâve done if I lost my chance with you again.â
::.
NO PART TWO
oml yall this took me forever to come up with đ I went through at least six other ideas before deciding on this one and I canât tell how happy I am with it yet but I tried my hardest not the disappoint đ„č I miss being more active and taking to you all but life has been so busy lately
please let me know how you feel and I promise Iâll try to be more active đ«¶đœ
permanent taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog @cherrymonlightt @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover @saweetspoiled @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @jeonninja @yellowcupid08 @02010802faves @skzthinker @unnatae @beautywine @lilliankoo @annenakamura @lesoleile @burnahtsw @kooloveys @ku-ku @chaelvrx @minnie-mouser22 @whoa-jo @marvelbun @sunnikthv @kochycooky @acielelyseen @giselleswifeee @ilikeitlikethatt @bangmechanpls @lvr2seok @badbyeyoongi @jaerisdiction @watermelonjuice15 @artmsmaid @xyahrinx @angeleen777 @jooniesxbby @dream-cvtcher @jksjx @kissyfacekoo @joyjunk @caro134340lina @hyunjinswifeee @oldermenluverrr @caro134340lina @olivialeesstuff [taglist is too long so Iâll have to make two versions of it]
#jeon jungkook#Jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#jungkook bts#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook one shot#jungkook oneshot#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#jungkook fiction#jungkook imagine#bts smut#lost & found#jungkook fluff#jungkook fic recs
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Note: Wow, the roommate!Simon story blew up. Anyway, here's part 2.
Following his conversation with Johnny, Simon begins to think. He begins to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, heâs developing feelings for you. Why else would he be so protective and mad when the sergeant talks this way about you? The thought scares him at first.
For one, being near him is a death sentence, he saw that with his family. He canât even imagine surviving losing someone he loved again. Then there is another thing, the fact he isnât sure you would return his feelings. If you didnât, as he suspects, living with you would be torture, and heâs honestly too lazy to look for a new place to stay.
The next time he arrives home in the middle of the day, the apartment is empty since youâre at your workplace most probably. Not seeing your face brighten at the sight of him makes his heart ache, but he knows youâll be home in two or three hours, so he can most certainly survive that by lying down to catch up on sleep. He leaves a post-it for you on the small table next to the front door where you always put your keys, warning you that heâs back home.
Heâs woken by the smell of fresh coffee and something sweet. When he checks the clock on his bedside, he notices itâs past seven, which means he slept a good four hours without interruptions. The new record of the past weeks as the most he slept peacefully was two hours tops. He climbs out of bed and goes to the living room, surprised to see you in the kitchen, humming a song to yourself as you admire the neatly cut brownies on the kitchen island.
âYouâre awake!â you exclaim happily, quickly pressing a button on the coffee machine to make him some coffee too, then pick up an empty plate and put a slice of brownie on it. âWelcome home. Here, try this. I thought you might use some homemade things after being away for so long.â
That damn smile of yours. Itâs wide, happy, and it easily warms his heart and makes him smile too. Your good mood is infectious and he finds himself stuffing the cookie into his mouth as he stands next to you, nudging your side with his hip playfully. âItâs perfect, thank you,â he says while chewing, earning a roll of your eyes. You hate it when someone talks with their mouth full, so he quickly swallows the remains and goes, âSorry.â
You shake your head with a laugh then turn away to get his coffee. Simon canât help but wonder if this is how things would always be if you were his wife, if you would be this kind and caring all the time. He certainly could get used to this. He wouldnât believe he deserves all the love, but he would definitely enjoy your attention.
âWhat got you thinking so hard?â
Simon lets out a questioning hum before realizing he zoned out for a while. âYou,â he replies honestly.
âMe?â
âMm-hmm.â Before you could ask more questions, he moves in front of you, trapping you between the kitchen island and his body as he leans down to you. âI had an interesting conversation with someone and it got me thinking while I was gone,â he says with his lips moving so close he almost kisses you. âDo you have any idea how much I miss you when Iâm deployed? How many times do I wonder what youâre doing while Iâm away?â
Itâs easy to tell, especially from this close, that your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat as you watch him. Your eyes are moving back and forth between his lips and his eyes, unable to decide what to focus on. Youâre both under a spell that he doesnât want to break, in fact he wants this moment to last forever, this anticipation before he finally makes up his mind to kiss you. He wants to do it, but he canât help but think about whether or not you would be against it.
Maybe he thinks too much, maybe his brain is too focused on the negative thoughts, and before he knows it, you move your head to capture his lips with yours in a slow and sensual kiss. Simon is aware that he has issues. He understands that his brain is only on high alert because deep down he doesnât believe he deserves your attention. After all, heâs not a good man. Well, not always. He does his job like a good little soldier, but the lines are blurry between good and bad.
He knows that you know this too. Shortly after he moved in and found out what he did for a living, you had a lot of questions, many that he simply wasnât allowed to answer. But you probably sensed that he was keeping things to himself, certain aspects of this position that civilians would never understand. He didnât want to scare you away, he didnât want you to throw him out, so he kept his mouth shut. You knew that and never pried for more information.
When your nails dig into the skin on his back in a desperate attempt to pull him closer, Simon finally returns to the moment, returning your delicious kiss while his hands grab your ass and help you on the counter behind you. His lips trail from your lips to the shell of your ear, whispering praises until he feels your hands moving to his belt.
As much as he wants that, he knows he has to stop you. So he reaches down to grab your hands, pulling them away and lacing his fingers with yours as he kisses the tip of your nose. âNot yet, love. Letâs go on a proper date first, yeah?â he asks you with a small smile.
You whine, then you beg for more, asking him why you have to go on a date when you've been living together for over a year now. He tells you that the reason is simple; he spent a bigger part of it away from home so you have to get to know each other.
âI know you, Simon,â you push on, your fingers tracing the tattoos on his forearm as you speak. When you see the determination in his eyes, you finally let out a sigh of defeat and say, âOkay, fine. Let's go on a date first. But don't even think about something fancy. Let's keep it simple.â
With a short laugh, he leans down to give you a quick kiss. âUnderstood.â
Later in the evening, way past eleven, the two of you finally say goodnight and he returns to his room. There's a message waiting on his phone, one that came from Johnny. âIâll send her a DM if you won't introduce me,â it says.
âBetter not. She's taken,â he replies.
#ghost#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#call of duty#simon riley x reader#mw2#modern warfare#mw3#john soap mactavish#john mactavish
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sweetheart
obsessed!pervy!roommate!geto x f!reader
cw: roommates with tension to lovers, pervert geto, heâs kinda insane lol.., tracking, obsession, piv sex, kinda angry sex, creampie, possessiveness, panty stealing/sniffing/licking, NOT PROOFREAD IM JUST HORNNNYYY đđ
notes:part of my obsessed!geto series hehe, not completely the same as my hcs, but it kinda just combines all of them as best as i can đ«Ł
ââă»àš ⊠à§ă»ââ
âcare to explain, suguru?â
you were holding up three pairs of your panties, dangling it in the air in front of geto as heâs standing in the doorway of his room.
ââă»àš ⊠à§ă»ââ
youâd moved in with geto nearly three months ago. you thought it was too good to be true, the rent was a little too cheap and the apartment looked somehow nicer in person. you knew suguru, he was close friends with satoru whoâd been nothing but kind to you your whole time in high school and now in college as well.
suguruâs aura seemingly changed after the first month of you two living with eachother. you felt his eerie, purple eyes boring into your space and your eyes. you felt the air around you almost tense up when you mentioned guys. it was like he was gripping your soul sometimes.
of course, he knew you were looking back at him as well. when he got out of the shower and his towel was clinging onto his abs. maybe even when he came back from the gym and untied his slicked back hair while his black locks fell onto his muscular shoulders.
one night on your birthday when you both came back from your birthday dinner, heâd given you a special present, a small heart locket. he held his breath as he stood behind you, clicking it into place as he watched how every hair fell from its root in your scalp, how smooth your nape was, how your delicate hand held your hair out of the way.
he had hid a small, unnoticeable tracker inside the locker, tucked away in small details carved into the heart. the way you were carved into his.
he was whipped for you
however, naive of the deeper issues that were lying under your nose, for the past few weeks, you noticed that your underwear had been going missing at a concerning rate. itâd gone from reasonable to unexplainable and it pissed you off. honestly, you wouldnât have even expected it was geto until he slipped two days ago.
youâd been running around the apartment, checking under tables and in drawers for your missing undergarments that you set out on your bed as you prepared a bath. you groaned before calling out for him
âsugu, have you seen my underwear?â you yelled while pacing the living room, hoping heâd hear you from his room.
âno, i dont even go near your bedâ
you huffed, turning away before taking out an old one from the bottom of your underwear drawer until it hit you.
how would he know it was on your bed if he didnât go in?
ââă»àš ⊠à§ă»ââ
there you were, snooping through his closet when you found exactly what you were looking for, your missing panties. you picked up a fraction what was hidden away in his closet and called out for him while you held them up. he came quickly, stopping at his doorframe as he watched you with the stolen undergarments.
you knew he wasnât stupid, i mean, he had kept it going for so long. maybe he let it slip on purpose , maybe he wanted you to catch him.
âshiiit, looks like your laundry got in the wrong room,â he chuckled, wiping the shocked expression off his face before stepping into the room, âlemme put that in the laundry basket for yââ
âhell no!â, you shrieked, pulling your panties away, âyouâre the reason why theyâve gone missing!â
geto bit the inside of his cheek before sighing and throwing his hands up, âyou think they just grew legs? yes, it was me. think about it, sweetheart, who else would it be? the boogeyman?â
your jaw dropped at his words while he quietly laughed at his own joke. heâs perverted and corny. you hadnât expected such a straightforward response from him. did this man have no shame? he stared at you while you were trying to find the words.
âcat got your tongue? i like you, sweetheart,â he lowered his hands as he grinned, his eyes traveling to the little locket he gifted you, âhope youâre not mad at me, i mean, iâve seen your browser history, mânot the only person with some fucked up kinksââ
you threw your panties to the side before walking up to him. fuck it. grabbing him by his plain black shirt, you pulled him down and crashed your lips against his. he smiled against your lips, leaning into you before you pushed him away again.
âyou asshole! youâre so weird, stealing my underwear when you couldâve just opened pornhub,â you huffed, wiping your mouth and chin with your sleeve.
ârunning away so soon?â he smiled as you turned away. you wished you could punch him in the mouth.
âyes.â you flatly stated as you try to push past him. he caught your wrist, pulling you back into his chest as he wraps his arms around your torso.
âdonât go, sweetheart. i know you want me,â he leaned in, taking a short sniff of your hair before he rested his chin on your head.
âi donât wantââ
âthen pull away. iâll stop everything, leaving you alone, and pretend nothing happened,â he mumbled, pulling away and holding you by your shoulders. his eyes bore into your face as your eyes wandered elsewhere, ignoring his gaze.
âuse your words, baby,â he whispered, his hand coming up to cup your face as you unconsciously lean into him.
âi-i do..â you admit, looking down in shame.
âaww, baby, sâokay..â he chuckled, bringing you back into his arms as he squeezed you, âi know, i know.. donât be embarrassed, iâm sorry for taking your panties,â
it felt like he was babying you but you couldnât help but reciprocate his actions, slowly returning the embrace. you look back up to him, his eyes already on you as you go on your tippy-toes, capturing his lips.
âi want you, suguâ
ââă»àš ⊠à§ă»ââ
geto wastes no time, throwing you gently onto the bed as tugs your pajama shorts off, prying your legs open as he smiles as the small damp spot on your panties. embarassed, you try closing your legs but he keeps them open, clicking his tongue in faux annoyance.
he dips his head in, pressing his nose up against your little clit, rubbing it a little as you whimper. he sharply inhales, whining from your scent before his tongue darts out to taste your slick on your panties.
âs-sugu!â you yelp, jolting from the feeling of his tongue and how shameless geto was being
âshh, shh, jus lemme do it,â he whispered, his tongue darting back out to lick back and forth from your clit to your clothed pussy. he pulled back finally, to admire how sheer your little panties had gotten before he pressed his nose in one last time, whining as he inhaled the mess he caused.
he stood back up, gesturing for you to sit up on the edge of the bed, guiding your hand to his crotch. you look up at him for approval before he nods, your hand cupping his erection before unzipping it, his black boxers doing nothing to hide his huge cock.
there was a small trail of black hair making your mouth water, a stairway to heaven, or maybe hell. you cautiously pulled his boxers down, his hard cock springing out as his tip slapped against his tummy.
geto hissed as his cock finally spring free, watching you wrap your hand around it. he couldnât believe his eyes, heâd been fantasizing about this for weeks, seeing his little roommate beneath him, seeing you finally accept him in.
the moment you wrapped your lips around his cock, he couldnât do it anymore. he already felt like he was going to cum in your mouth and heâd be damned if his first time in you wasnât in your little pussy.
pushing you down again on the bed, he yanked your panties off, giving your clit a small spank as you gasped.
âplease, sweetheart, lemme cum in your pussy first. we can do whatever you want after,â he whined, pumping his cock as he lined himself up to your wet pussy.
you nodded frantically, reaching down to the bottom of his abs and trailing to his neatly cut pines above his cock. he groaned, his eyes rolling back as he pushed inside you.
âf-fuck.. yes, baby, fuck, iâve been wanting this for so l-long..â he groaned, loosing himself in the feeling of your wet heat.
âbeâshit! be quiet suguru.. just fuck me!â you cried
his head snapped up, his cock hardening impossibly more as he moved his hips, suguruâs girthy cock pushing all the way up and kissing your cervix. he loved you this way. being able to submit yet put him in his place, he loved you.
âfuck, fuck, baby, you feel so good!â suguruâs head dipped down, his eyes widening almost maniacally as he watches his special necklace bouncing in tandem with your tits.
he reached down, running his hands over your chest and the necklace as he pounded your pussy mercilessly. suguru moved his hand down, running your clit with his thumb as he watched his cock disappear into your pussy over and over again, making a translucent white ring of juices form around the base of his cock.
his tip was dragging over your g-spot in an almost euphoric way as he groaned profanities in your ear. he ran his tongue along your collarbone, licking up to his neck to leave marks on your neck.
âsay it, sweetheart, say youâre mineâ he pleads with you, his eyes furrowing as he grabs your face gently, making you look at him.
âiâm yours, sugu..â you mumble, drunk on his cock as your drool on his hand.
âuse your big girl voice, baby, âcanât hear youâ
âiâm yours! all yours!â you cry, âf-fuck, sugu iâm gonna cum!â
his pace quickens, continuing to hit your g-spot until all you could see was white.
âcum for me, sweetheart, cum all over my cock.. fuck!â
you unravel on his cock, squirting all over his cock, making him cum as well. his cock shot warm ropes of cum deep into your sweet pussy as he paused, not pulling out just yet. he leaned back, admiring you as he rubbed your clit, letting you ride out your orgasm before giving your tits a small spank as well.
âgood girl, good fuckin girl.. youâre all mine now, sweetheartâ
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